The blind poet

[PrinceMyshkin]

Every blind practitioner of this trade
lifts her eyes occasionally to the dome
of her skull and sees there multitudes
ascending or trying to ascend
to that variously named place
- her late mother’s lap, heaven,
truth, the arms of that one lover
among others who fit
just so around her - she sees them
and tries - Lord, how hard she tries -
to keep them there before her inner eyes.

[AuntShecky]

The premise as well as the execution of this is first-rate. But that killer closing couplet is the crux of the poem.

In your opinion, how does the assertion of your verse here differ from this famous one?:

http://www.bartleby.com/101/318.html

[PrinceMyshkin]

In your opinion, how does the assertion of your verse here differ from this famous one?:

http://www.bartleby.com/101/318.html

Mine is shorter and perhaps less oratorical....

[blank|verse]

A wonderful evocation of the process of poetic inspiration, Prince, from Homer to hillwalker! This is surely deserving of more comment than it has so far garnered, and is a nice counterbalance to your previous, more prosaic piece.

There's some startling imagery:

lifts her eyes occasionally to the dome
of her skull and sees there multitudes
ascending
The poem is one long sentence, which nicely reflects the subject. I know it's your style to be conversational, but I found the language a bit too chatty for this poem, when I felt it should be a bit more decisive and convinced of its own argument. Perhaps this betrays the poet's wish to make it one sentence, and the subsequent reliance on subordination?

As for the rhyming couplet - 'inner eyes' is a nice touch, reminding the reader of Wordsworth's similarly inspirational daffodils, 'flash upon that inward eye | Which is the bliss of solitude' - and there's a nice tension between the struggle of the poet described and the narrator. One could even read a little arrogance into it - [I]you may struggle, but look how easy I find it to resolve my poems on a nice clinching full-rhyme and line of iambic pentameter!

Great poem, Prince.

[hillwalker]

b|v - I was trying to savour this some more before passing comment, then you go and put your foot in it.....

I was entranced by the image, Prince, of the blind poet seeking inspiration from her subconscious. And the touching way you distill her thoughts and struggles to convert memory to poetry.

I will admit that I found the - Lord, how hard she tries - phrase rather too reminiscent of the negro-spiritual - but that is down to my personal taste rather than your craft.

Elegant and profound as ever..... and that sound you hear is Homer turning in his grave no doubt.

H

[Bar22do]

This is a fine inspiration, playing with the feminine, the receptive, the inner, where art springs from and endows life with the particles of wisdom...

and perhaps she doesn't have to try so hard, expression is often in surrender...

Thanks for this reading - best - Bar

[Hawkman]

This is so succinct a thought expressed so elegently it really defies coment by one such as I, who wields his art like a blunt instrument of satire. I enjoyed the rhetorical devices you used, whilst wondering why you confined the subject to the feminine.

Good stuff, Prince. H

[Jerrybaldy]

Hello prince
such is the depth of your work, that to me, I usually understand it more after having read the comments of more informed netters than myself, including the rabble above :) I at first thought the subject's blindness was a metaphor and then having read Hill's response I decided the subject was actually blind, but it was an analogy of how we all scrabble about in the dark in the search of poetic imagery.

Either way or neither way, I enjoyed the read.
Cheers
JB

[lallison]

charming and metacognative as ever PM. Glad to see you haven't lost your edge over the past month, (it's the tipple that'll do it to you). I also appreciated the use of the feminine to represent us all, as opposed to the standard. Very sensitive and up to the times. You capture the images we all see when others think we are looking into space. It's actually inner space we are looking into, isn't it.


(and we all are in some way blind)
Do you think it's necessary to be so telling? I think you could cut it without altering the meaning, and for me, that means to do so.

But it's a lovely poem. Thanks for the insight.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Many thanks to all of you. I was away for a day and a night and most of the next day or I'd have replied sooner.

Hillwalker: re the possible echo of a black spiritual: not intended but I'd be proud if it were so.

Blank|Verse re the possible arrogance of the rhyming end-couplet: Ouch! I've said elsewhere that my personality hovers somewhere between Superman & Schmuck...This may have been an instance of the latter mistaking himself for the former.

Bar: thanks for the invigorating contrast between trying & surrender.

JerryBaldly: I love your analogy between the blindness and the fact that we all at times work in and from the darkness of our subconscious.

Hawkman: re the gender of my subject: It was either that tedious "she or he" or my disquiet at the traditional default male. (See my reply to Lallison)

Lallison: thank you for appreciating my choice of feminine for the subject. There's no adequate compensation, is there, for the millennia of attributing masculinity to virtually every poetic Everyperson?

[PrinceMyshkin]

Do you think it's necessary to be so telling? I think you could cut it without altering the meaning, and for me, that means to do so.


Thank you. The offending line is now gone.

[Hawkman]

Good decision Prince. As it stood before I was reminded of a presidential address, (written by Dustin Hoffman) in the film, Wag the Dog. Not so much the content, but the rhetorical style and rhythm. Don't know if you've seen the film, but it is a wonderful satire.

Best, H

[PrinceMyshkin]

Good decision Prince. As it stood before I was reminded of a presidential address, (written by Dustin Hoffman) in the film, Wag the Dog. Not so much the content, but the rhetorical style and rhythm. Don't know if you've seen the film, but it is a wonderful satire.

Best, H

I did see and enjoy it but don't remember much of it now. I wrote something once during the last Bush era called "The President will lie to us tonight" which just about sums up my take on politics...

[Hawkman]

I'd love to read it Prince. Going to be a way for a few days so I will miss all the fun here :D Be back Monday. Best, H