gabe1scott
09-08-2010, 01:00 AM
This is my first ever attempt at a short story. It happened upon accident actually I was in the middle of writing a poem when this story unraveled itself from my mind. I think its pretty neat but very rough. Let me know what you think. Its kind of long for a short story lol.
The Deal
By Gabriel Scott
The sun outside looked very strange when my path merged into a crossroad of sorts. It retained its golden blaze but it was tainted and it still looked bright but yet also strikingly gloomy. It was so odd that it captivated me deeply and I became entranced in it. After a while it began to hide behind the overcast. It almost seemed to be trapped, as every ray of light struggled to escape the dense, dark clouds. The clouds arrived abruptly in a swarm. There was barely enough light to cast a shadow. It could be said that this was a foreshadow… but to what? A rush of despair passed over me as quickly as the overcast had eclipsed the sun and I began to tremble from fear. I can’t explain this fear as my emotions run wild. The fear sets in deep enough that I can feel it well within the depths of my soul which previously I had never experienced. My heart beat raced so fast that I swore I would die at the very steps where my feet lie. But why? Unconsciously my mind knew what to fear but I could not bring it to the surface of my thoughts.
At once I was paralyzed where I stood. It was as if I was frozen in time for not only was I without movement but not even the fallen leaves dare to blow. It was not ‘til moments later that now I am able to move but not by the power of my own free will but instead I was being maneuvered like a marionette. But who I asked myself is the manipulator. I quickly retracted the question from my mind because I gravely feared the answer.
“There is no need to be fearful, I mean no harm. I only come offering a proposition.”
I could hear the voice but not from the outside surroundings but from within my own mind! I shuddered and would have trembled to the floor had I not been held up by whatever force was manipulating my movements. I was forced to turn around where now stood a man in the middle of the crossroads who seemed to appear out of thin air. He had a very light complexion but his features were all flawless. He was a handsome man, neatly groomed and finely clothed. He was wearing a black pea coat with a black vest and a black undershirt. On top lay a black tie. His pants and shoes were also dark rich black and it became obvious that the man’s entire apparel was of uniform black color. He wore a dressy top hat and had a wooden black cane. The black cane’s handle resembled that of a lion. Yet with all the elegance of his clothing he looked out of place or better yet out of time. He seemed to appear to be better suited for the 1920’s then the modern era. He had charming smile on his face that would sweep man or woman off their feet but yet beneath it hidden well was its deceit.
“Hello Mr. Rogers.” The unknown man said, his sly grin growing.
I did not respond… I could not respond.
“It seems you have stumbled across my path and in doing so I have been obligated to come with my proposition for you. A stronger, more righteous man would have passed through these parts without problem. But you Mr. Rogers well we both know you are neither strong nor very righteous. O yes, we both certainly know.” The man smirked. “But please don’t take offense Mr. Rogers, I mean no disrespect for if you had been stronger and more righteous then our meeting would have never happened and that would have been a crying shame.” He talked while walking back and forth swinging his cane, every word he said was properly enunciated.
I still could not respond but I was able to think and just as I started to wonder who this man could be, the man turned and looked deeply into my eyes and said, “Ah how rude of me, I’ve yet to introduce myself. Well Mr. Rogers, Im know by many different names depending who you ask but you can go ahead and call me Valefar.”
“I’ve been in this town for many years you see and have made great companions with most of the locals. But I am not confined to the boundaries of this town. I’ve been known to visit many different places all over the world. Anywhere with a crossroad and I can be found. I’ve meddled in Salem, traveled to Germany, been to the Southern states, and even was once in Jerusalem. As you can see I’ve been around for a fairly long time and that is because I am a wise man who makes wise propositions.” His eyes were fierce and powerful. “I even knew a few of your friends and relatives Mr. Rogers such as Chris Daniels, Robert Stone, and Daniel Donovan as well as many more. Yes we were all lovely companions, so you see there is nothing to fear Mr. Rogers I only ask you to join my companionship which you will be among great company.” Valefar said.
I was less tense and a bit calmer because I knew he would not cause me harm, but I was still apprehensive.
He awaited a response and in my mind his voice echoed, “Go ahead and talk now Mr. Rogers.”
“Of what importance is my companionship to you?” I asked.
“O my dear Mr. Rogers, it is of the greatest importance for you are a most special man whose company would be greatly appreciated by me.” He said.
“And of what benefit does my friendship with you offer to me?”
“Ah you see that is why I knew you were a great asset, you are smart and make sure you get a good end of a deal. I need wise souls like you.” He smiled as he emphasized on the word soul. “Well Mr. Rogers I am what you could call a very resourceful man and I can very easily get you whatever it is that your heart desires. Money, Happiness, Fame, I can also make sure you live for eternity.” His grin again widening.
“Well it seems that I do get the better end of the deal but why so? Excuse me for being a bit skeptical but I’m sure you understand.”
“Of course Mr. Rogers, but you see it is not entirely true that you are getting the better deal. Yes indeed you are getting a spectacular deal but with it come two clauses. The first clause states that you cannot reverse the contract after it has been agreed upon and the second clause states that after 15 years you’re property, belongings and companionship become exclusive to me. But O Mr. Rogers 15 years filled with every desire possible will fill like an eternity you see.” His sly grin never leaving his face.
“Well Valefar as you call yourself, I like to pride myself as a smart man so I offer my own proposition to you.”
“Go on.” He said a bit surprised and intrigued.
“I will accept your offer and companionship on the fact that you offer me 30 years instead of 15 and absolutely no less.”
His grin dropped into an expression of thought and when it returned he replied, “Well Mr. Rogers I would normally not do this but for being the first to ask and being such a great man surely I will accept.”
I smiled and agreed to his offer.
His parting words were. “Wish for anything you want and it will appear, and may we have another happy meeting in 30 years.”
I was sure I made the perfect deal for he was right that I wasn’t a strong or righteous man but I surely knew I was smart. I knew that by changing the terms to 30 years and absolutely no less I had found my escape clause which Valefar so smugly thought did not exist. I was now 40 and had no desire of being older than 70 especially with every wish now at my fingertips. If I were to wish death upon myself before the 30 years than Valefar could not exclusively own me yet since the contract could not officially end til the 30th year. But yet since I would be dead I would be forced to find a path to the afterlife. While certainly I am not the most righteous man, I knew that if I could ask for forgiveness before my death then surely I would arrive at the heaven’s gates and the grace of God’s will would keep me safe from Valefar.
I was surprised by my own wit and felt a hint of arrogance in myself knowing I had outsmarted a deal-maker that has lasted thousands of years.
For the next 29 years and 363 days exactly I lived my life like a dream. I wished for everything imaginable and did all that was possible. On the 364th day of the 29th year I knew my death must come to escape the contract through my well devised plan. I was perfectly satisfied with the life I had lived and I closed my eyes and wished a peaceful death upon myself and surely it came. As my eyes opened I looked around and instantly knew I was not at heaven’s gates but also knew I was not in any of the gates of hell. I was on a big stone platform that floated in the depths of air. The stone looked very old, millions of years possibly. Pieces of the stone were chipping but the entire platform was sturdy.
Surrounding the edges of the platform were huge pillars that seemed to reach the tops of the skies, though these skies I knew not as they were not earthly skies. I was relieved not to be in hell but I was anxious to find out where my location was. The people here looked miserable and alone. I asked around but besides odd looks no one offered me answers. Finally after a long search I found a man who claimed to be a prophet and he told me the answers which I sought after. He told me I was in purgatory as this was where all souls arrived before their departure to the other afterlifes. This was a state in which the soul must be purified from previous sins before entering through the gates of heaven. I was told that for each sin a total of the equivalent of 30 days must be endured in purgatory to be officially cleansed. As previously said I am not the most righteous man and I have sinned many times but the amount did not matter for one sin would keep me here 30 days which would then be too late for me to enter the gates of heaven.
As clever and crafty as I was I could have not foreseen this obstacle because being a human entity does not permit such Godly knowledge of spiritual sorts. I know felt a familiar dread as I did 29 years and 364 days ago for the reason that I knew when an earthly clock struck midnight my dear friend Valefar would come to collect my “companionship.” The prophet saw the despair in my face and must have known the grave hopelessness that followed my future and said, “May you rest in peace,” yet his facial features showed that he knew there was no peace to come for me now.
Purgatory follows no earthly boundaries so I knew not of the time frame I had left before my contract would expire and I would be forced to be exclusively owned by Valefar. Although time felt like an eternity before the clock hit midnight it did not help because I could only think of the impending doom that was heading my way. In an ironic way I almost wanted Valefar to show already for the unknowing wait was nearly too much to bear on my soul.
At once I felt the memorable feeling of paralysis that had controlled me 30 years ago. And I knew this was the end…
The stone pavement of purgatory rattled and trembled like a destructive earthquake hit and soon part of the platform collapsed in on itself and through it appeared Valefar. After Valefar appeared the stone pavement reconstructed itself and that was where he landed. He was wearing the same black attire and held his cane high. He still had his sly grin but this time there was no charm in it, the evil that was once hidden was now showing full blown.
“O my dear lovely friend Mr. Rogers. It is so great to meet you again.” He laughed. “Yes O yes it is so wonderful to finally see you once again. I’ve waited 30 years for you, the longest of any of my clients, but o you are something special Mr. Rogers. You are a very clever and wise man and that is why I am so glad to have stumbled upon your friendship. You see no one has came so close to outwitting me. I pride myself on being the greatest deal maker of all time and that is why I’ve been around so long, but you Mr. Rogers came nearly close enough to escaping your contract. I must say I was very impressed. I had not known of your plans until I found out about your death yesterday and it hit me that I mistakenly left out a new clause for not allowing a premature death before the end of the 30 year contract. O at first I was very upset you see Mr. Rogers for I felt like a fool. I’ve been making deals for over 1600 years and you came along and nearly sneaked your way out of our commitment.”
“O but shortly after I became so impressed with your effort that I find myself happy for you. But for all the happiness I had for your effort I must admit I was doubly so when I found out you forgot one little thing. Of course it was something you couldn’t have foreseen but I was greatly pleased to know that you would be stuck in purgatory purifying your sins and no spiritual resource could save you now.”
“Yes so here I am now Mr. Rogers a wiser deal maker thanks to you for no longer will I be foolish enough to make mistakes in my contracts and for that I must thank you.”
I was shaking from fear so bad that my bones rattled and gnashed against each other and my muscles were tearing apart.
“So Mr. Rogers I am here to collect my end of the deal now… your “companionship.” O my dear great friend we will now be able to share an eternity together. Your wit will be a great asset to me and I will be pleased to have you in my company. Is there anything you would like to say now Mr. Rogers?”
I spoke softly, “For all of my arrogance that I viewed myself as such a witty man, I see now that I am the greatest fool of all.”
“Indeed you are Mr. Rogers. Indeed you are.” Valefar said, his face seemed to almost express pity.
Soon after, the stone pavement again began to tremble and shake and collapsed but this time I could see fire and brimstone, and hear in sharp quality the piercing screams and agonizing shrieks of pain and torture.
“Well Mr. Rogers it seems that it is time for us to go.” Valefar said.
I began to feel my whole existence being sucked into the abyss below the stone pavement. I tried to hold onto the pavement and save myself from being engulfed into hell. I scratched and grabbed at the pavement til my nails ripped and the skin of my fingers came undone. I broke every bone in my finger trying to stay on the platform of purgatory but it was of no use for the force which pulled me was that of a supernatural order. I made one last screaming cry before I fell into the void and the hole stitched itself shut.
This is a recounted story of a one Stephen Rogers. A once wise man, that fell into some very unwise decisions. A smart man who almost tricked a demon at his own game but in the end you can never out trick a trickster. It has been said that Stephen Rogers remains in hell as the property of Valefar where he will eternally be his “companion.” Valefar now more wiser and smarter is a most grave threat to all spiritual souls. So if you ever find yourself on a crossroad and you are a rather unrighteous being and a man appears to you with a proposition, no matter how grand, it is best to politely decline and find a new path to righteousness.
The Deal
By Gabriel Scott
The sun outside looked very strange when my path merged into a crossroad of sorts. It retained its golden blaze but it was tainted and it still looked bright but yet also strikingly gloomy. It was so odd that it captivated me deeply and I became entranced in it. After a while it began to hide behind the overcast. It almost seemed to be trapped, as every ray of light struggled to escape the dense, dark clouds. The clouds arrived abruptly in a swarm. There was barely enough light to cast a shadow. It could be said that this was a foreshadow… but to what? A rush of despair passed over me as quickly as the overcast had eclipsed the sun and I began to tremble from fear. I can’t explain this fear as my emotions run wild. The fear sets in deep enough that I can feel it well within the depths of my soul which previously I had never experienced. My heart beat raced so fast that I swore I would die at the very steps where my feet lie. But why? Unconsciously my mind knew what to fear but I could not bring it to the surface of my thoughts.
At once I was paralyzed where I stood. It was as if I was frozen in time for not only was I without movement but not even the fallen leaves dare to blow. It was not ‘til moments later that now I am able to move but not by the power of my own free will but instead I was being maneuvered like a marionette. But who I asked myself is the manipulator. I quickly retracted the question from my mind because I gravely feared the answer.
“There is no need to be fearful, I mean no harm. I only come offering a proposition.”
I could hear the voice but not from the outside surroundings but from within my own mind! I shuddered and would have trembled to the floor had I not been held up by whatever force was manipulating my movements. I was forced to turn around where now stood a man in the middle of the crossroads who seemed to appear out of thin air. He had a very light complexion but his features were all flawless. He was a handsome man, neatly groomed and finely clothed. He was wearing a black pea coat with a black vest and a black undershirt. On top lay a black tie. His pants and shoes were also dark rich black and it became obvious that the man’s entire apparel was of uniform black color. He wore a dressy top hat and had a wooden black cane. The black cane’s handle resembled that of a lion. Yet with all the elegance of his clothing he looked out of place or better yet out of time. He seemed to appear to be better suited for the 1920’s then the modern era. He had charming smile on his face that would sweep man or woman off their feet but yet beneath it hidden well was its deceit.
“Hello Mr. Rogers.” The unknown man said, his sly grin growing.
I did not respond… I could not respond.
“It seems you have stumbled across my path and in doing so I have been obligated to come with my proposition for you. A stronger, more righteous man would have passed through these parts without problem. But you Mr. Rogers well we both know you are neither strong nor very righteous. O yes, we both certainly know.” The man smirked. “But please don’t take offense Mr. Rogers, I mean no disrespect for if you had been stronger and more righteous then our meeting would have never happened and that would have been a crying shame.” He talked while walking back and forth swinging his cane, every word he said was properly enunciated.
I still could not respond but I was able to think and just as I started to wonder who this man could be, the man turned and looked deeply into my eyes and said, “Ah how rude of me, I’ve yet to introduce myself. Well Mr. Rogers, Im know by many different names depending who you ask but you can go ahead and call me Valefar.”
“I’ve been in this town for many years you see and have made great companions with most of the locals. But I am not confined to the boundaries of this town. I’ve been known to visit many different places all over the world. Anywhere with a crossroad and I can be found. I’ve meddled in Salem, traveled to Germany, been to the Southern states, and even was once in Jerusalem. As you can see I’ve been around for a fairly long time and that is because I am a wise man who makes wise propositions.” His eyes were fierce and powerful. “I even knew a few of your friends and relatives Mr. Rogers such as Chris Daniels, Robert Stone, and Daniel Donovan as well as many more. Yes we were all lovely companions, so you see there is nothing to fear Mr. Rogers I only ask you to join my companionship which you will be among great company.” Valefar said.
I was less tense and a bit calmer because I knew he would not cause me harm, but I was still apprehensive.
He awaited a response and in my mind his voice echoed, “Go ahead and talk now Mr. Rogers.”
“Of what importance is my companionship to you?” I asked.
“O my dear Mr. Rogers, it is of the greatest importance for you are a most special man whose company would be greatly appreciated by me.” He said.
“And of what benefit does my friendship with you offer to me?”
“Ah you see that is why I knew you were a great asset, you are smart and make sure you get a good end of a deal. I need wise souls like you.” He smiled as he emphasized on the word soul. “Well Mr. Rogers I am what you could call a very resourceful man and I can very easily get you whatever it is that your heart desires. Money, Happiness, Fame, I can also make sure you live for eternity.” His grin again widening.
“Well it seems that I do get the better end of the deal but why so? Excuse me for being a bit skeptical but I’m sure you understand.”
“Of course Mr. Rogers, but you see it is not entirely true that you are getting the better deal. Yes indeed you are getting a spectacular deal but with it come two clauses. The first clause states that you cannot reverse the contract after it has been agreed upon and the second clause states that after 15 years you’re property, belongings and companionship become exclusive to me. But O Mr. Rogers 15 years filled with every desire possible will fill like an eternity you see.” His sly grin never leaving his face.
“Well Valefar as you call yourself, I like to pride myself as a smart man so I offer my own proposition to you.”
“Go on.” He said a bit surprised and intrigued.
“I will accept your offer and companionship on the fact that you offer me 30 years instead of 15 and absolutely no less.”
His grin dropped into an expression of thought and when it returned he replied, “Well Mr. Rogers I would normally not do this but for being the first to ask and being such a great man surely I will accept.”
I smiled and agreed to his offer.
His parting words were. “Wish for anything you want and it will appear, and may we have another happy meeting in 30 years.”
I was sure I made the perfect deal for he was right that I wasn’t a strong or righteous man but I surely knew I was smart. I knew that by changing the terms to 30 years and absolutely no less I had found my escape clause which Valefar so smugly thought did not exist. I was now 40 and had no desire of being older than 70 especially with every wish now at my fingertips. If I were to wish death upon myself before the 30 years than Valefar could not exclusively own me yet since the contract could not officially end til the 30th year. But yet since I would be dead I would be forced to find a path to the afterlife. While certainly I am not the most righteous man, I knew that if I could ask for forgiveness before my death then surely I would arrive at the heaven’s gates and the grace of God’s will would keep me safe from Valefar.
I was surprised by my own wit and felt a hint of arrogance in myself knowing I had outsmarted a deal-maker that has lasted thousands of years.
For the next 29 years and 363 days exactly I lived my life like a dream. I wished for everything imaginable and did all that was possible. On the 364th day of the 29th year I knew my death must come to escape the contract through my well devised plan. I was perfectly satisfied with the life I had lived and I closed my eyes and wished a peaceful death upon myself and surely it came. As my eyes opened I looked around and instantly knew I was not at heaven’s gates but also knew I was not in any of the gates of hell. I was on a big stone platform that floated in the depths of air. The stone looked very old, millions of years possibly. Pieces of the stone were chipping but the entire platform was sturdy.
Surrounding the edges of the platform were huge pillars that seemed to reach the tops of the skies, though these skies I knew not as they were not earthly skies. I was relieved not to be in hell but I was anxious to find out where my location was. The people here looked miserable and alone. I asked around but besides odd looks no one offered me answers. Finally after a long search I found a man who claimed to be a prophet and he told me the answers which I sought after. He told me I was in purgatory as this was where all souls arrived before their departure to the other afterlifes. This was a state in which the soul must be purified from previous sins before entering through the gates of heaven. I was told that for each sin a total of the equivalent of 30 days must be endured in purgatory to be officially cleansed. As previously said I am not the most righteous man and I have sinned many times but the amount did not matter for one sin would keep me here 30 days which would then be too late for me to enter the gates of heaven.
As clever and crafty as I was I could have not foreseen this obstacle because being a human entity does not permit such Godly knowledge of spiritual sorts. I know felt a familiar dread as I did 29 years and 364 days ago for the reason that I knew when an earthly clock struck midnight my dear friend Valefar would come to collect my “companionship.” The prophet saw the despair in my face and must have known the grave hopelessness that followed my future and said, “May you rest in peace,” yet his facial features showed that he knew there was no peace to come for me now.
Purgatory follows no earthly boundaries so I knew not of the time frame I had left before my contract would expire and I would be forced to be exclusively owned by Valefar. Although time felt like an eternity before the clock hit midnight it did not help because I could only think of the impending doom that was heading my way. In an ironic way I almost wanted Valefar to show already for the unknowing wait was nearly too much to bear on my soul.
At once I felt the memorable feeling of paralysis that had controlled me 30 years ago. And I knew this was the end…
The stone pavement of purgatory rattled and trembled like a destructive earthquake hit and soon part of the platform collapsed in on itself and through it appeared Valefar. After Valefar appeared the stone pavement reconstructed itself and that was where he landed. He was wearing the same black attire and held his cane high. He still had his sly grin but this time there was no charm in it, the evil that was once hidden was now showing full blown.
“O my dear lovely friend Mr. Rogers. It is so great to meet you again.” He laughed. “Yes O yes it is so wonderful to finally see you once again. I’ve waited 30 years for you, the longest of any of my clients, but o you are something special Mr. Rogers. You are a very clever and wise man and that is why I am so glad to have stumbled upon your friendship. You see no one has came so close to outwitting me. I pride myself on being the greatest deal maker of all time and that is why I’ve been around so long, but you Mr. Rogers came nearly close enough to escaping your contract. I must say I was very impressed. I had not known of your plans until I found out about your death yesterday and it hit me that I mistakenly left out a new clause for not allowing a premature death before the end of the 30 year contract. O at first I was very upset you see Mr. Rogers for I felt like a fool. I’ve been making deals for over 1600 years and you came along and nearly sneaked your way out of our commitment.”
“O but shortly after I became so impressed with your effort that I find myself happy for you. But for all the happiness I had for your effort I must admit I was doubly so when I found out you forgot one little thing. Of course it was something you couldn’t have foreseen but I was greatly pleased to know that you would be stuck in purgatory purifying your sins and no spiritual resource could save you now.”
“Yes so here I am now Mr. Rogers a wiser deal maker thanks to you for no longer will I be foolish enough to make mistakes in my contracts and for that I must thank you.”
I was shaking from fear so bad that my bones rattled and gnashed against each other and my muscles were tearing apart.
“So Mr. Rogers I am here to collect my end of the deal now… your “companionship.” O my dear great friend we will now be able to share an eternity together. Your wit will be a great asset to me and I will be pleased to have you in my company. Is there anything you would like to say now Mr. Rogers?”
I spoke softly, “For all of my arrogance that I viewed myself as such a witty man, I see now that I am the greatest fool of all.”
“Indeed you are Mr. Rogers. Indeed you are.” Valefar said, his face seemed to almost express pity.
Soon after, the stone pavement again began to tremble and shake and collapsed but this time I could see fire and brimstone, and hear in sharp quality the piercing screams and agonizing shrieks of pain and torture.
“Well Mr. Rogers it seems that it is time for us to go.” Valefar said.
I began to feel my whole existence being sucked into the abyss below the stone pavement. I tried to hold onto the pavement and save myself from being engulfed into hell. I scratched and grabbed at the pavement til my nails ripped and the skin of my fingers came undone. I broke every bone in my finger trying to stay on the platform of purgatory but it was of no use for the force which pulled me was that of a supernatural order. I made one last screaming cry before I fell into the void and the hole stitched itself shut.
This is a recounted story of a one Stephen Rogers. A once wise man, that fell into some very unwise decisions. A smart man who almost tricked a demon at his own game but in the end you can never out trick a trickster. It has been said that Stephen Rogers remains in hell as the property of Valefar where he will eternally be his “companion.” Valefar now more wiser and smarter is a most grave threat to all spiritual souls. So if you ever find yourself on a crossroad and you are a rather unrighteous being and a man appears to you with a proposition, no matter how grand, it is best to politely decline and find a new path to righteousness.