Day in, Day out

[angliholic]

Day in, day out
a young lad hangs on, digging
a fountain of spring.

Tick in, tack out
he appreciates every tingling
in flowery spring.

Day out, dusk in
petals are all falling out
in the evening.

Snow in, white out
Rosy glow has all faded out
in the sighing.

[Jassy Melson]

I like this poem for three reasons: for the images that are evoked in it; for the conciseness of it; and for the rhythmic cadence of it. The meaning of the poem cannot be stated explicitly. It could be said that this poem is about nothing specific.

[lallison]

you have written this so that it reaches a wonderful climax. Very heartfelt, convincing and imaginative.

[dafydd manton]

As soft and beautiful as ever. Thanks!

[Bar22do]

This is perfect and whole. Thanks. Bar

[angliholic]

I like this poem for three reasons: for the images that are evoked in it; for the conciseness of it; and for the rhythmic cadence of it. The meaning of the poem cannot be stated explicitly. It could be said that this poem is about nothing specific.

Thanks, Jassy, for taking the time to comment this scribbling of mine!
It's nothing but a scribbling to practice writing!


you have written this so that it reaches a wonderful climax. Very heartfelt, convincing and imaginative.
Thanks, lallison, for the comment.


As soft and beautiful as ever. Thanks!

Thanks, Dafydd, for the kind words.




This is perfect and whole. Thanks. Bar

Thanks, Bar, for the nice words.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I love the variants on the first line of every verse, and also the seemingly effortless flow of all the lines.

[Jerrybaldy]

This is my favourite so far of your ever flowing floral poems, Ang.

[adityasam]

What Great Imagination. I liked the last stanza very much. Thanks for this Angli...

Regards!