Why do you choose to be anonymous on the forum (s)?

[blazeofglory]

I see most people choosing to be anonymous, and some even fear to disclose names even after intimacy? OK, it is interesting we chat with a pseudonym. But on request also some people are reluctant to disclose their names. I wonder why some people to disclose their names publicly. I myself have a pseudonym, but on request I am always there to reveal

[Maximilianus]

People online behave pretty much the same as they do offline. Of course, like in everything, we have exceptions and variations. In ancient cultures, like in medieval Japan, it was considered a high offense not to reveal your name. Back then and in such societies, people used to have a standard way of life, often ruled by a code of conduct. There was a clearer division between good and bad manners, so to speak. Today, it would seem that good and bad manners have found themselves a way to intertwine with each other. Nowadays, many people are reluctant to give their identities online approximately for the same reasons they are reluctant to do it in their offline activities. In general, most people resort to the security argument as a justification. The truth is that a few hide their names for fear of criminals, or cyber criminals, while others keep themselves in hiding because they have something (or a lot) to hide (maybe they are some sort of criminal themselves :p). In the first case, I don't think that telling just your name will represent a major risk. As long as you don't disclose your address, credit card or phone number to a stranger, you should be fine.

I still don't have any major skeleton in my closet, nor do I believe myself in danger just because of telling my name. Therefore, I tell my name upon polite request.

[dafydd manton]

Sorry, folks, I'm just me. Google-able, and in the cyber-flesh. (Not a pretty sight.) I have nothing to hide, so I don't hide it.

[Lokasenna]

The online universe allows one to choose a different name for yourself, possibly with some meaning. David is a fairly common name, and if you were to google my full name I wouldn't appear, but if you google Lokasenna, I appear as the fifteenth result. Score!

[qimissung]

I usually wait and let people tell me their name, such as when we PM and they put their real name instead of their pseudonym when they end the letter. Or I start things off by signing my real name as a sign of trust.

[OrphanPip]

If you google my name the top result used to be a music professor in Michigan, now it's a bad poet with a BFA.

Anyway, I don't hide my name. I don't really like my name though, but once, a girl in college told me it was the kind of name actors change theirs to. Which I kind of get, it rhymes and is easy to remember.

[papayahed]

Because I don't want some crazy person showing up on my doorstep with a bouquet of severed fingers because they liked one of my posts.

[LitNetIsGreat]

Because I don't want some crazy person showing up on my doorstep with a bouquet of severed fingers because they liked one of my posts.

Really Litnet is getting rough these days.

[ClaesGefvenberg]

I suppose I am part of the minority here: I use my own name, and it has been that way since the www took off.

/Claes

[The Comedian]

Neely mostly. There's no way I'm lettin' that guy know who I really am. . . ;)

[loe]

I think it is easier to be honest when nobody knows you personnally.
Of course, this includes the danger of misunderstandings as well (strangers don't know when something was ment ironically or something like that).

[TheFifthElement]

Because I don't trust you. I don't know who you really are. You. You know who I'm talking about.

Because I am lost without visual cues.

Because as soon as you reveal you're a woman on a forum you get 50 PMs like this:

I saw this (enter forum entry here) entry from you and was really impressed. You seem really nice. I am a 50 year old divorcee and I enjoy S&M. Do you?

Because if you say you're a 15 year old girl on the internet you get 100 PMs like this:

Hi, I'm Jack. I'm 15 years old. You seem really nice, I'd really like to get to know you. Can we be friends?
from the guy you got the last message from who was 50 and into S&M.

Because if you gave me your name it'd take me about 30 minutes to find who you are, who your family is, where you live, when you're in, when you're out, who your friends are, your phone number, your height, weight and hair colour, and perhaps a little bit longer to hack your e-mail and Facebook account and I have to assume that the reverse is true.


Because I don't want some crazy person showing up on my doorstep with a bouquet of severed fingers because they liked one of my posts.
Too true, too true :D

[Delta40]

It disturbs to me to think that some old guy is jerking off in a teenage chat room under the avatar Josh17. If I want my daughters to be safe as the world enters our home, then I am the one to set the example for them to follow.

[ClaesGefvenberg]

Because as soon as you reveal you're a woman on a forum you get 50 PMs like this:Yeah, I hear you. That is not a major problem when you happen to be a 50 year old bloke, of course.

I have other concerns: I always use my own name and state my age in forums in order to avoid being mistaken for someone fitting your above description. As a matter of fact, I find this particularly important in a forum like this one, with its predominantly young audience.

/Claes

[Maximilianus]

Let's see... everyone loves the Internet because it's the best means to know people from all the world, but all people from all the world are potential rippers or rapists and we don't give them our name just in case... so we know people but without the certainty of who they really are... so... it would seem we know no one at all... http://smiles.kolobok.us/standart/scratch_one-s_head.gif

So... to say that we use the Internet to know people sounds at least incoherent :out:

[Scheherazade]

For me, it is not about being secretive but simply choosing my friends carefully and how much to share with whom.

I am not close friends with every single person who works at my College or happens to use the same library as I do.

I do not shout out my name and other personal information as soon as I enter, say, a restaurant and start showing other patrons who sit nearby the photos of myself and my last holiday.

And I am not sure why we are expected to do so on the internet.

Once I get to know someone and decide that I would like to be friends with them, sure, I would not mind sharing more information. There are some people even on this very Forum who have seen my photo, I tell ya!

[TheFifthElement]

So... to say that we use the Internet to know people sounds at least incoherent :out:

That may be your motivation for using the internet, but it isn't mine. I think it is extremely difficult to make a true friendship via the internet. At some point you have to meet the person and then it isn't an internet friendship anymore, it is an actual friendship. And that's not to say that you can't be friendly with someone and you can't enjoy having conversations with someone on the internet, but then you never really know who they are until you meet them. A significant proportion of communication is down to body language, tone and other non-verbal cues. When you meet someone in person you can pick up on that. It's totally lost on the internet.

Personally I use the internet because it's there. Apart from that, it's a good place for sharing ideas and thoughts and for having a good discussion.



I have other concerns: I always use my own name and state my age in forums in order to avoid being mistaken for someone fitting your above description. As a matter of fact, I find this particularly important in a forum like this one, with its predominantly young audience.
/Claes
Claes, that makes total sense. It's interesting, actually, to see how there is clearly a different experience between men and women on the forums. However, how do I know you're reallya 50 year old man and not a young woman pretending to be a man to avoid getting those annoying PMs ;)


For me, it is not about being secretive but simply choosing my friends carefully and how much to share with whom.

I am not close friends with every single person who works at my College or happens to use the same library as I do.

I do not shout out my name and other personal information as soon as I enter, say, a restaurant and start showing other patrons who sit nearby the photos of myself and my last holiday.

And I am not sure why we are expected to do so on the internet.

This makes a lot of sense Scher. I agree.

[hoope]

In my opinion .. i think that the only thing that is anonymous is your beauty or how you look like ....
Your words and your comments and infact everything you type gives a clear image of your personaity . Being online is sometimes about getting near to people thoughts and to know them.. when we in real find it hard to be so social .. for it wont' harm online if you said your real name. Or for instance shared ( not everything in ur life ) but some simple infomation for the others to know you ( where you work .. how old are you ) i don't think that such information are that confidential !!!!!

Everyone is unique inside .. why are trying to hide that part of you....
Not everyone online is honest .. and when it comes to the point that your faking yourself.. i guess you should back off !

People who moslty try to be anonymous - could be they are making another perosnality others than theres - or they just find it hard to just make online friends...

whatevaa .. its just how i see it .. not necessarily to be right .

[The Comedian]

I'm more or less with Scher on this one -- But I don't mind giving out a little personal information on the forum -- things like favorite author, occupation. . .but I don't give too much credence to this profile information.

And I, guess, I sort of like a real profile picture. I mean our image is what we always publish to strangers in real life. Most strangers know what I look like, but only a select few know that my heart belongs to Walden. . . . ;) .

[LitNetIsGreat]

Once I get to know someone and decide that I would like to be friends with them, sure, I would not mind sharing more information. There are some people even on this very Forum who have seen my photo, I tell ya!

No way!!! :eek2:

I don't share my photo because I am far too attractive and don't want women hassling me all the time. :ihih:

I agree with Scher though, you don't go around sharing everything with everybody it's just not normal - which is why I don't go in for this whole Facebook thing.

[Abras]

Yesterday on Jerry Springer they had on this guy who had decided to meet up with this "good looking girl" he had talked to online. She turned out to be a guy, but he went for it anyway. Today, I can only assume the two are happily married with two kids...

What's the moral of this story?
(and for that matter, Mr. Abras, what's the relevance?)

[Emil Miller]

No way!!! :eek2: I don't want women hassling me all the time. :ihih:.


Stop lying Neely!

[OrphanPip]

I agree with Scher though, you don't go around sharing everything with everybody it's just not normal - which is why I don't go in for this whole Facebook thing.

I've ended up in this horrible middle ground with Facebook, I only got it because my ex wanted me to look at some pictures on his Facebook. But I made the mistake of putting my actual education information up there, so of course FB recommended me as a friend to people I went to high school with.

I try only to accept friend requests and never send them out, this has let me keep my FB friends list below 100. My coworkers at least have failed to discover me on there.

I'm more of an IM junkie, I have a large expansive msn list, I don't remember who half the people on it are.

[Emil Miller]

Because I don't want some crazy person showing up on my doorstep with a bouquet of severed fingers because they liked one of my posts.

Oh dear! Just when I was preparing the bouquet.

[papayahed]

Oh dear! Just when I was preparing the bouquet.

Darn it! I always speak to soon!!

[SilentMute]

Oddly enough, I don't worry too much about people hunting me down and finding me. I know there are weird people on the internet, but it seems pretty easy to get away from them. I have a Facebook page, and I have some photos of myself. I also show photos of my interests. It actually has been a good thing for me because I'm going into medical coding, and professional coders have started networking with me. Finding me on Facebook if you know my name can still be challenging. There are 500 Jessica Grays on Facebook. I usually have to send links to my friends when they ask for my Facebook page.

Why do I choose to go under the name SilentMute on LitNet? Because there are 500 Jessica Grays on Facebook, for one thing. I reckon there are not as many people known as SilentMute.

Avatars and names are not exactly "anonymous". They can reveal a lot about ourselves. You could assume three things about my avatar: one, I like "V" the old series; two, I think Jane Badler is beautiful and Diana, whom she played, is my favorite character; and three, more than likely I was around in the eighties when this miniseries came out. You would be correct on all three assumptions. My name is maybe more complicated--but I love silence, I believe that being quiet can help you reach enlightenment...even though I'm not always as quiet as my name suggests.

I think sometimes our names and avatars reveal what we want to reveal about ourselves, that sometimes gets hidden by our real pictures and names. For instance, I know one gentleman on one of my forums who is incredibly charming and amusing--someone you could fall in love with. He is uglier than a hen's arse when you see his real picture on Facebook. Not only that, it is hard to believe he is so charming...because he looks like somebody who would talk for two hours about why he needs to buy a specific brand of underwear at a specific Kmart. How many people ever get past his looks and probably an ordinary name to ever realize what a funny, smart fellow he is?

I consider true anonymity on a forum to be when you don't sign in and are just a "guest"...or you select the "be shown offline" feature. I do this when I don't feel like talking (usually on forums that have livechats). Recently, I got a marriage proposal on one of my forums from a guy I had talked to twice. I thought he was joking...he wasn't. I tried to refuse gently, but he doesn't understand why I don't want to marry him. Aside from the fact that I don't know him very well, he lives in Pakistan. I'm not planning on going to Pakistan. He isn't coming to the States. I don't see much of a future in this relationship. Anyway, I got so stressed out--because I don't want to hurt his feelings, and yet he can't seem to understand what I consider to be very practical points--that I now visit the forum as a guest or select the "offline" feature. It does amaze me how many people really believe you can have a relationship online. I know it can feel very intimate--but I don't even visit people that live in my state...and most people I talk to are in other countries.

[ClaesGefvenberg]

Claes, that makes total sense. It's interesting, actually, to see how there is clearly a different experience between men and women on the forums.I agree. It could hardly be more different. As I indicated, us blokes have our problems too:

For a while I had a problem with someone stalking me: As soon as I got online I was under attack. The firewall would start beeping, telling me that someone was trying to break in. As it turned out, it was a 13 yo U.S. kid who was thoroughly peeved because I hat clobbered his bottom in an online flight simulator game! He was not as clever as he thought, though. It was not particularly hard for me to track him down. (I always wondered what his parents had to say when their Internet Service Provider shut them down).


However, how do I know you're reallya 50 year old man and not a young woman pretending to be a man to avoid getting those annoying PMs ;)Quite right: You don't. On the other hand there is the problem with the deluge of Russian broads wishing to "establish a loving relationship". :icon_bs: Oh yes, blokes get pestered too, but in our case it is mostly the wallet (feeble as it it) that is found interesting.


I don't share my photo because I am far too attractive and don't want women hassling me all the time. :ihih:I know what you mean... It's hard to keep them at bay. Use a broom. :ihih:

/Claes

[JuniperWoolf]

I'm pretty open on the forums. The way I figure it, people see me every day. When they're seeing me, the know where I am (I'm where I am when they're seeing me). If some creep is going to do something creepy, there are ample oppurtunities every day for them to do so. The percentage of people that I meet online who are likely to be crazy must be about as much as the percentage of people that I meet in real life, online people are just a lot farther away. If someone's going to chop me up into little pieces, it'll be someone that I meet on the bus, not on litnet.

Plus I have this idea where I think I can handle creepy people pretty well. Whether it's true or not, I'm still not afraid of them.

And, I don't have anything to hide. The details of my life aren't that interesting.

[dafydd manton]

I'd go along with that, which is one reason why I'm not that bothered about using my own name. Like JuniperWoolf, I don;t imagine for one second that I'm interesting enough to stalk. If you wish too, please fill out the application form......

I can,however, understand why many women are careful about using their own names. Sadly, even on Litnet, there have been instances of unpleasant "stalking" behaviour, and even more sadly, in the very recent past. What a crying shame, that the one place many of us come to escape, and we even have to be on our guard here.

[Emil Miller]

I'd go along with that, which is one reason why I'm not that bothered about using my own name. Like JuniperWoolf, I don;t imagine for one second that I'm interesting enough to stalk. If you wish too, please fill out the application form.......

This raises the question of sexual harassment of men by women. Some years ago, in discussing with a colleague women being harassed in the workplace by men, he told of a case where he'd been attending a seminar where one of the men was constantly propositioned by a woman delegate until he angrily told her that he already had a girlfriend and wasn't interested. I laughed and said it seemed most unlikely to have been an issue for genuine concern. He replied: "Well what would you have done ?"
I said: "I would have given her a jolly good rogering and sent her on her way." You should have seen his face.

[dafydd manton]

I seem to have reached that age where sexual harassment is but a distant memory, and then probably fictitious.....

[Morden]

I came to the internet some years ago with generally optimistic expectations for friendly book discussions, but I didn't realize how nasty and determined some troublemakers could be. It is since then that I have learned that even using different names on different forums was insufficient protection against being followed and hounded by others. So, now I am Morden here, and only Morden, and only here -- with fingers crossed for the future.

My advice would be to take personal security seriously.

[Emil Miller]

I came to the internet some years ago with generally optimistic expectations for friendly book discussions, but I didn't realize how nasty and determined some troublemakers could be. It is since then that I have learned that even using different names on different forums was insufficient protection against being followed and hounded by others. So, now I am Morden here, and only Morden, and only here -- with fingers crossed for the future.

My advice would be to take personal security seriously.

I would agree to some extent, depending on the particular website you are on. Personally, I don't bother with other forums as this one already takes up more than enough time as it is. However, the thing that distinguishes it from some other sites is that politics is not allowed and the discussions are relatively anodyne. I do post occasionally on MSN and in that instance I have found it useful to use a pseudonym as the arguments do get quite violent sometimes. In certain instances, I prefer the gloves off approach in politics to skating around the issue concerned, but not beyond the stage where the original point at issue is lost in a miasma of petty insults.

[Morden]

In certain instances, I prefer the gloves off approach in politics to skating around the issue concerned, but not beyond the stage where the original point at issue is lost in a miasma of petty insults.

Politics and religion are not my cup of tea for discussion so I avoid them. I draw the line at personal insults. Many people, when they disagree with a post on the topic, respond with a personal attack instead of posting a disagreeing point of view. The phrase ad hominem seems never to be heard anymore for describing prohibited behavior.
But then again, the bullies say I have thin skin -- their definition.
So I try to stay away, and walk away, from firestorms. I come to the web for enjoyment, and life is too short as it is.