When West Wind Went By

[angliholic]

You simply went by, West Wind --
You simply blew out my candle and went by,
leaving a page not yet finished and the volume still in my hand,
leaving a room in darkness contrasted against the deep blue outside the window.
When a tung oil leaf floats down like the echo of the year long past,
like the book leaf gently closed by my fingers,
When the sentiments of young love at night condense in my eyes for lack of candlelight,
at this moment, I recall, in a natural way, the time of my youth.
Ah! my love went by, taking along my exuberant youth,
just as the west wind went by!



HI,

The above is an English rendition I made from a famous Chinese poem. I like the poem and that's why I post it here to share with you. Give me feedbacks if you like it! Thanks.

[mazHur]

You simply went by, West Wind --
You simply blew out my candle and went by,
leaving a page not yet finished and the volume still in my hand,
leaving a room in darkness contrasted against the deep blue outside the window.
When a tung oil leaf floats down like the echo of the year long past,
like the book leaf gently closed by my fingers,
When the sentiments of young love at night condense in my eyes for lack of candlelight,
at this moment, I recall, in a natural way, the time of my youth.
Ai! The time of my youth, my love went by just as west wind went by!



HI,

The above is an English rendition I made from a famous Chinese poem. I like the poem and that's why I post it here to share with you. Give me feedbacks if you like it! Thanks.

Nice theme!! however rendition could have been better if you had read the poem aloud to bring the lines in good rhythm!!

In any case, the theme is beautiful!!

I hope you don't mind my addition!!:)

Ah! my love went by
taking along my exuberant youth,
just as west wind went by!

[angliholic]

Thanks, mazHur, for gracing this thread and the comment.

I like your suggestion.

[mazHur]

Thanks, mazHur, for gracing this thread and the comment.

I like your suggestion.

dear me, you are always welcome!!:)

[PrinceMyshkin]

Would you consider adding

"just as the west wind went by"

which would make it fit colloquial English. Apart from that it's a beautifully flowing poem and the variation in the length of the lines is, to me, a very welcome part of it. Thank you for making it available.

[angliholic]

Would you consider adding

"just as the west wind went by"

which would make it fit colloquial English. Apart from that it's a beautifully flowing poem and the variation in the length of the lines is, to me, a very welcome part of it. Thank you for making it available.

Thanks, Prince, for your correction and feedback.

I'm learning from you every day!