Stir the Fire

[Song of Mercy]

Mounting in the sky,
Rising to full crest,
Drawing on the waters,
Still in the sea at rest.
Quaking pebbles tumble,
While spewing fury flys,
Yet underneath the turmoil,
Molten reserves reside.

Mounting trials of life,
Rising to full crest,
Drawing on the peace,
Aquired during rest.
Quaking challenges tumble,
Goals as fury's fly,
Yet cannot snuff the flame,
That in your heart resides.

[lallison]

Well, nothing wring with this that a college level poetry writing course couldn't fix. As it stands, the first stanza is better than the second because it deals with concrete images that bring about emotion in the reader. The second stanza is an attempt to explain the a abstract emotion implied by the first stanza. Better to just let the reader feel it. Keep at it.

[Song of Mercy]

Thank you, I appreciate the thoughtful response.