Six and Seven Eighths

[dafydd manton]

The Soviet spy known as Philby
Was notorius for wearing a trilby.
The great Jewish tunesmith H Blomberg
Was noted for wearin a Homburg.
Kier Hardie, a down-to-earth chap
Debated debates in a cap.
Harrovians, smart in a boater
Go fishing for dab, dace and bloater.
The Schoolgirl learns French dans le jour
With pigtails secure 'neath velour.
I.K. Brunel came a cropper
Designing his ships in a Topper.
(The mated dropped a bit from the gunwhale
So pinched the lad's hat for a funnel.)
The forage cap worn by the ranks
Of the Air Force, and those who drive tanks
Is known by a name impolite.
To print it could never be right.
There's fezes, and Stetsons and Bowlers,
Sou'westers on bo'suns of coalers,
Sombreros on Spaniards, Fur hats on Russians,
Those helmets with spikes on, on military Prussians,
Indians in Turbans, or helmets of pith,
Panamas, Derbys and plumed helms in myth.
There's even the striped thing I wear to my bed.
I can't think of more, off the top of my head!

:seeya:

[hillwalker]

:thumbsup:

Heehee - what a wit. I take my hat off to you, sir

(Most girls adore a man in a fedora)

H

[dafydd manton]

Oh, I just love the banter
A bit like old Tam O'Shanter!

[PrinceMyshkin]

I think I'd adora
this more if you'd mentioned a - what's it called?

Great fun.

[Jerrybaldy]

I cannot tell a lie
you plainly missed the pork pie
and what about the beret?
regards, your good friend, jerry

[dafydd manton]

I'll bet nobody can come up with a good one for busby!!

[Jerrybaldy]

the wonderful wizard of oz.
because because because be,
cause he wears a busby

[hillwalker]

aha.....

Chuck(ed) beret = frisbee
that kinda rhymes with busby.....

H

[Hawkman]

Well there's always berkly but he wore a swim hat.

[Delta40]

very witty
what about the genie
who liked to sport a beanie?

[dafydd manton]

I knew this South African wasn't heppy
Because he had to wear a kepi!

[PrinceMyshkin]

It seems that you forsook
mentioning a toque!
Although I bet you look posh
in your very best cloche.

______________

Can anyone locate an Australian duo who sing a variant of "My old man's a dustman" in which there's a reference to the Queen wearing "gor-blimey hats"?

[dafydd manton]

I just put up a pelmet,
Whilst wearing a steel helmet.

But it'd make you want to barf
If I wore a silk headscarf.

[dafydd manton]

I reckon that what got King Charles The First down
Was losing his head, but also his crown.
But would there have been such a shocking palaver
If all he'd had on was an old balaclava?

All guardsmen are tanned, and may not have fair skin
Or else they'd look silly beneath a black bearskin.
Vikings and Saxons looked ever so corny
With shiny brass headgear that seemed a touch horny,
Whilst middle-aged lasses kept life really simple
By wearing a long, pointy thing called a wimple.

[Jerrybaldy]

a wet chap
should wear a swimming cap
and another cap is a sperm trap
protects from babies, but not the clap.

[dafydd manton]

I've heard about them, but I don't rate them much.
I've never bought nothing wot was made by the Dutch.

[Jerrybaldy]

Nor me with the french
their letter
was no better

[MarkBastable]

Kafka was a dull chap.
He rarely donned a skullcap.
Though at his mum's for Hannukah
He'd wear his grandad's yarmulke.

[Delta40]

I suspect all you men are for her
that woman wearing a fedora
Greta Garbo
makes many men slow
so they find it hard to ingore her

[Hawkman]

Poor Dafydd, he seems a bit simple.
It’s pointless his wearing a wimple,
For it cradles his face,
Though his cheeks it may grace,
It covers up both of his dimples.

When rising first thing in the morning
And greeting my serfs, so adoring,
I will wear on my head,
A pyramid shed,
They tell me it’s very restoring.

But should it not work as foretold
I prefer something made out of gold,
Though it is trimmed with fur
And quite de rigueur,
My coronet makes me look bold.

[dafydd manton]

I really feel that someone might'a
Give a mention to the mitre
I've heard of reverend dignity but
Wear a fish upon your nut?

[Hawkman]

A mitre aint a fish, old chum
it's a corner joint in wood
and placing it upon the head
makes bishops feel quite good.
It represents a flaming tongue
in pentecostal terms
conferred on apolstolic types
to make them understood.

[dafydd manton]

There are those who maintain that the church would be better
If all of the clergy would wear a biretta,
Although the Italians say t'would be betto
If all of their priesthood wore a zucchetto.

Challenge - the tricorn. Got me beat, and I've been up half the night thinking about it!

[dafydd manton]

The worst thing about being a manual worker
You don't thave the brain-power to think of the Burka

[Hawkman]

There is, per chance, the Capauchon,
(though rarely seen on high streets)
and the Westerners have cowboy hats
with full ten gallon capacity.
For some of course
there’s no recourse
but the tidfer called a Panama,
and it’s great in the sun if it’s worn just for fun
when you play, no matter how old you are.

There are peaked ones and floppy ones
And some made out of wool
Others made from cardboard
And some which keep you cool.

Bullfighters wear the Montera
Brazillians sport Vaquieros
In Lesotho the Mokorotlo is worn
in Turkmenistan was the Karakul born

While some may be made out of beads
And others, I've heard, from sheep’s knees,
beware of a hat that can leave you quite flat
An elephant’s foot will do that.
(especially if it’s still attached to the elephant)

[hack]

If you each would slip off your dunce cap
we could all just dispense with this crap

[hack]

Sorry Daf, but when you have flowing locks
a hat seems superfluous. Apologies JB.

[dafydd manton]

I couldn't agree more. I hate the things. When in the RAF I had to wear one - for part of the time a beret, which I loathed with an intensity you wouldn't believe. The only headgear I have now are a slouch hat for when it gets really sunny (about days a year in England), my old flying helmet for nostalgic reasons and a crash helmet because the law says I must.

If you want to know how to look like a prat
Go to a milliner and buy a new hat.
When it comes to a funeral, the things are a curse
But trust me, at weddings, they're 15 times worse!