The Antique Shop

[dafydd manton]

The Antique Shop

It seems to be what I'm looking for.
May I have a closer look?
Yes, probably mid twentieth century.
Bit knocked about, though,
Bit dented.
Huh, one careful owner?
This one's at least third hand,
Probably fourth.
That's a huge dent there,
Yes, there, in the middle.
Looks quite recent, too.
Another dent there, and there,
Older ones, but bad dents.
A bit battered around the edges,
And a patch there has gone black.
Been used a bit,
I'd say.
Hold on! There's a huge crack.
There, top to bottom!
Hairline, I know, but still
A crack.
Another one here, and on the side.
You shouldn't be selling something like this.
You couldn't even give it away.
Might as well chuck it in the bin.
Utterly useless!
Who on earth wants
A broken heart.

[hillwalker]

Ouch..... needs a bit of restoration by the sounds of it (the heart not the poem - that's in perfect working order).

[Bar22do]

Altezahen... hmm... I knew from the beginning it was a metaphor, so telling what it was for disturbed me slightly, but I don't see either how you could have avoided it. Anyhow, you managed to be strongly poignant without being sentimental (but for the last telling line), and you added your now familiar humour which all gave me a delightful read! for which - much gratitude - Bar

[dafydd manton]

Thanks both - much appreciated!

[PrinceMyshkin]

Phew! Close call... I was sure it was going to turn out to be a series of busts of Jerrybaldly.

Reminds me of an advertisement I once saw: "Found: male brain, hardly used". (Not, of course, yours!)

[dafydd manton]

That's why, when you go to a brain transplant clinic, the brains of politicians are always the most expensive - Never Been Used!


One of the down-sides to continually writing funny stuff is that when you try to be allegorical, or in this case cynical, it back-fires on you! That'll teach me to stick to one genre! Ever have one of those days?

[Jerrybaldy]

Hmmm. Busts of Jerrybaldy? Fair Comment :D
I didnt see the metaphor coming as was thinking it was going to be one of your purely comical pieces.
Afterthought. All hearts are broken and somebody wants each and every one of those battered old pumps.
Quack
Jerry

[dafydd manton]

Wish you were right, mate....... Ah well, life's a bit of a *******!

[Jerrybaldy]

I am right Daffy. Im sure. Although whether you would get Brenda from the asylum is, I am told, dependant on you sucking yesterday's tomato soup from her beard.

[dafydd manton]

Ah, Brenda....those broken toenails......... the teeth like a Naafi Piano Keyboard, one black, one white, one missing............... the bustline where she balances pints of Guinness......the wig. How could I forget her......the odour of cheese and onion crisps and gin. What a woman. Had everything a man could want - huge biceps, tattoes, moustache... I carry a torch of Brenda. One day I shall set light to her.

[Hawkman]

Doesn't sound very appetising matey! I refer to the description of the heart, (I still have that barbeque on my mind) or the beard strainings for that matter ;)

H

[Delta40]

Bravo Daffy! This is superb. I suspected you were talking about older people but the heart just really packed a great punch

[angliholic]

Very intriquing to the last!
My favorite lines:
Might as well chuck it in the bin.
Utterly useless!
Who on earth wants
A broken heart.

[dafydd manton]

Wall, thank you-all mos' kindly!!! *Removes Stetson, bows, trips over spurs*

[Haunted]

I wasn't expecting that. Love it!

[dafydd manton]

Thank ye, Ma'am!

[Delta40]

gie me yer bash'd herte an ah'll get it priced on Antick Rodshoo

[dafydd manton]

Just a groat, my dear, a simple groat, for a simple man...... *Puts on costume monk's habit, picks up staff, nips down pub*

[Delta40]

http://forum.smallworlds.com/showthread.php?t=195660

there is always this option

[dafydd manton]

Thanks for that!! I like it.

[Delta40]

I don't have a wooden heart
but I got titanium hips!

[dafydd manton]

There's no real answer to that!

[Delta40]

except for hip, hip - hooray!

[dafydd manton]

hip, hip....replacement!