Along Came Charlie.

[Jerrybaldy]

I once knew a girl, called Dill
who loved to slap strangers on the face.
That was her thing,
she would slap them, then giggle like a little girl.
She wasn't pretty, though I think she once was.
Slapping was after all, a dangerous past time.
Her face was a mass of scars
Old yellow ones and angry new red ones.
But I loved her.
I loved to stamp on strangers feet.
That was my thing.
She called me stampy.
I never called her slapper.
We were a perfect match.
On the street, or in the mall, we approached strangers,
Dill slapped them and while they gasped,
I trampled their toes.
We lived together during these happy days.
But we took a few hidings.
We were never intimate.
If I ever tried, Dill would slap my face
and I would crush her little painted piggies.
But I loved her.
Then along came Charlie.
We found him kicking butts in the park.
We became a three piece.
Charlie's kick up the bum,
became our finale.
I think I lost out as the middle man.
Dill would keep her piggies out of my reach
But was forever bent over for Charlie,
winking over her shoulder,
that he should give her a kick.
I dont see either of them anymore.
But I have met Mary.
She loves to pull wigs from bald men's heads.
That's her thing.
Sometimes we have to search all day.
But, oh, the payoff.

[mazHur]

am happy she wouldn't be able to pull hair off my pate!! How about you??:)

[Jerrybaldy]

the wind blows uninterupted over my tanned scalp, thanks for making it to the end ;)
cheers
jerry

[Delta40]

I just woke up and the thought of a man losing his facade is just what I need to start my day!

[Jerrybaldy]

greetings from yesterday Delta. Have to say its a far better friday here than you had. Once it leaves the antipodes it gets a bit of a spring in its step. I have something you have lost forever. The past. Its the new future.
But I digress :) happy to have you waking to a bewigging in your mind. As for the bit before that, I am beginning to worry for my own sanity :D If it keeps up like this Im gonna end up in the you know where institution.
yours
jerry

[dafydd manton]

You know, Jerry, there are times when I wonder what goes through your mind. Have you been smoking things you aren't supposed to, or are you really that weird?

[Jerrybaldy]

I am thinking what with your spelling of 'through' you are probably the problem here dafyyd. Ok now you go and correct it and make me look silly. You really have it in for me dafyyd.

[dafydd manton]

It's Dafydd. Y Double D. Not Double Y D.

My old mate Jerry
Let's be merry
Dill
Has had her fill.
The poor old slapper.

Mike's kicked his last bum
Let's mourn him, old chum
And arrange us a meeting
For a bit of meekbeating
What fun.

[Haunted]

It just occurred to me, Jerry, you can tattoo your poem on your head. The gals won't get enough of it. ;)

[dafydd manton]

(Tell it not in Gath, but he's planning on the Rubayyat of Omar Khayam).

[Jerrybaldy]

dafydd you will always have a double y to me. I will remember you this way. And mike? who the hell is mike? Is the poem not called along came charlie? anyways enough jesting. You are a sharp wit dafyyyyd. You make me laugh every time you write . sometimes intentionally.
Affection to you mate and I hope you manage a pint of something some time soon
cheers
Jerry

[dafydd manton]

Dear Jeryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Thanks for that!

Zum Wohl!

Dafyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyydd

[Jerrybaldy]

Go easy haunted. have only liked you so far. have to love you before you can make baldy jokes. Ok. I love you now. Go ahead and tattoo my head :D
JB

[Delta40]

bold men will always be desirable
uhm I mean bawled men are fools
sorry, I mean balled men are tough
godammit! bald men are Lit-net poets

[Haunted]

I never said bald, Jerry, you soooo sensitive. Oh plz, love me love me, you just opened the floodgate. What polish do you use? :D

[dafydd manton]

Bonce-o, for the cranial skating rink! Get Bonce-o now, two for the price of three.

[Jerrybaldy]

Delta poetess, you are just sore as I still have your yesterday. I am actually bold and bald, desirable, poetic and avialable soon at a store near you. Next year my new improved version is in the shops. get queuing lady down under.
Dont mention the shhhhh.
Jerry

Haunted. Oh floating one. I use cuckoo spit to shine my bonce. Hair is very yesterday :)
One of your many fans
JB

[Haunted]

oh geez, I want the latest looks. Should I shave my head?

[Jerrybaldy]

dafyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyd. You are welsh I am from Bristol. We have no historical reason to like each other. I am blind to all your future wit. But I have some Bonce-o I need to get rid of. You ready daf, all together now Oggy Oggy Oggy.

[dafydd manton]

Strangely, I am in sore need of Bonce-o, since I drank the last lot, strained through a football sock, as laid down in the manual. Thereafter, one laid down.

However, far be it from me to rain on anybody's parade, so:

Oy Oy Oy!

[Jerrybaldy]

Haunted . wanna be too kewl for skewl ? shave it off. shave it now. the lot. lol. im thinking we have may have strayed from the poem and the thread here. Meetings will be met and words will be exchanged.

[dafydd manton]

JB, Haunted, DM, all in numbered suits with arrows on, breaking rocks at HM Prison Scher!

[Haunted]

oops, sorry. Back to the poem. Do you wear wigs and have you had yours pulled off? :D

[Jerrybaldy]

No , therefore no. But I would love to pull off another's. wouldnt we all ( ignoring the euphimisms that have just become apparent)

[Haunted]

no, I'd rather see the wind blow it off....

[PrinceMyshkin]

Very funny account. There's always a Charlie, isn't there, to spoil the fun.

[Jerrybaldy]

dafyyyd. Your comments are an entertainment of their own.
Thank you Prince. Charlies are indeed everywhere. Thanks for reading and commenting
cheers
JB

[Pensive]

:lol:
I love the mere weirdness of this poem! Has got to be one of my most favourites I have ever come across on these boards! :)

[Jerrybaldy]

Wow, thanks Pensive. Im glad you enjoyed its wierdness.
best wishes
jerry

[dafydd manton]

Dear Mrs Bald D,

I regret I am instructed by Matron that I must tell you that Jerry's condition is worsening. Not only has he lost the ability to spell "weirdness", which should probably be "weirdity" anyway, he is claiming to have started a .Com business called Weird R Us. Maybe you should think about a change of medication.

Thank You

Yours Sincerely

Eric Gnomefumbler. (Mrs)

[Maryd.]

Now this is funny, Jerry... I chuckled all the way through this...
Mary