Beguiled

[Jerrybaldy]

I yearn for you in each crack of light
you unleash into my day.
I feel far removed from all I do,
without your prescence.
You obssess me while
I do the everyday.
All around me doubt,
so I stay closer by your side.
I write that although we have never met,
I would die for you
and in Arial black it is true.
I type' grab your coat, you have pulled'
night after night
and that little smiley man,
becomes your face,
warm and laughing aloud
at your bleeding broadband lover.
We are one, in every way
but more, so more
than lovers who have met.
Flights are booked
a circle is put around the day.
Two days to go and we meet.

I walk a path from room to room
all through the night
and then sit moronic, insomniac
in an armchair, for three days.
Your imaginary friend
had announced your death
via e mail.
Your imaginary death.
As somewhere in your love
was a web of lies
I will never unveil.
We all let each other down in the end,
but ending never knowing,
Will haunt me all my days

[Delta40]

Oh Jerry,this is heartrending stuff and in light of recent events, i'm even more moved.

I especially love these lines

I write that although we have never met,
I would die for you
and in Arial black it is true.

[angliholic]

I'm moved by this touching piece of yours!
Jerry, you're second to none when it comes to romanticism!

Thanks for sharing!

[Jerrybaldy]

I am at the very very least second to yourself dear Ang :)

[PrinceMyshkin]

I don't much like "you erode into my day". What's romantic or positive about erosion? I hope you will change it for the sake of the rest of this very, very moving poem. It's an extraordinary reflection on the invitation to fantasize that's offered us via the internet, and the possibility that those fantasies might be punctured at any moment. Can you ever be sure that "she" really died? Or ever really existed?

Wonderful poem.

[Jerrybaldy]

Delta
I too enjoyed those lines the most. :)
happy to have moved Tuesdays child
stuck in monday
jerry

[dafydd manton]

Knowing a bit about each other, mate, this is an incredibly moving, sad and sorry tale, expressed beautifully. I can be done, though. It can. Thanks for sharing.

[Jerrybaldy]

You are quite right Prince, I hesitated over that line and eroded came from erosion on rocks giving way to cracks. It is changed.

It happened and I know she never died but as for who existed, I will never know.

[Jerrybaldy]

Thanks Daf, I did wonder if you would remember and you never let me down.

[Hawkman]

I seem to remember commenting to someone today that we never really know who's behind the avatar... A dangerous propensity to want to beleive what we read, to know that we matter to someone, to some other human being in this modern, fragmented, global gestalt composed of islolated cyber beings in attic rooms creating tenuous relationsips with ghosts.

A warning to us all, perhaps. Never forget that trust and communication between people is derrived from more than just words. Non verbal communication accounts for more than 60% of understanding from visual cues, expression and mutual knowlege obtained from mutual experience and a wider circle of freinds.

A poignant reminder JB, and forcefully expressed in a visceral voice.

Best, H

[PrinceMyshkin]

You are quite right Prince, I hesitated over that line and eroded came from erosion on rocks giving way to cracks. It is changed.

It happened and I know she never died but as for who existed, I will never know.

You know the old saying, I'm sure: "Old internet acquaintances never die, they just erode away."

[Haunted]

I was feeling the anticipation of a cyber fantasy come true:

Two days to go and we meet

then 5 lines down, my heart breaks to read:

Your imaginary friend
had announced your death
via e mail.

ahh, devastating.

Love the way you captured the fragility of a relationship built purely on the Arial Black typeface, it's far more intense because we can hold on to those special words, reading and re-reading them, until they fall off the edge of the cyberworld and take our hearts with them.

[hillwalker]

A very romantic piece, in the tradition of so many wonderful poems written about unrequited love, but given a clever contemporary touch by the subtle use of the modern terminology those of us who use the web know all too well. A heart-rending story but written in such a placid, accepting voice that it rings all the more true. Brilliant, jerr.

I'm just a bit unsure of the change in tense - the first, more powerful of the two verses, is written in present tense which gives an immediacy to the piece; then the second switching to past tense lends a distance that makes it less hard-hitting. Perhaps that was your intention.... anyway, that's just me being me.....

[Haunted]

now I'm reading it again, I totally misread it the first time!

since it's cybertalk, I should say, wtf... I thought she was dead, but its u! omg. Now I got it, beguiled...what was I thinking... this is so tragic and ever more romantic. A masterpiece there Jer. Love it more each time I read it.

[Jerrybaldy]

Hawk - thanks for your considered comment, as you said a warning to us all.
Prince - not sure I know that one ;)
Haunted one . thank you. You are quite right about the intensity being heightened by the holding on of the words.
Hill- Thank you. I have taken your advice and changed the second verse to present tense.

The poem is entirely autobiographical. It was before much was known or spoken about on line relationships. It was incredibly intense and turned out to be an intricate web of lies. It wasnt a scam as no money changed hands, but I am unable to ever get to the truth behind it.

Dedicated to Silky.
Yellowknife.

[angliholic]

I am at the very very least second to yourself dear Ang :)


Being modest is a virtue for the Chinese!
You're the man, Jerry!

[Haunted]

so sorry Jerry that it actually happened to you.

[Skia]

Tears are falling on my keyboard..

*Sniff*

[DieterM]

I'm deeply touched; while reading it for a first time, I felt every single line. I read it again and again, and I still love this poem! Thanks so much for sharing.

[Jerrybaldy]

Haunted - thanks, it was a bleak time and I can think of nothing good that came from it, but I was the sucker who bought it all.

Skia. Here have a tissue ;) thanks for reading and commenting.

DieterM. Thanks for your kind comments.

Jerry