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dafydd manton
08-27-2010, 06:21 PM
Life in the Asylum.


I sit here, in my lonely cell, feeling less than merry,
Listening for the rattle on the pipes that will be Jerry
He's got a bent and battered spoon
That's pretty good at Morse.
Good, of course, but not as good as me

He sits and writes his poetry, sometimes uses rhymes
He's stooped as low as using capitals, sometimes,
He writes them to the patron
Then hands them on to Matron.
Sometimes writ in orange juice, and sometimes done with limes.

We try to take our meals each day at the same old beer-stained table
But then it can be difficult as Delta, when she's able,
Fills the pockets of her jeans
With tons and tons of cold baked beans
And insists on calling poor old Jerry "Mabel".

Sometimes, though, the madness of them makes one somewhat chary
Delta looks at Jerry and she calls him "Mister Hairy"
The situation's really getting bad,
The lot of them are acting slightly mad
And we haven't even mentioned poor old Mary.

Mary is the only one amongst us that's half sane
(She's also rather pretty, whilst old Jerry's rather plain.)
I hadn't had the time, so then I felt a
Comment would be good about our Delta
But then I'd have to mention Missy Mary once again.

So we carry on our lunacy in manners quire undaunted,
They say that we are strangem but our genius is vaunted
But to make a goodly quorum
To discuss our dearest Forum
We've built a special cell for our little darlin' Haunted.


This poem can be read, or you may put it to a tune.
It's all about the institute we call "The Singing Loon"
It's of Haunted, Mr. Hairy.
Delta40 and dear Mary
And of course, the most important, Jerry's spoon.

Jerrybaldy
08-27-2010, 06:35 PM
Matron, Matron. Daffy has had too many drugs again. Its just like last time when he invented the banana thing. He is in love with Mary Delta and Haunted again. That electric shock treatment only gave him wood. Matron. I think its time for for the pink stuff in the plastic cup. He didnt pun for two hours last time.

Maryd.
08-27-2010, 06:35 PM
OMG Dafydd, this one has me in fits of laughter... Surprised I didn't wake up the family. I love it sir, you are so talented. But I wouldn't be too quick in saying I am half sane...

dafydd manton
08-27-2010, 06:36 PM
OK, so I exaggerated...........

Maryd.
08-27-2010, 06:39 PM
You character... Mwah.

Delta40
08-27-2010, 06:44 PM
ha ha. You're great at your art and I am so touched (in the head)

dafydd manton
08-27-2010, 06:44 PM
Well, it helps. Put those beans down, at once!

Delta40
08-27-2010, 06:46 PM
no! no! they have lots of fibre and my jeans are wearing a bit thin, here and there

tailor STATELY
08-27-2010, 06:46 PM
LOL. Shades of Benny Hill.

dafydd manton
08-27-2010, 06:48 PM
*Walks at double speed pursuing scantily clad female*

Delta40
08-27-2010, 06:50 PM
*throws a tin of Heinz*

dafydd manton
08-27-2010, 06:52 PM
*Ducks, 57 times*

Maryd.
08-27-2010, 06:53 PM
At least everyone rhymes

dafydd manton
08-27-2010, 06:55 PM
*Did you throw those limes?*

Jerrybaldy
08-27-2010, 06:56 PM
acts inappropriately, hold on , that wont do, runs naked down the corridors, screaming death to celery.

dafydd manton
08-27-2010, 06:57 PM
"Matron! Jers running again. I don't know what he's wearing, but it needs ironing!"

Delta40
08-27-2010, 07:09 PM
*aargh screams Maryd - the celery is stalking me!*

dafydd manton
08-27-2010, 07:10 PM
"Throw a towel over him, before the cat sees!"

hillwalker
08-27-2010, 07:24 PM
I think the dosages need increasing.....

dafydd manton
08-27-2010, 07:26 PM
*Sings chorus of "Come and Join Us...."*

Delta40
08-27-2010, 07:31 PM
the dance settee...

Jerrybaldy
08-27-2010, 08:02 PM
' Dance then where ever you may be' sang Delta, as she showered herself in sherbet.

Jerrybaldy
08-27-2010, 08:06 PM
matron, matron, daffy is displaying signs of penis envy again.

Delta40
08-27-2010, 08:14 PM
aw Daffy has stole my liquorice. fly my pretties fly - bring back Mary - and her little dog too!

Jerrybaldy
08-27-2010, 08:24 PM
mary had a little dog. Did i misread all this time?. Daffy bring back Delta's liquorice the colour is all wrong, you aint fooling anybody.

Maryd.
08-27-2010, 08:38 PM
Mary runs past, chasing her dog...

Haunted
08-28-2010, 02:33 AM
I got my own cell? cool!

Mary hurry up, your doggie is drinking from my shiny stainless steel toilet bowl

Maryd.
08-28-2010, 04:38 AM
Argh!!!! Come here Honey, before I do something I will regret...

dafydd manton
08-28-2010, 05:32 AM
No, no don't regret it!! Where did I put the wet lettuce!

And Jerry, I don't know what you mean!

Jerrybaldy
08-28-2010, 05:57 AM
Matron!!!!!!
Mary, Delta and Daffy have formed a coven. They are wearing the hats again and they smell of lettuce and liquorice. Can I cell share with Haunted? She has all the screwdrivers.

dafydd manton
08-28-2010, 06:57 AM
Haunted may be in the asylum, but the's not THAT mad!!!!!!

PrinceMyshkin
08-28-2010, 08:04 AM
What a contrast to your more recent poem, each an excellent example of its kind.

dafydd manton
08-28-2010, 08:10 AM
Thanks Prince. I try and keep it light now and again. Warning: too much time spent in the Asylum can be contagious!

dafydd manton
08-28-2010, 11:19 AM
How many other places could you find an Anglo-Australian Asylum, where we all sing "Native New Yorker", and one comes in?!

Haunted
08-29-2010, 03:36 AM
*in strolls the New Yorker, with a cup of Earl Grey tea and a kangaroo burger.*

dafydd manton
08-29-2010, 03:42 AM
*Greets New Yorker*

Ah, g'day mate! Strewth, cobber, blue, it's 'ot today, digger!