All you ever wanted

[Jerrybaldy]

You make me want to be
precisely what you are looking for.
If only I knew what the hell that was.
I would be better than you thought you would find.
More than you thought you deserved.
Then I would have you.
I would bathe in your gratitude.
Work on your weakness.
Undermine your beauty
until it was lost.

[dafydd manton]

By 'eck, there's some good, thoughtful stuff coming out tonight. That line "If only I knew what the hell that was" is a belter. Well done, mate!

[Delta40]

great poem jerry. there seems to be strength in your writing, even when you reveal a softer side

[Jerrybaldy]

I would thank you daffy but after your line about helping old women cross the road I have decided not to. You, you welshman.
Thank you Delta. Somewhat surprised as I thought I was writing through the eyes of a complete bastard :)

[Delta40]

of course - aren't all men (he he)

[Jerrybaldy]

good point. well made. ;)

[Maryd.]

Oh Jerry... I love this one. You are a very talented poet. Well done sir.

[NikolaiI]

I would thank you daffy but after your line about helping old women cross the road I have decided not to. You, you welshman.
Thank you Delta. Somewhat surprised as I thought I was writing through the eyes of a complete bastard :)

Were you now.

[Haunted]

phew, edgy!

[hillwalker]

Mhmm - a bit of a dark one here - 2 control freaks in 1 relationship, never a good idea.

Purely from the point of view of making the poem easier to understand on first reading, I would suggest lines 4 and 5 be combined into one line (read it and you might see what I'm getting at).

H

[Jerrybaldy]

Mary d -thank you.
NikolaiI - Yes I was, though it may well be me
Haunted- thank you
Hill- thank you, have changed as you suggested, as you were of course, correct :)