Wedding Belle

[Hawkman]

The orange bride, enamelled
(and apparently enamoured)
with her multi-fathered children
crowding round her feet, wears white.

And although this is the first time
she has worn that special gown,
at eight hundred pounds,
she may chose to reuse,
in a year or two,
for next time round.

She needs her camouflage monogamy,
a façade of temporary honesty,
all reflected in the sparkle of her
hard and gleaming smile;
for her lashes aren’t her own,
nor her nails or her tan,
they’re all applied externally
like armour for a fight.

I wonder if this union will
even last the night.

[dafydd manton]

Hawk, your elegant cynicism and jaundiced view of this kind of charade has made me feel better on a rubbish morning. Thanks so much. (By the way, I've been to a couple of those, in the past.)

[Hawkman]

Hi Dafydd,

I have attended far too many! I think I will do a series on weddings. I have only had a go at brides here but I wanted to cover the whole event, grooms, families, friends and even the institution and ceremonies, civil and religious, but for the sake of brevity and that this poem wanted to end where it did I have confined it to the primary element :D

Glad it cheered you up old chum :D

Best, H

[hillwalker]

Brilliant depiction of 'glam' here, Hawk. It's often the case - the more money spent on making the big day 'unforgettable' or 'magical', the sooner it all ends up in divorce.

[dafydd manton]

Frrankly, with weddings like that, I'd only go for the freebie slice of cake!

[angliholic]

What a terrible and horrible wedding bride!
Who will be the lucky groom anyway?

[PrinceMyshkin]

"at eight hundred pounds"

Was that her weight or the cost of her wedding dress?!

Wonderful bit of cynical whimsy!

[aliengirl]

"for her lashes aren’t her own,
nor her nails or her tan,
they’re all applied externally
like armour for a fight."

This reminds me of Belinda of Rape of the Lock.
Loved your satirical work!

[Delta40]

by god - with cynicism like this, nobody stands a chance! very well written Hawk

[dafydd manton]

Can't you just see the blonde hair, what we call a Suicide Blonde - dyed byr her own hand - the horrible, repulsive overly-white long limo with grotty looking driver in a peaked cap, cheap champagne in plastic "glasses", rust hidden by cheap paint, the expensive dress but cheap face, the cosmetic "pretty-pretty" of it all, hiding spots, flaws, scars, tattoes.... and rust!

Beautifully portrayed, Hawk.

[Hawkman]

Brilliant depiction of 'glam' here, Hawk. It's often the case - the more money spent on making the big day 'unforgettable' or 'magical', the sooner it all ends up in divorce.

I met one of the brides whose wedding I had filmed yesterday, wilst filming her friend's wedding. She had been divorced within 2 years and was now living with someone else.


What a terrible and horrible wedding bride!
Who will be the lucky groom anyway?

Someone equally deserving, no doubt :D


"at eight hundred pounds"

Was that her weight or the cost of her wedding dress?!

Wonderful bit of cynical whimsy!

Hi Prince, Although I have been required to attend the wedding of a spherical bride, I doubt if even she quite tipped the scales at 800lbs :D Whimsy? There is more observation and repotage in this poem than perhaps anyone would care to admit!


"for her lashes aren’t her own,
nor her nails or her tan,
they’re all applied externally
like armour for a fight."

This reminds me of Belinda of Rape of the Lock.
Loved your satirical work!

Thanks, aliengirl. There is a feast of material in the wedding industry, enough to supply my pen with ink almost indefinately, or perhaps just keep my keyboard hot! :D Glad you enjoyed it.


by god - with cynicism like this, nobody stands a chance! very well written Hawk

D40, I'm suffering from working-class wedding fatigue! It's not that middle class weddings are really any more successful, just that they have more style (and a veneer of respectability) There is usually less drunken swearing and the relations don't tend to start fights at the reception. :D


Can't you just see the blonde hair, what we call a Suicide Blonde - dyed byr her own hand - the horrible, repulsive overly-white long limo with grotty looking driver in a peaked cap, cheap champagne in plastic "glasses", rust hidden by cheap paint, the expensive dress but cheap face, the cosmetic "pretty-pretty" of it all, hiding spots, flaws, scars, tattoes.... and rust!

Beautifully portrayed, Hawk.

Dafydd, sadly, modern wedding cakes are usually sorry sponge sandwiches under a facade of fancy decoration. Is the making of a proper fruit cake a dying art?

Actually, the hair is usually lacquered to within a micron of varnishing and dyed in various hues of mahogany or red (with highlights). The blonde ones I get are usually natural, judging from the eyebrows. Everything else in your description rings true enough, though.

Thank you all for reading and commenting.

Live long and prosper, H

[Delta40]

my mother used to look at me when I got up in the morning, laugh and say 'pick your bride in the morning'. reading this poem, I'm never getting married and if I do, nobody is invited!

[dafydd manton]

Jerry will be heart-broken - I'm sure he has secret yearnings, although it did involve the bald wig of another thread!

[Jerrybaldy]

Very funny and recognisable Hawk.
Im not responding to Daffy, I have found it only encourages him. Infact I have said too much already, dragons shmagons.

[dafydd manton]

How dare you, how very dare you call Delta a dragon? You cad, Sir! She is an angel of Antipodean Light!

[Hawkman]

Delta, I'm sure I've read that before somewhere... :D

JB, thanks and I agree :D but I find he requires no encouragement. See what I mean?

[Delta40]

How dare you, how very dare you call Delta a dragon? You cad, Sir! She is an angel of Antipodean Light!



snorts Daffy and Jerry out through one nostril. Read my Smiling Dragons short story at your leisure....

[dafydd manton]

Delta, my dear (Be I ever so 'umble, wrings hands with horrible crackling noise), I was siding with you!!! An Angel of Antipodean Light! (The Auntie Poades, its down your way somewhere, they serve Fosters and barbecues, and have corks hanging off their hats), I am deeply wounded. Indeed, I am off for another of my world-famous sulks. (Exits stage left pursued by a black cloud)

[Hawkman]

Whilst I am happy for everyon to read and comment on my poem, I would be grateful if you would confine your private conversations to your own threads.

[Delta40]

No problem Hawk.

[dafydd manton]

R ar.