Denial

[Hawkman]

Why should I sing
the praises of the harlot, love?
I am spared her careless charms
and I choose not to lie within her arms.

I do not pine, to breathe
of her intoxicating scent
or feel her touch to cozen me in sleep;
my heart is safe within my fortress’ keep.

Let honest stone
preserve me from assault,
the rabid hoards of passion, kept at bay
by curtain walls and cannonade.

And when at last I die,
place pennies on my eyes
and give the ferryman his due,
I will sail West without the memory of you.

Then let flame consume my husk
and let my ashes mingle in the dust.
Build a barrow, plant a tree
but do not weep, for I am free.

[downing]

And when at last I die,
place pennies on my eyes
and give the ferryman his due,
I will sail West without the memory of you.

Superbly written!


Then let flame consume my husk
and let my ashes mingle in the dust.
Build a barrow, plant a tree
but do not weep, for I am free.

Absolutely stunning! This is so Shakespere-like. Love the rhyme, it completes the poem lovely!
Adore it!

[dafydd manton]

I too thought that the imagery of "place pennies on my eyes, give the ferryman his due" was a lovely piece of imagery. Amazingly, you'd have thought such a piece would be a tad cynical, but it certainly isn't. As ever, really enjoyed it.

[hillwalker]

Again I seem to be reminded of John Donne's work..... a cynical but very humane view of mortality, misogyny and the transience of love; yet written with a true romantic's touch. One of your better ones Hawk.

H

[Hawkman]

Downing, thanks and I'm glad you enjoyed it. I wouldn't claim to be in the Big S's league though :D

Dafydd, thank 'ee too. Glad you enjoyed it (despite your preference for synicism :D )

hill, cheers matey, glad you liked it. Which of Donne's poems are you reminded of though? I didn't actually have any in mind when I wrote it.

Live and be well, H

[lallison]

I like the attitude, and, like downing, this brought to think of a Shakespearean character, from some tragic scene of lost love, biting his thumb and spitting at the strumpet. I dig this trend you're on. excellent stuff, and it sounds like you're putting some heart into it. Why did you name it Denial?

[PrinceMyshkin]

Of course I HATE the valetudinarian implication of this, but the grace of it - the grace! You write more naturally than one might designate an item one needs at the grocery.

[Hawkman]

Hi lall, glad it strikes a chord :D You have picked up on one aspect or possible interpretation, but the choice of title is deliberately ambiguous and depending on your mood you may read it differently if you visit it again.

Prince, I'm not sure why you would infer valetudinarianism in the poem. There is little in it to suggest the narrator is sickly or has a morbid preoccupation with his sense of health. However, I am exceedingly gratified that you find it well written. Incidentally, I believe Henry James would agonise over the composition of his shopping lists. :D

Always a pleasure to hear from you both. Incidentally, I will be away for a few days and will be suffering serious withdrawal by the time I get back. Don't have too much fun without me :D

Live and be well, H

[hillwalker]

Which of Donne's poems are you reminded of though? I didn't actually have any in mind when I wrote it.

No particular poem - especially since most of his poetry refers to leaving his mistress's bed rather than dismissing love as such - but your 'voice' in this piece put me in mind of the great master.

H

[Hawkman]

No particular poem - especially since most of his poetry refers to leaving his mistress's bed rather than dismissing love as such - but your 'voice' in this piece put me in mind of the great master.

H

That's interesting hill. I had the meat of the first line zap me as I was going to bed last night and I scribbled some notes before i turned in. Strangely those notes were more Homer than Donne. Lots of stuff about funeral pyres and Games. (which just goes to show you should never think how good your notes are :D I worked up the finished poem this morning. I Don't think Ive got much Donne (awful pun) in my anthologies. I ought to pay him more attention.

Best, H

[Bar22do]

So eventually we learn your first name is William! :) I'm amazed, as often, at your work. But, try as you could, for me you'll remain an incurable romantic (with an army for self-defense against it)! These spaces between lines tell me.
Your rhymes transport the contents deftly and smoothly... A very good moment of reflection on life, death and Love, not necessarily impermanent (if you forgive my feeble female's opinion)! Pennies on eyes is an Eastern European custom - is it English as well?
A skillful wonderful piece. Good travels to you - Bar (I too may have to travel for some time)

[PrinceMyshkin]

Prince, I'm not sure why you would infer valetudinarianism in the poem. There is little in it to suggest the narrator is sickly or has a morbid preoccupation with his sense of health.

No, of course these lines




Then let flame consume my husk
and let my ashes mingle in the dust.


among others should NOT have suggested to me that this was in any sense a memento mori poem. How obtuse of me!

However, rereading the whole gave me a fresh experience of your blithe mastery of verse. Thank you.

[Hawkman]

No, of course these lines




Then let flame consume my husk
and let my ashes mingle in the dust.


among others should NOT have suggested to me that this was in any sense a memento mori poem. How obtuse of me!

However, rereading the whole gave me a fresh experience of your blithe mastery of verse. Thank you.

My Prince. I'm still glad you enjoyed the poem but the reference to death is meant to be taken as a natural death at the end of a natural life, hence, "And when at last I die" thus the reference to funeral pyres should be inferred as referring to some indeterminate future event. This being the case perhaps the last part of the final line, "...for I am free." might possibly be better as "...for I'll be free." However, the sense I was trying to convey was that the narrator, refering to the, "you" mentioned in S4, was already free, having banished the person from their heart and memory.

Sorry if this is not clear.

Best, H

[Hawkman]

So eventually we learn your first name is William! :) I'm amazed, as often, at your work. But, try as you could, for me you'll remain an incurable romantic (with an army for self-defense against it)! These spaces between lines tell me.
Your rhymes transport the contents deftly and smoothly... A very good moment of reflection on life, death and Love, not necessarily impermanent (if you forgive my feeble female's opinion)! Pennies on eyes is an Eastern European custom - is it English as well?
A skillful wonderful piece. Good travels to you - Bar (I too may have to travel for some time)


Sweet Bar, You give me too much credit, but I'll admit to a shade of romanticism :)

Certainly the payment of the ferryman is a legacy of classical antiquity, although originally the coin was placed in the mouth of the deceased. But yes, the custom of placing coins on the eyes of the dead goes way back in these islands, but exactly how far back I don't know, certainly as far as medeival times and probably longer (although less common nowadays).

I hope you don't have to travel too far and for too long. Your absence would be sorely felt.

Be Well, H

[blank|verse]

Yes, it does read at first like it's a bit too self-pitying...

but then the use of the archaic diction alerts the reader to the fact the narrator is too knowing and deliberately melodramatic not to be aware of this, thus winning sympathy by the poem's close. Hurrah!


I Don't think Ive got much Donne (awful pun)
Don't worry - he did exactly the same thing!