Love can happen quickly

[breathtest]

Love Can Happen Quickly and Then Die and Go on Living

why was i deserted.
an anemic rush of blood
too lonely for a cure.
a grave too shallow for a body, a human
existence with no cherubic quality
& an awful sound growing,
seeds of flowers continuously forming
and dying
in a cycle of worn flesh.

i felt existence against my chest
slowly breathing slowly living
& then taken away, & the sound in
my ear was the breath
of her life, pushing mine away.

[hillwalker]

Unrequited love in all its horror
- love the line 'a grave too shallow for a body'

[PrinceMyshkin]

With the lines




an anemic rush of blood
too lonely for a cure


I knew I was in masterful hands, although the elongated title (or was it the first line?) had already given me some assurance of that. And the rest of it more than lives up to that promise. It may seem incongruous to deem something "beautiful" that is as deeply sad as this is, but it is beautiful. Thank you.

[Haunted]

it goes to show how vulnerable we are, when the meaning of our existence depends so much on a loved one. It's so touching, thanks for sharing.

[breathtest]

Thank you very much Hillwalker, your comments are always appreciated.

As are yours Prince and Haunted. And yes Haunted, in the past few weeks especially i have been struck by how vulnerable we are for that reason.

[Alexander III]

I quite like this, took me several reading to appreciate it fully.

"in a cycle of worn flesh"

"a grave too shallow for a body"

Love those lines.

I also really like the rhythm of the pecice which your create, musical in a gloomy rushed breath sort of way which matches the ambiance of the poem marvelously

:)

[Delta40]

the sound in
my ear was the breath
of her life, pushing mine away

superb

[Hawkman]

Good one bt. best, H

[Jerrybaldy]

have just read again and got it. ( third or fourth attempt, but that says more of me than your writing). I have to say I like it all the more now. You are speaking for those with no voice who are never going to have one. I am neither pro or anti but am moved by your lines
Jerry

[Jerrybaldy]

Just re-read again. Good as I am at what I do (I put that in to remove the self pity thought), I could never have wrote this and I am full of admiration for the depth and subtlety of your poetry.

[breathtest]

Wow, i'm glad you guys think so highly of this piece. It means a lot to me, so thank you all for appreciating it.