Void.

[dafydd manton]

I hardly got to speak to you, today.
The word "Void" keeps on coming
Into the space I call my mind.
That space was empty today,
Empty of you.
I couldn't think straight,
I couldn't work.
I was utterly helpless.
We would never take a goldfish
Out of the water.
Yet, we do it to ourselves.
Can't breathe
Can't think
Can't tell anyone
Can't do
Anything.
I sit and gasp, airless,
Unable to act.
Flapping around aimlessly
On the shore that is you.
I tried to write my diary.
And all I could come up with was
Blank.

[Jerrybaldy]

Your romanticism expands with your waistline dear Daffy. (I had to have at least one reference, forgive me)
Well captured. I remember it well.

[dafydd manton]

Thanks Jerry. Rough, innit?

[angliholic]

Very sadly sweet, romantic and seriously homesick beyond all medicine!
I like this piece!

[dafydd manton]

Thanks, Ang. It's not been a great day!! Tomorrow may be better!! Your comments are always appreciated.

[Delta40]

the silence speaks volumes Daffy!

[dafydd manton]

Thanks, Delta!

[hillwalker]

A touch of melancholy never did anyone any harm, and you have perfectly captured the mood. My advice..... chuck the diary.

[Hawkman]

Well, the short staccato lines are certainly effective in conveying the impression of breathlessness. But I do have a problem with the ending. It's that one syllable word on it's own line: "and all I could come up with was blank." (Not sure about that) I would have liked a more elegent denument, but that's just me.

[dafydd manton]

You could be right, Hill!! (Actually, I never ever kept one. I'll post the story of me and diary keeping on Short Stories one day, when I can locate it!!)


Well, the short staccato lines are certainly effective in conveying the impression of breathlessness. But I do have a problem with the ending. It's that one syllable word on it's own line: "and all I could come up with was blank." (Not sure about that) I would have liked a more elegent denument, but that's just me.

I see what you mean, Hawk, but it was meant to convey a blank page, which is a lot less than eloquent. Thanks, though - I always like your feedback!

[Maryd.]

Oh dear Dafydd, my heart melted when I read this one. I know the feeling of waiting. Have done so myslef, just waiting for a few words - anything... A simple hello... Waiting. This is precious sir.
Mwah

[dafydd manton]

Thanks, Mary. It's comforting to know that someone else has been there as well!

[Maryd.]

Yes sir. I think we have all been on the waiting list. Am I right?

[Delta40]

they say silence is golden but it can be the most painful thing too

[dafydd manton]

More right than you will ever know, Mary. Delta, sometimes the silence is deafening!

[Maryd.]

Mwah to you sir

[dafydd manton]

Thanks. (Winks conspiratorially)

[Maryd.]

I just love that dancing banana... It puts a smile on my face everytime I see it.

[dafydd manton]

Then it is doing its job properly. Just as well, the amount I pay it! The amazing thing is, it never gets tired. Mwah!!!!

[Maryd.]

Sounds familiar... Ciao

[dafydd manton]

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Delta40]

mwah mwah to you both...(I want to smash the banana!)

[Maryd.]

mwah mwah to you both...(I want to smash the banana!)

No Delta, the banana is my friend....:angelsad2:

[dafydd manton]

Shocking!!! Cruelty to an innocent banana. I shall speak to Matron! I've got to spend hours now mending his little broken nana heart, and believe me, cuddling a banana is no easy feat.

[Delta40]

I hope you and the banana never split...

[dafydd manton]

*Groans. Bangs head against wall!*

[Haunted]

I dont know why the banana stopped dancing...something I did?

ah the void, so familiar. It's a perfect analogy, fish out of water, starving for love. This speaks for a lot of us, thanks!

[dafydd manton]

He gets embarrassed if he thinks somebody is watching him!

[Delta40]

well he should put his super banana cape on so he doesn't feel embarrassed!

[dafydd manton]

Have you ever watched Bananaman? English cartoon, 1980s. Brilliant!

[Delta40]

think so. Did you ever watch Monkey?

[dafydd manton]

It doesn't ring a bell,I have to say. Oh, no that was Quasimodo!

[Delta40]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monkey_(TV_series)

ahh tripitaka!

[Jerrybaldy]

I loved monkey :D

[Delta40]

me too!

[dafydd manton]

I'm not old enough!

[Maryd.]

I'm not sane enough.... Hahahaha

[dafydd manton]

Best way to be!!!!!

[Maryd.]

You too ha?