The Elusive Tree

[Homers_child]

I haven't written a poem in a really long time. Actually haven't written anything in years, battling depression and another mental disorder. But this was inspired by my suffering. Its based off the myth of Daphne and Apollo, its quite strange that I feel like both of them is a part of me and my mind. Please, judge away.


The Elusive Tree

O, Muse, my Muse, sing down to me, as done in ancient times,
Sing of the Chase, the Flight and th'Unrequited Love,
But Love it shall not be called, for 'tis but ardent Lust
That drove the Sun God mad.
Her rose-petal lips, her rounded breasts, the paleness of her skin,
All of this Daphne possessed, along with an elusiveness,
For no man ever touched her moon-lit flesh,
Not while she danced in the woods at night,
a Dryad, a Virgin, a purified sight.
O, Muse, my Muse, sing down to me, of the pulse of this Lust,
Was it the Beauty, was she his Aphrodisiac?
Surely this Desire did not stem from Beauty alone, but the Unattainable,
That drove the Archer mad.
But, alas, the Chase began and so fled the desperate Virgin,
Fled the God who pursued her, fled the ravage, fled the rape,
Her pleading Voice rose up to the Heavens,
Up to her Goddess, the unmerciful Diana.
O, Muse, my Muse, sing down to me, of the tragic end,
Daphne and her pale flesh transformed into bark and leaves,
Encased in a Tree she was, elusive, unattainable,
That drove the Sun God mad.

[hillwalker]

I'm not particularly fond of the classical style of writing since many second-rate poets use this kind of flowery language and over-blown expression to mask their short-comings.

But in this instance you have pulled it off - a fine poem that paints an anguished picture of unrequited love - I enjoyed it.

H

[PrinceMyshkin]

I agree with Hillwalker that you managed this archaic voice as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Good poem... and possibly the gateway to others?

[hack]

Welcome, may we have another?

[Homers_child]

Thanks for the compliments guys, I was expecting to get ripped apart. I'll definitely post another when the time comes.

[Homers_child]

Here's a sonnet that I had to write for my Senior English class in HS. We were to base it off of Shakespeare's "Shall I compare thee to a summers day". My teacher really liked mine, so I thought I'd share it. It's all tree-themed.


Shall I compare thee to the tallest oak?
Thou art more deeply rooted and more solid.
Willows do indeed bow to thy feet,
And expectant eyes rove thy swaying branches.
Sometimes the leaves fall and reveal thy soul,
But often does the foliage come again.
Time and time again thy trunk holds the earth in place,
And of this act, thy admirers expect no less.
But I dare thee to climb a mountain,
To dig out thy roots and dive in the lake.
Shield thyself from the winds that pull thy limbs,
It was but an illusion that thou could move.
For, the day ends, and thou art in the dirt, bound,
And I, so far below, am free upon the ground.

[hillwalker]

A perfect example of a sonnet - down to the pivot following line 8 - and I'm pleased you did not get bogged down with rhyme until that final couplet.

Good work

H