A Sea of Delightful Daisies

[angliholic]

A Sea of Delightful Daisies


When I went rushing for gold
A while ago,
My life was under a sky of gray woes.


When I start casting my eyes
On soothing day's eyes;
My life becomes a sea of delightful daisies.

[Buh4Bee]

I like this. It is very simple and sweet, but I'd work on it more.

Not sure if I understand what you mean by soothing day's eyes? Do you mean once you settled down and stopped rushing and started to enjoy the day, only then could you appreciate life?

[angliholic]

I like this. It is very simple and sweet, but I'd work on it more.

Not sure if I understand what you mean by soothing day's eyes? Do you mean once you settled down and stopped rushing and started to enjoy the day, only then could you appreciate life?


Thanks, jersea, for the comment.

Soothing day's eyes amounts to soothing daisies. In your mind's eye, can you see a small sun's (=day's) eye of a daisy? In other words, the original meaning of the word daisy is the the day's eye, or the sun's eye.

[PrinceMyshkin]

How lovely! I'd like to think it came to you as spontaneously as it reads.

[Buh4Bee]

I can see that. thank you.

[blank|verse]

Hi angliholic. I think with this and other poems of yours I've read, they are nicely expressive and thoughtful... but perhaps lacking a bit of bite.

You tend to write in abstractions: 'I went rushing for gold'; 'My life was under a sea of gray woes' etc, which are all fine, but I find myself wanting to know more details or what the reality of these things are. Perhaps you could concentrate on individual moments, people, emotions and bring those to life for the reader. But keep writing; it sounds like you're just starting to write, as your poems still have a tentative quality.

The more you write, the more confident you will get.

[angliholic]

How lovely! I'd like to think it came to you as spontaneously as it reads.

Thanks, Prince, for the kind word.
When we see a lovely kid, we'd like to think it came to this world as spontaneously as it looks.
But we all know the troublesome process, don't we?


I can see that. thank you.

Thanks, jersea, for gracing this thread and giving my your comment.



Hi angliholic. I think with this and other poems of yours I've read, they are nicely expressive and thoughtful... but perhaps lacking a bit of bite.

You tend to write in abstractions: 'I went rushing for gold'; 'My life was under a sea of gray woes' etc, which are all fine, but I find myself wanting to know more details or what the reality of these things are. Perhaps you could concentrate on individual moments, people, emotions and bring those to life for the reader. But keep writing; it sounds like you're just starting to write, as your poems still have a tentative quality.

The more you write, the more confident you will get.
Thanks, B/V, for the advice.

I subscribe to your viewpoint.
I'm just a novice, and I'm practicing every day to both improve my English and writing skills.
I appreciate you keep enlightening me along the way.