jeans

[Delta40]

Sheila loved her
black skinny leg jeans
her mammy said
she looked good
Da spluttered and
dropped his smoking pipe
the dog was burnt
by a shower of embers
he yelped then shot out of the
stale, tobacco filled room

Scratched, tatty furniture
drooped tiredly
against peeling floral paper
pasted on two families ago
The tv was so old
the volume was dying
and there was a white light
in the middle of the screen
Sheila twirled in the centre
of the room

The suns bright beams
were blocked by
heavy velvet curtains
her wan look sought warmth
yet suited the dark home
she grew like a flowering plan
Her fingers splayed
as she spun round

Sheila flicked the vase
on the sideboard
It flew with her
for a mere second
then shattered against the wall
next to Da's old chair
the newspaper lay scattered
The dog bolted again
Da spluttered and coughed
what he thought
about Sheila
and her black skinny leg jeans

[dafydd manton]

What a fantastic portrayal of old-fashioned parents who still lived in the past. Let the poor girl grow up! Let her enjoy life, not some repressed lino-clad Saturday-night-in -secret existence! She probably looked fantastic, and the father hated that, because his "bride" was frumpy, curler-clad, repressed, plain, surrendering all femininity...... I love this for the ascerbity alone.

[dafydd manton]

I've just realised, it must be "crack of sparrows" where you are. How do you think of these things first thing in the morning?

[Delta40]

I'm only inspired for 30mins in a day and it just happens when I get up. don't talk to me - my creative juice has dried up again till tomorrow.

[Jerrybaldy]

A domestic deltaesque (sorry) tale. Reminded me of what were once referred to as kitchen sink dramas and probably still are.
A slice of life.
The suns bright beams
were blocked by
heavy velvet curtains
seemed to sum it up.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Delightfully sordid or sordidly delightful. Either way, it was a vivid scene...and I got a rise out of those black skinny jeans!

[hillwalker]

A kitchen-sink drama vividly brought to life - all it needed was John Mills, Peggy Mount and some hot 1960's nymphet to play the starring roles.

[Hawkman]

I have read this several times and I find the picture you have painted to be both vivid, and for some reason, poignant. Reading it feels like being in a time-warp. A very effective piece of Verse Libre. Definately has a 60's feel.

Best, H

[Delta40]

thanks everyone. it was a whim thing

[JackieGinger]

This poem makes me want to see that place.
My favorite lines are "The tv was so old / the volume was dying".
And I also love how you've managed the ending. It is so careless yet so powerful!

[Haunted]

Animated, zany. Very fun to read and "see": This poem can be made into a commercial, and the voiceover cuts in at the end:
Annoy your parents. Wear skinny jeans.

[Delta40]

Animated, zany.
I can see this poem made into a commercial, and the voice cuts in at the end:
Annoy your parents. Wear skinny jeans.

thanks Haunted. actually, I am surprised at the images it has conjured up for people. I didn't really think of a period in time when I wrote it although I was feeling the need to escape from my everyday humdrum life.... :ihih:

[Haunted]

thanks Haunted. actually, I am surprised at the images it has conjured up for people. I didn't really think of a period in time when I wrote it although I was feeling the need to escape from my everyday humdrum life.... :ihih:

humdrum life maybe, but one exciting poem. Pipe smoking dad and a smoking dog in a room reeking of decor disaster. Just make sure those skinny jeans never go out of style!

[Delta40]

lol. you know, the decor is pretty bad....

[Haunted]

time to call in the Extreme Home Makeover team! You got those shows in Oz Land?

[Delta40]

oh yeah....where shall ty start?

[Haunted]

maybe the old tv with the white light in the middle of the screen... replace that with a 60' plasma so the whole neighborhood can watch their show while they yank down the heavy drapes...

[Haunted]

just thought of something else...those heavy velvet drapes, we can make jeans out of them, we call them Extreme Makeover skinny jeans and sell them for big bucks on Litnet. The nice double entendre will be a hit.

[Delta40]

you do know they're purple velvet and that there is enough material to make a matching jacket with mega lapels?

[Haunted]

I think you just designed an outfit fit for a pimp. I see a new poem forming...

[Delta40]

let me think about it while I am at work....

[Haunted]

maybe you should just call in sick tomorrow...poetry can't wait. Oh wait, it's already tomorrow. The purple velvet is making me delusional.

[dafydd manton]

D'you know, I've just been thinking about a new suit for job interviews and the like. Sounds good to me, suit me down to the ground. Obviously, pearl buttons, single-breasted, lapels big enough to land a helicopter on..... big button hole for the daffodil, oh, and flares. please. To go with the canary yellow sneakers. Who do I send the measurements to? You wont need much for the height, but quite a bit for the width.

Just thought of a name for the business - Helga and Daunted, not quite D&G, I admit, but it's got a certain something - multi-cultural, esoteric, a bit of..... what's the French for "je ne sais quoi"?

[Haunted]

LMAO

multi-cultural? I was so expecting you to say multi dimensional :D

[dafydd manton]

Oh, and a bit of that as well. Maybe even multi-functional. In your professional opinion, would it go well with the scarlet snap-brim fedora, or should I stick with the Panama? You know the one, with the Marylebone Cricket Club hat-band. And what colour should I dye the hair. Wig, then.

[Delta40]

and we'll call you Zorro (in welsh of course)

[dafydd manton]

Sorry, Kiddo, no Z in Welsh!!!

[Delta40]

Eeh Dorro?

[dafydd manton]

As they say where I currently live "Tha wot, luv? Wot's tha on abaht?"

[Delta40]

nowt lad, nowt.

[dafydd manton]

'Appen, lass!