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Jerrybaldy
08-11-2010, 04:51 PM
I don't think of you every day Dad,
But I'm thinking of you now.
Stood in the kitchen, soapy brush in hand,
shaving, then splashing old spice.
Black hair shining with brylcreem.
In the mornings, shining your shoes,
to a military shine.
Your pride, head always held so high.
Fists always clenched, ready.
The few times you spent time with me
telling tales or playing with toy soldiers,
were made all the more special,
by their rarity.
You were a man I could not match.
Fearless in never walking away.
Your life disintegrated in drink.
Your second wife died.
Your home was a wreck and your money drank.
I wish I could forget the November night,
I walked you home from the pub.
In the street your beltless trousers fell down,
exposing women's tights beneath,
to warm your legs from the winter.
I wanted to kill the passers by
who laughed at your plight.
My proud Father.
When you were waiting to die
You showed no fear.
I doubt I will live up to that
when my time arrives.
I prefer to remember our day on the beach
just kicking a ball.
Your proud son, almost bursting
that you should share a day just you and me.
That evening you served me my first ever steak.
It took some chewing, with my milk teeth
but I felt like a man
Like you Dad.

dafydd manton
08-11-2010, 05:00 PM
Superb, Jerry. No jokes, mate, no light-heartedness, because I can't. Absolutely fabulous. Very, very touching, respectful, poignant. Thanks, chum!

Hawkman
08-11-2010, 05:03 PM
This is really good JB it works on so many emotions and paints very vivid pictures. I only have one quibble with this line:

"Your home was a wreck and your money drank." which just reads oddly

may I suggest:

"Your home was a wreck and you drank your money."

Other than that its a moving poem of rememberance. Good one. H

Delta40
08-11-2010, 05:29 PM
You write as it is without melodrama of any kind so that the sting on our face is genuine.

hillwalker
08-11-2010, 05:30 PM
Heart-wrenching, jerry..... I imagine that's also how it felt to write this tribute. Thanks for taking the trouble to share such a personal memory. These lines.....

almost bursting
that you should share a day just you and me.

I think most of us with both X and Y chromosomes know exactly what you mean.

H

Haunted
08-11-2010, 06:05 PM
This poem blows me away, Jer. Your pain and embarrassment and pride and sense of bonding feel erriely familiar...

dafydd manton
08-11-2010, 06:20 PM
I was thinking, my Dad and I have always had a great relationship, and still do, but it's a powerful insight in to the feelings of those who maybe haven't been so fortunate. Quite an eye-opener.

Maryd.
08-11-2010, 08:19 PM
This is so warm and yet tough at the same time... A love for one's parent is never too rich.

Jerrybaldy
08-12-2010, 04:44 PM
Daf, thank you for your praise
Hawk, Im not sure if that reads oddly, it works in my head. thanks.
Hill, it was ok to write, busy with the words, but it upset me plenty when I switched roles and read it back. I am glad those lines struck a chord. thanks
Haunted, if it sounds familiar, thats good, maybe. thanks.
Mary d, thank you. Think a parent should earn some of that love, but if they dont, it doesnt stop it.

Thanks to you all. I thought this may be too personal and too memory driven, but it seems, happily I was wrong.

lallison
08-13-2010, 07:06 PM
superb, cool sensational. keep writing.