View Full Version : The light I did not see
Song of Mercy
08-26-2010, 07:08 AM
The light I did not see
the shadow was a path
leading to a door,
which opened to a dwelling place
(a place I had been before.)
though did not recognize it
nor recognize its worth,
crossing now the threshold
I find you are my hearth.
5th line, is there an "I" missing? sounds like it.
beautifully soft and natural rhymes, yet also poised and tense due to the brevity, concluding in a very personal, powerful statement. great art!
dafydd manton
08-26-2010, 07:38 AM
I think an "I" in there would be both unnecessary, grammatically imperfect and rather cumbersome. Lovely piece of work. Nice one, Song
Song of Mercy
08-26-2010, 07:46 AM
Thanks.
this is contemplation, I suspect an 'i' in line 5 would break the mood and divert attention from this contemplation, this revelation.
ok! it snagged my eye, but if thats your intention then i comprehend.
PrinceMyshkin
08-26-2010, 07:48 AM
Beautiful testimony - to a lover, I assume?
Song of Mercy
08-26-2010, 08:09 AM
Beautiful testimony - to a lover, I assume?
yes..
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