I loved a lovely maiden

[Cunninglinguist]

I saw the last leaf fall in fall;
And thought, what rust' the trees' green gold,
Who now, as stumps, deprived of all
Will stand so barren, 'lone, and cold?

I saw the sweetest buds of May
By season's cruel hand gripped fast;
And so I saw them wilt away
Till once they turned to dirt at last.

I loved a lovely maiden true,
But love was shadowed by Time's lust,
Who fit his all with blackest hue
And struck my maiden down to dust.

[Delta40]

lovely writing. I think setting the scene with the first two stanzas is very effective

[Cunninglinguist]

lovely writing. I think setting the scene with the first two stanzas is very effective

Thanks. This poem is rather preliminary, so I'll probably be developing a more complete version later on about man's ultimate relationship with time. i.e. how we think he is our friend at first and helps heal our emotional injuries but ultimately betrays us.

[Delta40]

Thanks. This poem is rather preliminary, so I'll probably be developing a more complete version later on about man's ultimate relationship with time. i.e. how we think he is our friend at first and helps heal our emotional injuries but ultimately betrays us.

lol. it also sounds like man's relationship with woman!

[Cunninglinguist]

lol. it also sounds like man's relationship with woman!

Hahaha :p I suppose that comparison could be made.

[kittypaws]

Hi Cunninglinguist...I do not think we have had the pleasures of meeting each other. Your write is vivid but I have questions...sigh, I always seem to have questions ...

Whatever happened to the season of summer?

I saw the last leaf fall in fall;
I felt the sweetest buds of May
Who now, as stumps, deprived of all
Will stand so barren, 'lone, and cold?



I am interested to hear why you think "time" betrays us....like I said I ask a lot of questions cuz that is the only way you learn.

Beside that....very nice poem!

kittypaws

[Cunninglinguist]

Hi Cunninglinguist...I do not think we have had the pleasures of meeting each other. Your write is vivid but I have questions...sigh, I always seem to have questions ...

Whatever happened to the season of summer?


I am interested to hear why you think "time" betrays us....like I said I ask a lot of questions cuz that is the only way you learn.

Beside that....very nice poem!

kittypaws

Well, like I said, the poem is preliminary, so I will be adding to it, probably.

Initially we see time as a great source of healing, hence the idiom "time heals all wounds." But in the end we are terminated because 'time's lust' (for change) will never stop, and in that sense it betrays the idiom, at least. So, during the beginning of our lives we may look at time as a great thing (perhaps even our friend?) and at the end we may see it in a different light, perhaps as a masquerading friend who betrays us, steals our loved ones, and eventually kill us.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I don't usually have much patience for poems that offer the stateliness of 18th or 19th c. poetry, but you handle this as if it were the most natural way to write. Lovely poem in which both the sentiment and form are pleasing.