Angst

[miyako73]

Angst

The still door,
The cold walls,
The white ceiling,
The bare floor,
The idle closet,
The clean table,
The armless chair,
The dim lamp,
The empty bed,
The folded blanket,
Hollow my gut
Like I let go
A new butterfly,
Burn my chest
Like I unleash fire
To become embers,
As I lay facing down
On the feather pillow
Whose pillowcase
I cannot find.

[hillwalker]

A chilling portrait of despair - and the style is as sparse as the hope in this narrator's heart

[Haunted]

The list form is very effective. The emptiness one feels inside and outside in the environment is compelling.

[miyako73]

Thanks, hill and haunted.

[dafydd manton]

I was brought up in the grounds of mental hospitals, as a result of my father's work, and this reminds me so much of looking through the windows in to the indvidual rooms, often with people just sitting, staring....... You have encapsulated it perfectly. They are memories that have remained with me for over 40 years, very strong memories, in the same way that this is a very strong poem indeed. Well done, indeed.

[PrinceMyshkin]

"lay" in l 17 should be 'lie,' apart from that, this is very moving especially in those last lines referring to the missing pillowcase, symbolizing, I assume, something else that is missing. Bravo!

[Jerrybaldy]

I too was reminded of an asylum and thought that the missing pillow case may be a part of that along with the rest of the room.
Still pondering on the butterfly and the embers.
Good job
JB

[Delta40]

very powerful portrayal of angst.

[miyako73]

thanks, guys, for reading.

Prince, I used "lie" at first, but I found it boring. "Lay" has more meanings. It can be surrender, rest, give up, etc. I don't know if it works. If not, I will go abck to the original lie.

[angliholic]

Great piece!
The way you express Angst is very circuitous and Oriental!