The Anointing

[babylonsfalling]

The Anointing

Fret not in the signs of the times but discern wisely,
seeking not the false prophecies of vain men
who revel in grand perceptions of their own wisdom.

For such are the deceivers in every age,
Saying to the people,
“Lo here is Christ” and “Lo, He is there.”
Yea, though they teach many to fear the wrath of the Lord,
few do they teach to love the grace of the Messiah.

For fear is a passing thing,
gone when the lies of a false prophet are brought to light,
whence men shall come to blaspheme the Word of the Lord
for the lies of the false prophet.

Seek only the wisdom of God,
as revealed by the Spirit,
to each man according to his best portion.

For it is written,
You have an anointing of Him that abideth in you,
and ye need not the teachings of men
for the anointing shall teach you all things.

Mark 13:21-22
Romans 2:24
1 John 2:27

[Jerrybaldy]

too subtle for me

[babylonsfalling]

too subtle for me
Too subtle?
I don't understand.
If I said something was too subtle, I'd probably mean too vague, to the degree that that I'd be having a hard tome "getting the point"....I have a feeling you mean something else though?

[Jerrybaldy]

irony.

[hillwalker]

'Subtle' is not really the word that springs to mind - to me this reads far too cumbersomely. Perhaps it's the archaic style of language you utilise. No one says 'Lo' any more or 'whence' or 'ye' or 'abideth', and you appear to have fallen into the trap of many misguided writers who believe using such words in poetry adds credence to what they are trying to tell us when in fact it merely serves as a distraction.

The other thing that bothers me is that this reads more like a series of epigrams (at best) than a poem. The fact that you have arranged these into 'verses' doesn't necessarily make it a piece of poetry. There is no flow, no emotional depth or perception on the part of the writer. It is purely a set of instructions handed down in a rather patronising fashion, about as lyrical as a recipe for coq au vin, but made even less palatable by a style based on some archaic Old Tesament format - you are preaching, so the reader is unable to interact with the poem other than bow down in obedience or dismiss as balderdash.

Perhaps it is meant to be read as a parody, but even then there is little poeticism on display here.

I would advise you to decide what you wish to express then write it down in as naturally flowing a language as you can - then perhaps embellish it with some original touches to make it truly your own. Just don't go over the top the way you have here.

And as for those names at the bottom - what are they intended to signify? It's like someone writing a sonnet then sticking Shakespeare, Keats and Wordsworth at the bottom, hardly the mark of an original mind.

H

[tailor STATELY]

I enjoyed your poem as a person of faith; and find the scriptural references an help to see where your inspiration comes from.

What Jerrybaldy and Hillwalker illustrate in their remarks is to remember your audience. This is a very diverse group of poets and wannabes (like me) and not all will drink from the same teapot (mine must contain peppermint tea).

Those who are uncomfortable with scriptural word play may very well 'not get it', or become offended/offensive, or... (you get the idea).

Read deeply between the lines of Hillwalker's critique. Examine his love, his passion, for the poetry he is accustomed to; of his reaching out, entreating you for a common ground - lost upon the canvas you have painted. As Hillwalker alludes a softer hand might prove beneficial when writing to this forum.

Those who are comfortable with scriptural word play may not have the same faith, or flavour of faith, as you - which opens up another can of spaghetti (not every likes or tolerates Chef BoyarDee [though nobody doesn't like Sarah Lee - go figger]).

So, there we are. Consider the source of criticism if you wish dabble in these waters, and be not easily offended.

I think, overall, you'll not find a more eclectic and endearing community.

Sincerely,
tailor STATELY