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Jerrybaldy
09-02-2010, 06:10 PM
I sure made a mess of that carpet.
I told Leonard I hated it, when he layed it.
Bloody awful paisley print.
I was grateful though
that he should go to such bother.
But it all went quiet again after he left.
So I listened to the children outside playing
and drank sherry from a plastic cup.
I was still a lady though
and I blew frothy kisses at the old hag,
who looked back as I cleaned my teeth.
I danced in my slippers on some afternoons
with that picture of you, Will, in my arms
my cigarette ash all down my cardie,
the sherry caressing my smoke dry throat.
People sometimes smiled as I headed to the shops
like I should be so damn grateful
and I would remember how I used to smile
at the elderly to make their day.
I hated that flat and that carpet
and when I fell to the floor,
quite dead whilst dancing
I brought that place to life.
Nobody knocked my door.
But my body lived again
over passing days,
impregnated with maggots
writhing within me,
devouring me like lovers long ago.
Oozing black
like long dead ejaculations,
giving birth to a hoard of flies,
buzzing about this quiet little flat.
All my little babies
blackening the air.
I decomposed into that bloody
paisley print.
When two weeks later
the smell reached the outside world
they burst in the door
and a thousand flies
flew free
each one a little part of me.

dafydd manton
09-02-2010, 06:13 PM
That is SO dark, but unfortunately it is a part of life for the old and lonely. It's a rubbish world, isn't it, where somebody can die, and nobody notices for weeks. Thanks for a very thought-provoking piece, Jer!

Delta40
09-02-2010, 06:13 PM
Oooh Jerry. this is a masterpiece. you built the character with such strong imagery and then destroyed her in a way that leaves me utterly silent....truth, bare, stark, ugly and boy does it smell....

PrinceMyshkin
09-02-2010, 08:52 PM
What can I say beyond what the two who preceded me said? It's a bolt from the blue, a strange, very original piece - and it stings! Bravo.

hillwalker
09-03-2010, 03:50 AM
A deftly drawn nightmare, Jer.... and all the more effective for its matter of fact tone

Haunted
09-03-2010, 10:45 AM
*gasp* horrible and so tragic. This actually happened to one of my old neighbors, even though she didn't drink sherry from a plastic cup, I'm sure of that. But it is little details like this that distinguish you as a superlative storyteller. By narrating with a voice from the dead I'm left speechless at the reality of how wretched and lonely death can be. Thanks for such a thought provoking piece.

Delta40
09-03-2010, 05:18 PM
I believe approx 12000 people in UK go undiscovered for more than a week each year.

dafydd manton
09-03-2010, 05:20 PM
We are no longer a close-knit society, unfortunately. I just hope it never happens to me. It won't bother me, what with being dead and all, but I'd hate somebody having to lift this decomposing thing in to a box. Slushy!! Must lose weight!

Delta40
09-03-2010, 06:18 PM
you have plenty of thyme, Herb
the old granulated garlic
sprinkled around you
and Basil
will preserve your dignity

dafydd manton
09-03-2010, 06:25 PM
you have plenty of thyme, Herb
the old granulated garlic
sprinkled around you
and Basil
will preserve your dignity

You on the right thread here, Delta? :rofl:

Jerrybaldy
09-03-2010, 06:32 PM
lmao .

Delta40
09-03-2010, 08:29 PM
anywhere i see a quirky bloke is the right place

dafydd manton
09-04-2010, 06:49 AM
Jerry - Delta's talking about you. Call Matron!