A love

[Eiss]

A love

My eyes did float
as I first saw the world -
as ours, I mean, my love.
Since, I tell with pride,
my hands held only atoms,
or should I say: the days?
However, kind of strange it was
that green turned to be gray.
Well, then our lives did rule if ever
man in woman were to raise.
And if it might be, sincerely,
that only we were thought by me:
I still love this world of things to bare,
and suppose that there is none.
Yet, until this day it's strange
that all the green went gray.
And drift we do at least into,
well, at least out of my eyes,
where all the green is one, come see,
and all the words so gray, so nice.


(nearly ten years old poem)

[Bar22do]

A love

My eyes did float
as I first saw the world -
as ours, I mean, my love.
Since, I tell with pride,
my hands held only atoms,
or should I say: the days?
However, kind of strange it was
that green turned to be gray.
Well, then our lives did rule if ever
man in woman were to raise.
And if it might be, sincerely,
that only we were thought by me:
I still love this world of things to bare,
and suppose that there is none.
Yet, until this day it's strange
that all the green went gray.
And drift we do at least into,
well, at least out of my eyes,
where all the green is one, come see,
and all the words so gray, so nice.


(nearly ten years old poem)

Graceful though with a nostalgic back scenery/feelings... and what do you write now?!
I enjoyed this "old" one...
Best - Bar

[Eiss]

This was, for me being native Dutch, the only English poem I wrote. I still write poems sometimes, and all kinds of different texts as well (journ./copywr./adm.). I will see if I can get you a contemporary English example of my poetry.

[dafydd manton]

My admiration is endless!! I really like it!

[Eiss]

Thank you.

[hillwalker]

This is almost like a painting..... love slowly fading out of view as it ages and the colours lose their vibrancy. There are one or two lines here that reflect the stilted expressions of someone writing English as a second language but you have done a wonderful job of creating a feeling of longing and a certain humble regret. Well done.

[Delta40]

I like the flow and sound of this love poem very much. thank you.

[Eiss]

Mmm. I'll give next poem soon.

[Eiss]

What love came to

You had with some of the boys,
I had with some of the girls, that's ok.
You have been beaten with child, a boy,
And I by dark clans of old pasts got raped.
Seventeen summers flew, not did your beauty.
Could not the longing, maybe my wisdom grew:
But if not Mercy and Time our distances break,
I will go on fooling me - and loving you. You.

[YesNo]

Nice last line, especially the "fooling me" and the final "You".

[Bar22do]

Eiss, I waited long for your new one! Love its modest tone and powerful affirmation. lovely.

[Eiss]

Thanks, Bar22do. It is not really a smooth poem, but it couldn't be said otherwise.