PDA

View Full Version : Solace of Rain



Dark Muse
09-06-2010, 10:03 PM
Solace of Rain

Like the memory of a lover
your touch not forgotten,
yet that cold comfort
you once fondly offered
seems so far away
in this arid climate.

On sultry nights,
sleepless,
I yearn again
for your descent,
it is when your fingers
dance across my skin
I feel most alive.

Like a Solider's wife,
or a Summer love,
I must be made to wait
through countless agonies
before again you come
and wash it all away.

How I wish I could be
as the wind, and follow
you, living forever with your
clouds hovering above my head.

But then it would not be
so sweet when your
rivers run down the street
and I stand naked in the solitude
of Winter Nights.

Hawkman
09-07-2010, 04:03 AM
Hi Muse,

I love this poem celebrating the rain but you have a typo S2L4 which should read descent. I would also suggest that in S3L6 you alter ..."it all away." to "...them all away" as I assume you are refereing to the agonies (plural) mentioned in L4. But it's a great poem.

Best. H

Dark Muse
09-07-2010, 12:52 PM
Thank you!

hillwalker
09-07-2010, 01:52 PM
I too enjoyed this; verse 4 is the stand-out.

Skia
09-07-2010, 02:20 PM
I Loved that :)

hack
09-07-2010, 03:55 PM
It is good DM,
and so personal.
I feel that you
are speaking
to me...peace...

PrinceMyshkin
09-07-2010, 04:07 PM
Lovely, light touch of melancholy.

Delta40
09-07-2010, 05:58 PM
Muse you capture the essence of the human heart and spill droplets of it across your poetry

Dark Muse
09-07-2010, 07:15 PM
Thank you all!