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Jerrybaldy
08-13-2010, 05:36 PM
Brine filled and senseless,
dragged onto weed cloaked rock,
you hugged me
until the sea left me
and I gasped in furious air.
White horses swept around us
thundering to their deaths.
Salt burnt my wounds,
spray washed where my body wept
and still, you held me.
Enbraced me, encircled me.
The foam threw light upon your form.
Your eyes dark and haunted,
beneath the trails of your hair,
that fell and encircled your breasts
and ended ragged above your
pearlescent scales.
I embraced you, clung to you
as my life,
squashed your body against me
and straddled your tail.
As we kissed you filled my mouth again
with brine,
it flowed from inside you.
You gathered me as a child in your arms
and gracefully fell to the sea.
I took breath from the water
and danced with you in the calm beneath,
stroking your scales, your breasts, your face.
We lay on the sandy ocean floor
watching the sky flash above the waves.
I held on to your tail as you
rushed me through swaying schools
and past rainbow corals.
When time came to leave
I could find no reason
and my scales grew around me.

Hawkman
08-13-2010, 05:59 PM
Gosh this is good JB.
by the way, this is one occasion when you should have said lay, not laid. :D

Again, Good Poem.

Jerrybaldy
08-13-2010, 06:04 PM
Thank you Hawk (correction now corrected)

dafydd manton
08-14-2010, 09:09 AM
That, my old cocker is incredibly good. The imagery in it is fantastic, and the shock at the end. I was just thinking of a shipwreck - the Royal Charter came to mind forsome reason - then you led us away from that to a fantastic ending. No complaints, yer Honour!

Delta40
08-14-2010, 10:01 AM
what a great imagination you have.

hillwalker
08-14-2010, 11:48 AM
A fascinating piece of work, J. The realistic image of being saved from drowning soon becomes a darker portayal of abduction by a siren perhaps. Great piece of writing.

Jerrybaldy
08-14-2010, 05:27 PM
Thanks dafyyy. I did think of covering the shipwreck, but wandered off.

Thanks Delta, only wish it had some earthly use :)

Thanks Hill. I did think of including a siren as well as a mermaid. The end was supposed to show submission and love of the mermaid leading to him abandoning life above water.

thank you all again for reading and commenting.
Jerry

Maryd.
08-14-2010, 06:32 PM
Yes sir... This one blows me away. Once again you have created a masterpiece.

Haunted
08-14-2010, 11:57 PM
ah, took my breath away!!!!

Jerrybaldy
08-16-2010, 05:30 PM
Mary d. you flatter me lady.
Haunted. deep breaths and line 13 was no accident :)
Jerry

dafydd manton
08-16-2010, 05:32 PM
One of your best, in my 'umble opinion!!

Haunted
08-16-2010, 06:24 PM
yes Jer, I'm totally partial to that line :D

Jerrybaldy
08-16-2010, 06:28 PM
I smiled as I wrote your name :)

NikolaiI
08-16-2010, 06:40 PM
So, who was the poem about Jerry?

Jerrybaldy
08-17-2010, 04:48 PM
Hi NickolaiI
She has been here all along She is just to the left of here. The avatar. A painting by Howard Pyle. The Mermaid.