Barbeque

[Hawkman]

I’m invited to a barbeque,
I don’t know if I’ll go,
they’re offering long pig
so I might nibble on a toe.
But toes are rather bony
as there’s not a lot of flesh;
my sympathy is almost all
for the unhappy wretch,
who being freshly slaughtered,
will rest upon the grill;
well, maybe I’ll let others
help themselves and eat their fill.
It’s true that certain body parts
fulfil a useful task,
like picking teeth with toenails,
as one doesn’t have to ask.
If it’s bad form, well, no one cares
with grease around their chops,
they use the hair for wrappings
and the clothes mop up the slops.
But then again, with cannibals,
one never can be sure,
just who is on the menu card,
or if their hearts are pure.
What worries me so frightfully
is why did they ask me?
And what is it their intention
when inviting me for tea?

[dafydd manton]

Guest of Honour and Main Course!

We've got a lovely meal spread out
With lamb and beef and pork.
But the piece de resistance
Is a roasted haunch of Hawk!

[Hawkman]

A hawk has wings, a hawk has legs
a hawk has meat upon the breast
but haunches really come from dear
eat it freely, without fear
but if your meat has feathers on,
your hosts exclaim with some applomb,
"Oh pluck it!"

[dafydd manton]

I can think of nothing to follow that! Well done, mate. Loved it! *Thinks...what shall I have for lunch.....*

[hillwalker]

Hilarious idea, Hawk..... and unfortunately reminds me of a curry once eaten in semi-darkness in a little 'hovel' in the wilds of mid-Wales many years ago (let's just say that the 'cook', eight months pregnant at the time, was cutting her toe nails in the kitchen as her guests arrived.... and yours truly got a little extra in his portion)! Mmmm.

H

[Delta40]

very amusing - and here I was dreaming of a bit of crackle!

[PrinceMyshkin]

Puts a new meaning in "Let's have you over for dinner."

[Bar22do]

I’m invited to a barbeque,
I don’t know if I’ll go,
they’re offering long pig
so I might nibble on a toe.
But toes are rather bony
as there’s not a lot of flesh;
my sympathy is almost all
for the unhappy wretch,
who being freshly slaughtered,
will rest upon the grill;
well, maybe I’ll let others
help themselves and eat their fill.
It’s true that certain body parts
fulfil a useful task,
like picking teeth with toenails,
as one doesn’t have to ask.
If it’s bad form, well, no one cares
with grease around their chops,
they use the hair for wrappings
and the clothes mop up the slops.
But then again, with cannibals,
one never can be sure,
just who is on the menu card,
or if their hearts are pure.
What worries me so frightfully
is why did they ask me?
And what is it their intention
when inviting me for tea?

Who knows, indeed...! (though if your arteries are cholesterol plated, you should be able to go there safely, I guess) - hilarious, my Hawk!

[Jerrybaldy]

Damn it Hawk.
I thought this was going to be an invitation to the Hawk back garden for a litnet get together. My car boot is packed with birdseye ready to go here. I was looking forward to roasted duck particularly if we could have caught the Welsh bugger. Oh well, next summer maybe.
Funny poem. For a second or two there I thought of going veggie :)

[dafydd manton]

*Pretends not to have noticed reference to self. Keeps dignity, but will peck his ankle when chance arises*

[Jerrybaldy]

*introduces Daffy to Wan King who is thinking 'aromatic'*

[hillwalker]

I was going to mention 'orange sauce' - but it's like shouting 'mint sauce' at sheep (cruelty to dumb animals) :-)

[dafydd manton]

"Why's everybody always pickin' on me??"

[Jerrybaldy]

apologies Charlie Brown

[hillwalker]

err, no.... that was Charlie Brown (the song) - it's just mutual respect, daf.

.......EDIT, beaten by that jerry fellow

[Hawkman]

Hilarious idea, Hawk..... and unfortunately reminds me of a curry once eaten in semi-darkness in a little 'hovel' in the wilds of mid-Wales many years ago (let's just say that the 'cook', eight months pregnant at the time, was cutting her toe nails in the kitchen as her guests arrived.... and yours truly got a little extra in his portion)! Mmmm.
H

Hi hill, I'm trying to decide it the "Mmmm" is an expression of culinary appreciation, or one of those sounds associated with one's philosophical musings when contemplating the possible ingredients of the curry after discovering the toenail. i.e. was the toenail really a foriegn body accidentally introduced during the declared trimming incident, or did it actually belong to the owner of the flesh you have just consumed? In the wilds of Wales anything is possible :D Glad to have given you a giggle.




very amusing - and here I was dreaming of a bit of crackle!

Bit difficult to get good cracling on a barbie, D40, especially with that cold wind blowing yesterday. We finished off the afternoon with a game of Boules.


Puts a new meaning in "Let's have you over for dinner."

The same meaning inferred by the eponymous Dr. Lecter, whom we have already immortalised in verse. :D


Who knows, indeed...! (though if your arteries are cholesterol plated, you should be able to go there safely, I guess) - hilarious, my Hawk!

But, Sweet Bar, it just adds to the flavour. Anyway, as I am here to tell the tale, we may assume, at least on this occasion, that I was not destined to end my days as a kebab. Who knows what will happen next time?


Damn it Hawk.
I thought this was going to be an invitation to the Hawk back garden for a litnet get together. My car boot is packed with birdseye ready to go here. I was looking forward to roasted duck particularly if we could have caught the Welsh bugger. Oh well, next summer maybe.
Funny poem. For a second or two there I thought of going veggie :)

JB, I am sorry to disappoint you! But then again, it's quite a long drive, and the M5 is invariably blocked on one of it's carriageways, especially on a bank holiday. It was, Northbound, this evening, and the problems always occur around the Bristol exit, so You probably saved yourself considerable inconvenience by giving it a miss today. To be honest, I prefer, hawk caught duck, as there are no nasty lead pellets to break your teeth. My bird was quite adept at catching them. She didn't fly them down, though. She'd perch in a tree above them and drop on them, grasping them by the neck, and she'd stand on their heads untill they drowned. She would then row herself to the bank where I would be required to render assistance extracting her from the water. She did get rather wet doing this. I never determined whether she had a preference for Welsh Duck. :D


*Pretends not to have noticed reference to self. Keeps dignity, but will peck his ankle when chance arises*

See above


"Why's everybody always pickin' on me??"

Because you're there!

Best to all and thanks for reading and commenting on my concoction of cannibalistic kebabs :D

Live and be well, one and all, Even the Druid... :devil:

Best, H

[dafydd manton]

Diolch yn fawr...I think!

[Hawkman]

Rydych yn croesawu, I know :D

[Jerrybaldy]

ummm
isnt it