all my own work

[Jerrybaldy]

this poem came to me in a recent dream. I thought I was going doo LALLy when I came up with it but I can assure you litnetters that is all my own work and if Delta protesteth then the lady protseteth too much as its mine, honest it is. if you dont believe me ask doo LALLys son.


winter in australia is cold
the beach is cloaked in fog
as the concrete factory
down the road
dredges up the ocean base
I paddle in the dark mist
of melting ice caps
plastic bags
and tonnes of
unrecognizable shell grit

[Delta40]

know that feeling so well. You tapped into a universal. I agree with Prince, you sit and write, like talking, able to phrase the whole thing straight from mind to screen. natural.

[Jerrybaldy]

That was powerfully written, words with real weight. If respect is possible in cyberspace, I have it for you. It's often especially moving to me when a poet, such as you did here, states his or her case boldly, without adornments or milking the conceit. A moving and graceful poem.

[Delta40]

I love your perspective here. You have a magic way with words and still retain a rough edge.

[Haunted]

know that feeling so well. You tapped into a universal. I agree with Prince, you sit and write, like talking, able to phrase the whole thing straight from mind to screen. natural.

[Delta40]

what do you think of my english version of Jerry's poem? Don't you think it embraces the unique British landscape just like his captures the Aussie landscape?

winter in england is cold
the beach is cloaked in fog
as the concrete factory
down the road
dredges up the ocean base
I paddle in the dark mist
of melting ice caps
plastic bags
and tonnes of
unrecognizable shell grit

[Haunted]

brilliant Delta!

what do you think of my US version of Jerry's poem? Don't you think it embraces the unique American landscape just like his captures the American landscape?

winter in America is cold
the beach is cloaked in fog
as the concrete factory
down the road
dredges up the ocean base
I paddle in the dark mist
of melting ice caps
plastic bags
and tonnes of
unrecognizable shell grit

[tailor STATELY]

Déjà vu. (scratches head)

[Delta40]

Haunted, that was powerfully written, words with real weight. If respect is possible in cyberspace, I have it for you. It's often especially moving to me when a poet, such as you did here, states his or her case boldly, without adornments or milking the conceit. A moving and graceful poem.

[Haunted]

Déjà vu. (scratches head)

[Delta40]

I have read that before at an amazingly multidimensional level.

[Haunted]

It's multi dimensional, Delta, space, no hyphen. Don't you know how to use the copy & paste feature on your computer?! geezzz

[Delta40]

cut and paste??? me??? how very dare you!

[dafydd manton]

Sorry, I am not that good with computers, could somebody explain what "Cut & Paste means. Thank you. As regards your work, Jerry: That was powerfully written, words with real weight. If respect is possible in cyberspace, I have it for you. It's often especially moving to me when a poet, such as you did here, states his or her case boldly, without adornments or milking the conceit. A moving and graceful poem.

[dafydd manton]

That was powerfully written, words with real weight. If respect is possible in cyberspace, I have it for you. It's often especially moving to me when a poet, such as you did here, states his or her case boldly, without adornments or milking the conceit. A moving and graceful poem.
__________________
"Each man has his price, usually ten Bob"

[dafydd manton]

I hope nobody minds, but I have written a poem about Wales. Here it is.


Winter in Wales is cold
the beach is cloaked in fog
as the concrete factory And the coal mine)
down the road
dredges up the ocean base
I paddle in the dark mist
of melting ice caps
plastic bags
and tonnes of
unrecognizable shell grit

[Delta40]

I hope nobody minds, but I have written a poem about the Sahara Desert. Here it is.


Winter in the Sahara Desert is cold
the dunes are cloaked in fog
as the camels
down the road
dredges up the oasis base
I sail in the dark mist
of melting plastic bags
and tonnes of
unrecognizable sand grit

[Haunted]

Delta, I hate to criticize someone's work but that's not going to fly. Ain't no winter in the Sahara.

I hope nobody minds, but I have written a poem about Mars. Here it is.


Winter in Mars is cold
the dunes are cloaked in fog
icecream factory
down the road
dredges up the ocean base
I paddle in the dark mist
of melting ice caps
plastic bags
and tonnes of
unrecognizable shell grit

[PrinceMyshkin]

winter in australia is cold
the beach is cloaked in fog
as the concrete factory
down the road
dredges up the ocean base
I paddle in the dark mist
of melting ice caps
plastic bags
and tonnes of
unrecognizable shell grit

It's beautiful, Dude - what else is there to say: vivid and beautiful!

But may I ask why several of you are quoting the same response, part Jerrybaldy's, part mine, that Lallison copy-pasted and offered to two or more other poems?

[Haunted]

Sorry, I am not that good with computers, could somebody explain what "Cut & Paste means. Thank you.

I'm busy scrubbing the toilet bowl, why don't you go ask whats-his-face.

[dafydd manton]

Sorry, missed that, I couldn't see you for the low-flying Toilet Duck!! Old wotsizface didn't know, he just repeated something, but I missed what it was. May have been Keats, although he may not know what a Keat is!!

Happy flushing!

[hillwalker]

The originality here is astounding - immense kudos to all concerned.

[dafydd manton]

Kudos? Wasn't that a washing-up liquid?

[hillwalker]

It's a matter of interpretation. When a response is well-crafted it can be reinterpreted on a number of levels. On one level it can be read as a demand you all wash your mouths out, but on another...... oh, forget it. My brain's starting to hurt.

[dafydd manton]

Hill, you are the Coefficient of Cool, an original phrase I just thought up.

[hillwalker]

Now that's taking liberties, boyo. Time to get my PR man, Max Clifford, involved I'm afraid.

[dafydd manton]

Maddeuwch i mi!!!

[hillwalker]

Mi wnaf.

Max, down boy!

[dafydd manton]

Beth mae'r y gair "grovel" yn Cymraeg?

[hillwalker]

Beth yw'r gair 'grovel' yn Gymraeg? - even

..... 'ymlusgo' for what it's worth. Not a word we use that often, mind you. It has certain reptilian connotations (to crawl on the belly - literally). Good trick if you can still do it.

[dafydd manton]

Perhaps I won't then! Thanks - all part of my education. Off to Wales in 5 weeks!!

[hillwalker]

Give it my regards - Anglesey?

[dafydd manton]

Yes, Brynsiencyn. Usually go to the North, because I can't understand Southern Welsh. Went to Llanelli last year, couldn't understand a word!

[hillwalker]

That's why they have to put sub-titles on 'Pobol y Cwm' - it's not just for the English viewers.

'Ti moin teisen? Sounds more like Mandarin than Welsh.

[dafydd manton]

Wouldn't you just love to hear a Chinaman trying to say Llaneilian!

[hillwalker]

or better still Rhosllanerchrugog or Clogwyn-Llechwedd-Llo - they're hard enough for us to get our tongues around

[dafydd manton]

Rhosllanerchrugog - the only thing you can say in its favour is that it isn't actually Wrexham!

[hillwalker]

A bit like saying Penmaenmawr's better than Rhyl!

[dafydd manton]

Anywhere is better than Rhyl!!!! Including Beirut! Anyway, the Penmaenmawr tunnels are very attractive!

[hillwalker]

Aren't they just..... gives the term 'holiday resort' a whole new meaning.

Every hotel has a sea view, but getting anywhere close to the sea is a different matter.

And I pity the poor sods who live up in those terraces right under the old quarry face - they employ Sherpas to deliver the milk and post there apparently.

[dafydd manton]

And yet, just a few yards away is Llanfairfechan. Spent a week there in a beautiful house designed by some top architect whose name has completey slipped the aged brain.

[hillwalker]

Yes, a lovely setting (though again some of them hills take a bit of getting used to).

Clough Williams-Ellis was it? I know he designed Portmeirion and the original Snowdon cafe amongst other local notable buildings.

[dafydd manton]

I had to Google it! Herbert North.

[hillwalker]

Had to google it myself to learn more - Herbert Luck North (catchy name or what).

[dafydd manton]

Great architect, though. The place we were in had been the gamekeeper's cottage, and the main house is incredible. All on a Stellar theme, with a crystal hanging in the hall that the sunlight hits at exactly noon. Brilliant, although I wouldn't necessarily want to live in it permanently.

[Haunted]

Great architect, though.

The place
we were in
had been
the gamekeeper
's cottage,
and the main house
is incredible.
All on a Stellar theme,
with a crystal
hanging
in the hall
that the sunlight
hits
at exact
ly noon.
Brilliant,
although I would
n't necessarily
want to live in it
permanently.

[JackieGinger]

Interesting choice of enjambments here are they the word-ly representation of the refraction of light?

[Scheherazade]

~

Please deal with your personal differences through PMs.

If you issues with another member, please report them or their posts.

On a different and as equally important note, if you are not ready to receive negative feedback

-as well as positive-

you might like to reconsider your decision to share your views and/or artistic work with others on a public forum.
~