The Cold

[Hawkman]

Why did God invent the common cold,
I mean really, what’s the point?
The hacking cough and sneezing
and all those aching joints
just make you feel debilitated
when you’ve been slyly infiltrated by the germ.

Now the black death was a proper plague
served a purpose more than vague,
it culled the surplus overspill
of people when it killed.
But not the Cold;
a Cold just leaves you feeling old.

Hunched up in your favourite chair
with running nose, you sit and stare
at daytime telly, when normally
you’d rather open up your belly
than sit and watch a programme made
for broadcast at that time of day.

A temperature in winter
sort of makes more sense;
it helps to warm you up a bit
when heating bills cost pence.
But in the summer it’s just wrong
to sit and overheat for long.

Of course, there is the sympathy of friends,
provided that they happen to be men.
Women just ignore your pain,
call it Man-Flu, demanding you get up again
and mow the lawn, or do the shopping -
not a hint of mopping fevered brow.

So silently you sit and suffer
streaming mucus like a salted slug
and spluttering discomfort rules your life.
Until it leaves, it more than peeves.
But consolation can be found in whiskey -
it may not be a cure, but after two or three
a cold is far more easily endured.

[Jerrybaldy]

Very enjoyable Hawk. You captured the misery of the stronger, male version of the common cold ;)
Will there be a follow up - Atchoo The cold 2 ?
BW
JB

[Delta40]

This was highly entertaining Hawk. You have wonderful wit and imagination!

[hillwalker]

Bless you, Hawk..... and I can't wait until you move on to the topic of PMT(or perhaps Swine Flu might be a safer bet)

[PrinceMyshkin]

How fluently your wit flows! Thank you.

[Hawkman]

Very enjoyable Hawk. You captured the misery of the stronger, male version of the common cold ;)
Will there be a follow up - Atchoo The cold 2 ?
BW
JB

Thanks jerry, the next instalment will probably be called H5N1 :D


This was highly entertaining Hawk. You have wonderful wit and imagination!

Thanks D40, but as you may have gathered, I also have a cold! :ack2:


Bless you, Hawk..... and I can't wait until you move on to the topic of PMT(or perhaps Swine Flu might be a safer bet)

Thanks to you too, hill, but I don't feel qualified to coment on PMT. :D


How fluently your wit flows! Thank you.

Thanks, Prince, It has to, in order to keep up with my running nose :)

Live long and prosper. H

[Bar22do]

Were my nose running, I wouldn't have been able to think and write - your wit defies the virus! good for you! Refuah shelema!*
from - Bar

*prompt recovery!

[Delta40]

hot water with ginger and lemon for you!

[Hawkman]

Sweet Bar, Your generous encouragement, sympathy and appreciation would soothe any fevered brow. So thank you.

D40, A sound reccomendation, so I'll add them to my medicaments but I will still be employing the whiskey (any excuse) :D

[AuntShecky]

Few things are worse than a summer cold! Hope you get better soon!

This was a cute light verse. Reminds me of "Adelaide's Lament" in Guys and Dolls by the great Frank Loesser.

[Hawkman]

Hi Auntie and thanks for your good wishes. I can see why you would see the connection but somehow I can't see myself writing a poem that was actually in favour of marriage :D

In fact I was at a wedding today, in my professional capacity, and although it was a fairly enjoyable affair as these things go, I can't imagine actually pining away because I wasn't married. In fact, having refreshed myself with the lyrics of the lament, the lady in question doesn't even seem to be pining for a specific individual, just for the status. A dangerous obsession that. It can lead to all sorts of woes.

I think my next offering may have something to say about the dreaded institution :)

Live long and prosper, H

[dafydd manton]

Cracking poem, Hawk. Summed up the sheer misery, which of course those poor painted creatures we call women never suffer as badly. Then you get all that fuss about having babies. Do they realise how stressful it is, driving a screaming woman to the hospital? Of course, as soon as you get a cold, every woman you ever knew is offering advice, cures, mares, nostrums and general quackery. (Actually, Im just having my website updated, and there's an article on there called Getting the Lurgi, covering that very subject). There is only one known palliative. Take half a glass of Blended whisky, or whiskey. Warm in the hand, and then add another half a glass of whisky or whiskey. Consume. Repeat. Repeat. Ish ver' good, ole boy! Hic!

[Delta40]

get better soon hawk, although your poetry is as good as ever

[Hawkman]

Dafydd, bach,

I only indulge in single malts :D My personal experience of transporting heavily gravid females in the throws of labour generally resulted in a highly stressfull journey to the hospital followed by an hour's wait before being sent home as the contractions had ceased. This procedure would then be repeated half an hour later. After about 3 false starts the offending infant would eventually emerge and wonder what all the fuss was about, but not for long, as it promptly went to sleep.

Thanks D40 for your good wishes and the compliment. So's yours by the way.

Live long and prosper folks, H

[Jerrybaldy]

it was invented on the 12th day. those who have not shall have snot. particularly you poets in devon.

[Hawkman]

Oh woe, woe and thrice woe! just call me job ;)

[Jerrybaldy]

Hi Job