Shifting Personality

[tainaprincess]

Who am I?
Who do you see?
Am I the person you seek?
Have I changed?
Or am I the same?
I wish I knew who I was,
So that I might know who I’m giving you.
My identity is a mystery to me,
Can you help to piece me together?
I am neither him nor her,
Neither here nor there.
I am everywhere at once,
Yet nowhere all the time.
Why must my identity be so elusive,
When all I want is for the mystery to be over?
Pretty words and a fake mentality is all you see,
But who is hidden under all of me?
Not a word of truth I speak,
Yet none can think to question me.
This façade the world sees,
Is getting harder and harder to keep.
Help me uncover the truth of me,
Or else the true me in eternal rest will sleep.
Shame on the world for making me thus,
But for keeping a secret, shame on us.
I can feel her rising,
Rising up in a foul temper against me,
But as she is the true me,
There is nothing I can do to stomp her away.
Will she be the death of me?
Or will she be the rescuer I seek?
The world is fading fast,
Please, pull me back.
If this me is gone this once,
Will I ever come back, just once?
She has been suppressed so long,
Can I ever shove her in a drawer,
Locked in a vault with a key,
Ever again?
She seems so much stronger now,
My strength is fading,
And I see my end.




Here is my new beginning:
No longer will my other self reign,
No longer will lies overrule the truth.
There is no turning back from here.
I’ve come too far,
Seen too much.
Everyone has their firm opinions of me,
No one knows the reality of my being.
NO ONE can push me down,
I will not be silenced!!
There is a sort of comfort in my presence;
It is only because they believe in my shadow.
My shadow, my other self,
That other being that is no longer me,
Only existed to bring me strength,
To prepare me for the road ahead.
All the challenges ahead flit to nothing,
Compared to the surprise that awaits everyone.
I will not be suppressed,
And vengeance will be mine.
Those who used me,
Those who walked all over me,
Will rue today.
They will remember it as the beginning of the end.
That “patient” me is dead,
My vision blurred in a haze of red.
No longer will I be known as “the good girl”,
But as the embodiment of pure power.
There is no doubt about it,
No one will survive the impending disaster.
No one, that is,
Except me.
There is no room for failure,
For failure means the end to all of me,
Even the me you know and love.
Am I still the same person you fell in love with?
Or have I changed completely?
This is the true me,
The girl you once met,
Is forever gone,
The girl you see standing before you,
Is here to stay.


[Hawkman]

Sorry, I can't read this. My eyes can't cope. Please, please, please, chose a more legible font. Some of us don't have young eyes.

Best, H

[PrinceMyshkin]

This is strongest, I feel, until the break, after which it becomes a lot of unsupported assertions, but there is truth in that first part, in how we all seek for a lover to validate us - and then doubt whether he or she has seen the real us.

[Hawkman]

Thanks for changing the font. :)

I'm with Prince on this one. The first part reads well and comes over as a strong poem. It ends and then we seem to be given a second poem designed to justify the first. I think overall though you need to decide which is the more powerful piece or perhaps do some editing to try and combine both elements without quite so much reiteration of the same basic premise. Perhaps a little enhancement of the narrative structure may help.

Thanks for the interesting read.

H

[tainaprincess]

Thanks for the feedback. When I originally wrote this piece, I was actually not sure whether to write it as two separate poems or just one. The first half was to be my current personality, or rather, the one everyone sees, and the second half, the personality is slowly being unfolded - which can explain why there is such uncertainty in the way it was written; it is not fully out in the open yet. I will continue to work on it, and I will keep in mind what you have both said.

[tainaprincess]

This is an "I Am" Poem I wrote during a demonstration that was being given to my students:

Contradictions

I am the music floating free,
I am the puppet trapped in the box.
I am a shooting star at night,
I am a delinquent locked in a cell.
I am the cascades flowing tranquilly,
I am the lava rushing to burst forth from the mouth of the volcano.
I am the kite soaring higher than ever before,
I am the fish in the tank watching life pass me by.
I am the potion of success that thirsts for more,
I am the impending failure of love.
I am the beach on a hot sunny day,
I am the storm brewing at sea.
I am the rose blooming in a winter storm,
I am the frost-bite on your finger in June.
I am the soft raindrops pattering at your window,
I am the rushing wind slapping greedily at your face.
I am the seedling breaking through the ground, full of life,
I am the fallen tree, rotting and left for dead.
I am knowledge,
I am ignorance.
I am love,
I am hate.
I am full of likenesses,
I am full of contradictions.

[Jerrybaldy]

Re: Shifting personality. I hate to jump aboard a band wagon, but I agree that the strength of the piece is in the first part. I found the first part intriguing and curious and a really enjoyable read.

One couplet jarred a little, I thought - 'If this me is gone this once,
Will I ever come back, just once?' - the repitition of once jumped out at me.

The second part seemed unnecessary or, as I think was suggested above, could have been edited down and included in the first.

best wishes
Jerry

[tainaprincess]

Thanks. That second part is still a work in progress because, as I stated earlier, it is the part of me I feel trying to push forward, but I'm still searching for some way to properly express that. I actually did consider merging the two, and italicizing the inner voice, so that it almost seems like a conversation between the two main personalities, but I'm still playing around with that idea.

[hillwalker]

Your 'I am' poem was very enjoyable - I particularly liked the contradictions of

I am the rose blooming in a winter storm,
I am the frost-bite on your finger in June.

H

[tainaprincess]

Thank you.

[tainaprincess]

Frustrations :rage:

Frustration
Invisibility
Madness
Outrage
Anger
The complete and total surrender of emotions in that one single moment
A moment of ecstasy in that total silence
Then,
Disappointment
Distress
Inner-calm
Can you feel the heat rushing up?
At any moment the surge of emotions will erupt,
And there will be no turning back.
No one will be spared by my wrath,
It is better for it to be under lock and key,
Than for it to be let loose.
Everyone says they understand,
But no one ever really does.
Annoyance
Surrender
Consequences
Can nobody notice the calm that always comes before the storm?
The storm is brewing,
At first quietly and slowly,
Then rushing forth with a violence that is totally unprecedented.
The storm has now passed,
And all that remains is deathly still.
No one dares ever underestimate the extreme calmness ever again.
The few that survive the attack,
Will remember it always.
The recent events will be forever passed down from generation to generation.
The temper remains unabated,
And everyone sees it can erupt again,
All too quickly.
If ever again it erupts,
Everything will be wiped out,
All existence be made null and void.
Never again will we see flowers and light,
Nor animals frolicking about.
Everything will be dull and gray,
All happiness washed away.
Yet, even in the direst of situations,
The slightest flicker of hope remains.
Peace.
Delight.
Calm.
Visibility.
Encouragement...
For now.

[Delta40]

Mmm. I didn't see the I am poem as contradictions. We are all these things as the time demands, which means circumstances call for different approaches and responses. Anyway, you got me thinking!

[tainaprincess]

True, which makes us change constantly. However, thinking rationally, these things are on opposite sides of their respective spectrums, therefore, being contradictions of each other.

[Delta40]

Well if you want to confuse me more, read this over a cup of coffee! I think I'll take your poem as it is!

A contradiction arises when two ideas each make the other impossible. Contradictions don't exist in reality because reality simply is as it is and does not contradict itself. Only our evaluations of reality can contradict each other. If you think you have found a contradiction, then check your premises. Either you're mistaken about it being a contradiction or one of the contradicting concepts has been improperly formed.

If the content of your knowledge contains contradictions, then some of your knowledge is in error. Because in order to be successful in reality one must know reality, success requires correct knowledge. It is therefore important to continually search for and root out contradictions in your knowledge in order to make sure that your knowledge corresponds to reality. The two primary methods for doing this are logic, the art of non-contradictory identification, and integration.

lol now I need a beer...

[tainaprincess]

lol, those are sound arguments you make, my dear Delta40. In this case, I guess instead of contradictions it would have been a debate: my very being is constantly debating whether to be one way or another, and it ends up contradicting itself because it doesn't know what is the correct knowledge - it is constantly changing. Logically speaking, a person's personality doesn't really change. However, since everything and everyone around us is constantly changing, we are constantly adjusting the very essence of who we are, at times, to prove to others that we do belong where we are. Since we are constantly changing and adjusting, in this sense, we are forming contradictions because at a given moment our knowledge is correct, but when looked at in retrospect, we realize that it wasn't who we were, nor who we will be.

Have one for me too (even though I don't drink) :)

[Delta40]

I believe you! I didn't write that bosh earlier - I pasted it from a philosophy on contradictions....that is why my head is spinning.

[tainaprincess]

Lol, well, it makes sense. Luckily, I had to take a couple philosophy classes in college, and being a math major, I have to look at things logically.

[Delta40]

lol - I'm just a woman who is emotionally and irrationally determined so that might be why I am so confused....I will cry with my friend over coffee - maybe she can help me with my lack of understanding.

(I'm just laughing at myself today!)

I like your self analysis style in your poetry taina

[tainaprincess]

Thank you.

And laughter is always the best medicine, and it is even healthier to be able to laugh at yourself. Unfortunately, I lack that particular quality. As far is being irrational, that is always a good thing because it means that you are more creative, more imaginative, and more fun. Trust me, being logical isn't always all it's cracked up to be.

[tainaprincess]

Long Ago Summers

Summer.
Hot.
Humid,
Sunny.
Summer.
So long,
Yet too short.
Nothing to do
But while the day away.
Yet in that time,
Borinquen's children
Play their favorite pastime...
Baseball.
When it's sizzling hot,
They grab whatever's handy,
And in the tobacco and sugar fields,
Boricuas everywhere,
Enjoy their version of
"America's pastime."
With bats made of sticks,
Or simply their hands or fists,
They hit homers,
The balls being rocks,
Balled up socks or rags,
Or golf balls.
Snacks aren't just peanuts and hot dogs.
No,
They have emapanadas,
Piragüas,
Limbers,
Bacalaitos,
Alcapurrias,
Quenepas,
And so much more.
They don't "do" fast food.
Borinqueñas supply their own food,
Bringing arroz con gandules,
Pollo asa'o,
Lechón,
And maltas.
Hours and hours go by,
And yet no one seems to tire.
Just another typical day at Borinquen,
During this season.
The season of Summer.
Hot.
Humid.
Steamy.
Sunny.
Sizzling Summer