The Litnets Old People's Institution

[Jerrybaldy]

In a time to come :

At the Litnet Old People's Instititution
for those with poetic mind pollution
they wander dazed, these hallowed halls
wetting their pants and defacing the walls
with poems once posted as brand new threads
and they chant these old verses as they lay in their beds.
These inmates befuddled, bereft and absurd
would write a new poem but know not a word
to begin with, to end with, to put in the middle
their once creative juices, a puddle of piddle.
And in the secure wards, for the poetically insane
Three men who will never make comment again.
PrinceMyshkin, now so frail and thin
likes to sleep in a wheely bin
He recites his old lines, in his green plastic locker
The old barking bard, now right off his rocker.
The one they call Hill or with respect Mr Walker
the octogenarians hide from this stalker,
but they like Mr Hawk, oh how they love to mingle
But all these years on he's still bloody single.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Hey! This would be funny (and actually is) but who peed in your corn-flakes or whatever you have for breakfast in your neck of the woods?

I for one do post new poems, and Hillwalker and Hawkman, in my admittedly senior opinion, are among the most talented people in this forum.

[dafydd manton]

Mnk....who...What.....I mean,,, grmffpf...what...is this Jerrybaldy? Speak up, I can't hear you. Don't you know who I am? What do you mean, ask Matron, and she'll tell me? Mnk....wasn't like that in my day.

[Jerrybaldy]

Hey Prince. its set in the future, thought that was a given :P Gonna set a prologue for that now. And of course, I didnt chose you three without reason, the father, son and the holy ghost of this place. Chose your order. Think its known as a roasting ;)
BW
JB

[Bar22do]

Sorry, Baldy, I find it vulgar and offensive. Not funny at all. And I wish the administration removed your thread as improper on this forum.
I hope your next post will be one of sincere apology to the concerned.

Bar

P.S. your prologue doesn't help the situation IMO

[Jerrybaldy]

dafyddddddzzzzzzzzzzz. What? No need to shout. I think I just shat myself. (dribble) Something about Tom Jones (mumble) (or the mumbles) pass the everton mints.

[Jerrybaldy]

Dont understand Bar. In my mind this is flattery and a roasting to all three concerned. Maybe its an English thing, although I think roasting is an American traditiion, but I seriously have no idea where you are coming from, seems obvious to me its affectionate and nothing more. It was an imagining of a future where all people on here now are quite mad and in an institution for litnetters, if that seems like a plausible insult, its lost on me. I chose the three as the represntatives of us all as the three most well know and respected. Didnt expect to be explaining this. The start of the poem covers us all, the second half covers the secure wards, the poetically insane, therefore the poets of poets.
regards
JB

[dafydd manton]

Bar, I can understand that you're a bit upset, but this is just a peculiar example of the odd British sense of humour. Misplaced at times, peculiar, but not malicious. More, taking the rise out of people we admire. One thing about the brit sense of humour is that you would never treat people you didn't like or admire in such a way. We would be far more *****y, believe me. I don't think Jerry meant any harm - in fact, I would guarantee it, so don't be too upset, please. Those named are, without doubt, the cream of the Forum, and Jerry knows it as well as you or I do.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Hey Prince. its set in the future, thought that was a given :P Gonna set a prologue for that now. And of course, I didnt chose you three without reason, the father, son and the holy ghost of this place. Chose your order. Think its known as a roasting ;)
BW
JB

With this reference to "the father, son and the holy ghost of this place" you might now have added Christians to those you offended. What's left? Muslims? The French? Cripples? Those with ALS?

[Bar22do]

"Dont understand Bar. In my mind this is flattery and a roasting to all three concerned. Maybe its an English thing, although I think roasting is an American traditiion, but I seriously have no idea where you are coming from, seems obvious to me its affectionate and nothing more.
regards
JB"

come on, you can't fool me into it, though I appreciate your efforts to mask your initial impulse. A direct apology would be more honest, though.

"Bar, I can understand that you're a bit upset, but this is just a peculiar example of the odd British sense of humour. Misplaced at times, peculiar, but not malicious. More, taking the rise out of people we admire. One thing about the brit sense of humour is that you would never treat people you didn't like or admire in such a way. We would be far more *****y, believe me. I don't think Jerry meant any harm - in fact, I would guarantee it, so don't be too upset, please. Those named are, without doubt, the cream of the Forum, and Jerry knows it as well as you or I do."

Sorry, Dafydd, to have to disagree with you concerning the above. JB didn't show any sense of humour, sure not British, my English is good enough to read exactly what he wrote. Moreover, if you think he needs an attorney, it's a sign he's in trouble. Best to you - Bar

[Jerrybaldy]

I remember it being quoted in American Pie by Don Mclean with little offence. If people are offended by things with no offence in them, then Im not about to tiptoe. That is political correctness and I want no part of it.

[Jerrybaldy]

No effort to mask anything Bar. I have told you the truth and you can make of it what you will.
JB

[dafydd manton]

Bar - I may not agree with with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. (I just hate to see somebody being upset!)

[Jerrybaldy]

Before I get ageism added to my offences I have no idea of your age Prince it was irrelevant. I know Hill is retired and I had it in my mind that Hawk is fairly young. Was just an imaginary place where all litnetters were (in my mind) comically wandering around trying to still write.

[Jerrybaldy]

In my world we take the piss out of people we like. Its not done when you first meet, but a sign of friendship is when you can insult each other jokingly without offence given or taken. As dafydd said its a whole different thing to insulting someone you dislike. My name on here is jerrybaldy as someone I work with named me that after a biscuit called garibaldi (as I have lost my hair). It seems in reading here I should have took offence. I took no offence, I took it that we are now at a stage beyond strangers. I like my world. Bar demands an apology. I apologise for not knowing my world was so different from yours
JB

[Haunted]

I got a sense it's supposed to be funny just by reading the title. Part of it is funny and I can even see myself in the institution, but part of it is a little depressing but I didn't think for one moment that its meant to be offensive although I do understand Bar's position.

[Jerrybaldy]

Ok Ok. I can see how this poem can be misinterpretated on re-reading and re- reading. But this is how it went. I get an idea for a poem set in the future where by the given of poetic licence we are all of the same age and wandering around in some nursing home for ex poets. i write a few (funny?) lines and then I introduce characters. Who to introduce? The main three. Not on terms of age (that I dont know) but on terms of recognition and respect. My apologies for the misinterpratation that in hindsight I left myself open to.
ended
JB

[Delta40]

Damn! I typed something deep and meaningful then pressed the wrong button and lost it all! I thought your poem was highly entertaining and also complimentary to the poets you admire on lit-net. Unfortunately, interpretation is open to interpretation and I am only sorrythe poem may not have been received in the context it was written

[hillwalker]

Perhaps it's my age and my venerable views on the members who frequent this forum, but I honestly took Bar's comments right from the beginning to be very much tongue-in-cheek.
If I am wrong then put it down to my marbles, which seem to keep falling from these frail, fumbling fingers.
And Jerry, if you were to offer an apology I would throw it back in your face, you young whipper-snapper.
I feel honoured to be incarcerated, institutionalised or whatever the word is (on the tip of my.... that t word..... damn, my memory's not what it used to be) with the likes of Prince and Hawk. Anyone remember watching 'One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest'?
As for Father, Son and Holy Ghost..... the mind boggles (well mine does anyway, regularly).

A very clever, witty piece Jerry.... for those who truly take offence, press that little arrow button top left corner (it's what it's there for).
And for the record, I retired early (but how early I'm not letting on in case I get chucked out of the home for 'stalking').
H

[dafydd manton]

And if we're going to mention trinities, "Amen to that!" Nice comment, Hill.

[Hawkman]

What's this? Someone taking my name in vain? Who is this upstart? Ah, the hairless one, I see. Well, speaking personally, I can't say that I'm particularly offended, Not by the content, anyway, as to be envisaged as single in my dotage is probably not too far from the truth. Of course if I suddenly become obscenely wealthy I will almost certainly become irresistable to the fairer sex, so you never know :D It seems to me that it's poor Prince M that gets the worst of this.

No, I'm more distressed by the execution than by the content; when the metre breaks down and by the incorrect use of "lay" which is one of my pet hates :D

Should the author be visited by unsympathetic gentlemen in dark glasses and brandishing silenced firearms, it will not be I who sent them. I'd check them for Canadian accents.

TTFN H

[Bar22do]

My good friend JBaldy, if you think you "shat" yourself, as you say, you might be right... and I truly appreciate your attempts at apologizing. Especially this sincere bit:

"Ok Ok. I can see how this poem can be misinterpretated on re-reading and re- reading. But this is how it went. I get an idea for a poem set in the future* where by the given of poetic licence we are all of the same age and wandering around in some nursing home for ex poets. i write a few (funny?) lines and then I introduce characters. Who to introduce? The main three. Not on terms of age (that I dont know) but on terms of recognition and respect. My apologies for the misinterpratation that in hindsight I left myself open to.
ended"

(* added after Prince's reaction, plus nothing tells in your poem the N counts himself among the institution's "wetting their pants and defacing the walls, (...) befuddled, bereft and absurd")

I have to commend you, also, for your instincts and resulting quick reflexes; for your sharp intelligence with which you handle your blunder. The concerned (except PM), as well as the others who commented here, came to this thread late. Had they read it as was, un-prologued and not yet discussed, there's a good chance they would have felt differently than what they've manifested here.
And the issue here isn't whether the mentioned are offended (they’re grown enough to be above), but that your post was originally offensive (it doesn't change much it was unintended).

So no hill, I was not speaking tongue-in-cheek, thanks for offering this elegant "way out", but no need. I find it regretful you (and others) reinforce this young man, otherwise talented (and, as he's already proved, capable of chanelling his talent much better), in his “right” to disrespect others instead of learning to think before he acts.

With this, I ended, as well.

All my good wishes to you all.

Successful posting!

Bar

[hillwalker]

So no hill, I was not speaking tongue-in-cheek, thanks for offering this elegant "way out", but no need. I find it regretful you (and others) reinforce this young man, otherwise talented (and, as he's already proved, capable of chanelling his talent much better), in his “right” to disrespect others instead of learning to think before he acts.

I would just like to add, Bar, that your comment took me by surprise because I have never had anyone be offended on my behalf before today - and I always subscribed to the saying - 'Age forgives youth everything; and forgives itself nothing' or words to that effect.

Be well, H

[Alexander III]

This isn't offensive, you may not find it funny granted, but the only way for it to be offensive is if you search for it in the poem. It seems lighthearted, and if anything JB should be the one who is apologized to for this ridiculous attack on a poem which was light and not trying to insult anyone rather give praise in a comedic manner.

[AuntShecky]

Aw, "We kid, we kid the Lit Net. We kid because we looooovvvve."

You know, I don't know whether to be grateful or to be offended that Yours Fooly was omitted. But for me the Old Folk's home gets closer every day.

"By the bye" ( a geezer-ly expression), I second Hawkman's comments about the form. Also, the apostrophe is missing from "LitNet 's " in the title.

[Jerrybaldy]

I think I best just put this one to bed by burying it in the lovely south facing garden outside the institution. Next to the nettles.

It would be a dull world indeed if we all agreed.

As a post note my grammar is likely often flawed. I am unlicenced. Or is that unlicensed? Either way you get the gist and I am always happy to receive corrections and learn a bit along the way. Would also like to thank everyone for the 'young' comments. At 45 I guess it's all relevant.

Thanks to all concerned for getting involved . It was fun. At times.
BW
JB