who's more emotional, men or women?

[SleepyWitch]

The other day I was reading an article about single-sex education (i.e. boys' schools and girls' schools) and it said that boys do better at art and other subjects to do with expressing yourself when they go to an all-boys school.
The article also said that boys are more emotional than girls, but did not explain this further or give examples.
I taught at an all-boys school for my training and my tutor also said that boys are very aware of what's going on around them and pick up on others' feelings etc.
I never thought about it this way before, because generally women are said to be more emotional. But it's true that my guy friends always understand how I feel even if I don't explain my feelings in detail, whereas with girls, I have to explain everything. So are girls more "emotional" in that they talk about emotions a lot but guys are more "emotional" in that they can sense other peoples' feelings and know what makes people tick? Or do guys and girls experience different emotions to different extents, e.g. guys tend to be more territorial and will feel attacked if other guys interfere with their belongings, touch them etc? Can you give examples from your experience?

[blazeofglory]

This is the hardest question to answer in point of fact. I am a man and I am more sensitive than my wife. Maybe it is the chemical substances or hormonal quotients in me that makes me more sentimental.

Some people become very responsive to an external stimuli . Judging this is a big challenge and in some cases women are so indifferent and men are quickly sensitized.

But on average women must be more emotional as per my observations.

[Lokasenna]

I think it depends largely on the person, though I think that there is a tendency (rightly or wrongly) to assume that women are more emotional than men.

Also, how do you define emotion? Some people make a big song and dance of their feelings, while others don't let it show; they're better at internalising it, but the emotion is still there.

[OrphanPip]

Men and women express emotion differently, but I don't know if you can define it in terms of which are more "emotional."

Studies show, looking at clinical depression, that it manifest in men as unaccountable rage and irritation, while in women it might manifest itself as occasional bouts of crying.

[Virgil]

I think they are equally emotional (other than PMS aside :p) only that they express it differently.

[Paulclem]

Is it the case that boys become less emotional due to expectations? I don't think it's the case that a person has x amount of emotional feeling, and that's it. I think it changes over time. Certainly young men are less emotional than older men who have had children because their circumstances are different. Men who have children, for example, will experience more emotion in response to their children.

[BienvenuJDC]

Emotion is a very general word that represent many different feelings...

While love and compassion are both emotions, so aren't anger and hate.

[Revolte]

Well, this might be local/cultural question at the end of the day. In these parts, based on observation, its NEITHER when it comes to people who are well for lack of a better word "gansta" and then the people who are a bit more mentally put together, it seems to me to be the men who get depressed more often.

[SleepyWitch]

Certainly young men are less emotional than older men who have had children because their circumstances are different. Men who have children, for example, will experience more emotion in response to their children.

That's an interesting idea. I've never thought of it that way, but it makes sense. There are some cases of tough guys mellowing a bit when they have children.

I've found an article that says the opposite, though (about young vs. older men).


Research does, however, make a good case for the presence of low-level alexithymia in most boys, Levant asserted. For starters, it shows that while boys begin life more emotionally expressive than girls, that tendency wanes as they get older. By age 2, they're less verbally expressive than girls, and by 4, they're less expressive facially.

Research on children from infancy through the school years shows how this can happen, he said. Mothers, for instance, expose baby girls to a wider range of emotions than baby boys, and work harder to control their sons' emotional volatility. Fathers step in to socialize their toddlers along gender lines at around 13 months, verbally rough-housing their sons and talking in more emotional terms with daughters. As kids get older, both parents foster this rift by discouraging sons from expressing vulnerable emotions and encouraging such expression in daughters.

Finally, Levant said, peer-group interactions cement boys' unhealthy emotional development by promoting structured group activities that foster toughness, teamwork, stoicism and competition. And "boy culture is notoriously cruel to boys who violate male norms," he said.

The emergence of the subclinical alexithymia scale--which Levant and Good hope to validate this year--should help clarify some of this murkiness, Kiselica and Levant agreed. It will be particularly interesting to use the scale to test generational differences among men, Kiselica commented. He suspects that younger men brought up with more androgynous gender roles will score lower in normative male alexithymia, while older men raised in more traditional ways will score higher.
.................................
http://www.apa.org/monitor/dec01/mummies.aspx

(alexithymia = deficiency in understanding, processing, or describing emotions)

[Paulclem]

There's also the thing about males acting tough - not showing emotions, when perhaps they do feel them.

Certainly in male groups, you don't get emotionally charged talk unless it's aggressive.
So I would agree with this:

"boy culture is notoriously cruel to boys who violate male norms,"

though I would also include young men. I'm only speaking from personal anecdotal experience though - which is limited.

[Scheherazade]

So are girls more "emotional" in that they talk about emotions a lot but guys are more "emotional" in that they can sense other peoples' feelings and know what makes people tick? Or do guys and girls experience different emotions to different extents, e.g. guys tend to be more territorial and will feel attacked if other guys interfere with their belongings, touch them etc? Are talking about being emotional or sensitive here as the examples provided are confusing me a little?

[SleepyWitch]

Are talking about being emotional or sensitive here as the examples provided are confusing me a little?

I suppose that's part of the question really, because that article about all-boys schools didn't really explain what they meant by "emotional".
So let's differentiate it:
1. who's more emotional: men or women?
2. who's more sensitive: men or women?

Would "sensitive" mean
a) "easily upset or offended by events or things that people say" or
b) "able to understand other people's feelings and problems" ?

[Paulclem]

I would say - again from personal and observed anecdotal information - that men are less sensitive in both the definitions, but more particularly about others feelings. I think blokes can learn that, but they've got to be prepared to learn.

[OrphanPip]

I would say - again from personal and observed anecdotal information - that men are less sensitive in both the definitions, but more particularly about others feelings. I think blokes can learn that, but they've got to be prepared to learn.

Some people tie that in to explaining why boys and men seem to have significantly higher suicide rates than women. They're less likely to seek help, and they feel more pressure to not appear emotionally vulnerable. Though, there's also evidence that men tend to be more successful at attempts, they tend towards use of guns and hanging more than women.

Psychological studies seem to consistently point towards men bottling up emotions, or keeping them private, than having less emotions. The issue of empathy towards others I think is something different.

[AimusSage]

I! think that men and women can be equally emotional, however, I also think that men tend to cope internally with emotions more so than women, who are more expressive, that is not to say that one is better than the other. Women talk about it, men deal with it. Just look at psychologist, and their patients, from experience I can tell that there are more women than men that visit psychologist, and they sure like to talk about it more... Coping mechanisms are very different, but to say one is more emotional than the other, I wouldn't know. I personally as a male am not very emotional, I feel little, but that to can cause emotion as sometimes I wish I was able to feel stronger emotions sometimes, and at other times I wonder why I feel the way I feel, I ponder, I think, but I don't speak to people, I figure it out myself. I am no typical human male, but society has an impact on how people cope. For instance, research suggest that men are more sensitive to relationships going bad than women and hurt more. There are so many variables when it comes to emotions. Anger is an emotion too, and considering hooliganism, I think men can be extremely emotional. It's just a thought.

Emotions are more than crying or eating ice cream when sad.

[Delta40]

I think society is structured to depict women as more emotional and men as rational. Women are allowed this because it is perceived as weak, which goes back to the old argument of battle of the sexes. women default to society's willingness to see them portrayed in this way for a whole host of reasons, mainly because they can and it is acceptable. women then reinforce the notion that they disagree with. society makes little room for men to be emotional (termed as lack of control and rationality) and yet their self-destructiveness, higher rates of suicide, violent crime and aggressiveness suggest perhaps they are just as out of control but these expressions of emotionality are somehow perceived as a moral right or wrong.

my opinion without reading on the topic.

[Paulclem]

Some people tie that in to explaining why boys and men seem to have significantly higher suicide rates than women. They're less likely to seek help, and they feel more pressure to not appear emotionally vulnerable. Though, there's also evidence that men tend to be more successful at attempts, they tend towards use of guns and hanging more than women.

Psychological studies seem to consistently point towards men bottling up emotions, or keeping them private, than having less emotions. The issue of empathy towards others I think is something different.

You may be right. There have been quite a few men killing spouse and children episodes recently too where they have clearly not been dealing with problems, but these are extremes, as may be the suicides.

[JuniperWoolf]

I've had a lot of boyfriends, and they've all cried a lot more than me. Also, from my experiences in classrooms, if girls don't get what they want or if they feel stupid they start bawling. The guys start yelling, hit stuff and run out of the classroom, then cry later. I've known everyone that I know for at least seventeen years, and I've seen almost all of them crying their eyes out, hitting inanimate objects, yelling, flipping out, ect. Humans are emotional. Gender doesn't seem to matter.

[Basil]

I've had a lot of boyfriends, and they've all cried a lot more than me.

Dating you, that's not all that surprising. :yesnod:

[JuniperWoolf]

Dating you, that's not all that surprising. :yesnod:

Hahaha, I was going to write "I've had a lot of boyfriends, and it was always pretty easy to make them cry," but I stopped myself just in time. Curse you Basil, you see right through me!

[Basil]

Living in fear of you as I do, I can understand the plight of those weepy gentlemen all too well.

[The Comedian]

I'm sorry ladies, but you all are more emotional than the guys -- as long as we're talkin' general tendencies here. I'm the only guy in a house of three women -- wife and two daughters -- and brother, this is one emotional place.

Here's a story -- not from my house but from a friend I know. Vanessa, this friend, has three kids, two boys and one girl. She says that she'd rather have three more boys than one girl because of the frantic moods of the girl.

It's okay that you're more emotional. I sort of like it, actually. And, if people like to bicker about rights and history, I think it's the villainization of this tendency that's the you should be pissed about. I think there's a lot of value in being more emotional. For one thing, in my experience at least, women are much better and empathizing with people and changing their mood when need or desire calls them to do so. Both of these are valuable skills that dopey men can't do very well. I also think that stronger or more diverse emotions enable women to see the significance in everyday phenomena and responsibilities better than men, and these in turn lead to a richer life. I think.

[Revolte]

Im the only one who voted for men?

ok let me just say this.

Cry Baby (with johnny depp): Good old Johnny filled a jar with his tears, while his girlfriend drank them.

[SleepyWitch]

Scher, are you gonna give us your two pence worth or did you just ask for clarification on behalf of the others?

Would it be fair to say that on average women want to share their feelings more with other women and expect their friends to feel the same?

[dafydd manton]

At least on Pudding Island - sorry, Britain - we've largely lost that awful stiff-upper-lippishness that was such a bane, and we geezers are more at liberty to show any emotion other than a faint Huzzah when we've just beaten off Johnny Foreigner, or thrashed that other (somewhat caddish) sports team. Not before time!

[Scheherazade]

Scher, are you gonna give us your two pence worth or did you just ask for clarification on behalf of the others?
Twice started writing a reply but gave up on both occassions after realising that it wouldn't be worth more than half a penny!

Don't have much to offer; I think both men and women can be emotional or sensitive depending on the issue at hand.