how to socialize WELL?

[krisgil_aguila]

any advice?

[papayahed]

I'm not sure if I socialize well but generally I just open my mouth and start talking. Kinda like on here, I just post stuff I'm thinking and eventually someone will reply.

[applepie]

I like to go to places where I have things in common with the people there. Then I just strike up a conversation with someone :)

[Lokasenna]

I like to go to places where I have things in common with the people there. Then I just strike up a conversation with someone :)

Ditto. I find it very hard to talk to people with whom I have nothing in common - one tends to make observations on the weather, and it all goes downhill from there.

[applepie]

Ditto. I find it very hard to talk to people with whom I have nothing in common - one tends to make observations on the weather, and it all goes downhill from there.

Observations on the weather are a good way to open things up, but you certainly have to have something more than only the climate to talk of:D

[SilentMute]

Listening is a good skill too. I actually listen more than I do talk.

There is a "safe" way to socialize...though you may be considered a little dull. The "safe" way is never discuss sex, religion, politics--and try never to give advice.

Listening, though, is always a good skill.

[dafydd manton]

Be Yourself!

[MANICHAEAN]

Sufficiently imbibed, I will talk with anyone.

I also find it easier to socialise with complete strangers in a new country. Most probably because that is the common ground, not having an already established relationship or group of people familiar with each other.Curiosity kicks in.

A new programme that I watched recently back in the UK called "Come Dine With Me" had five people from completely different backgrounds take it in turn cook at home for the others & "entertain". They then marked each other on their culinary & hosting skills. Some of the results were extremely funny & some of the final bonding was something of a surprise.

[Revolte]

Be Yourself!

Yep. Just be you, if people arent getting along with you because of who you are, then you know you don't want to hang with them in the first place. Also, find stuff you relate with in people and exchange stories or whatever else. I tend to give off a very anti-social impression, though thats not a truth, so maybe my advice isn't the best but, all the same.

[JuniperWoolf]

Be Yourself!

As cliché as it is, I'd get behind that. "Socializing well" usually means being good at small talk, which is insanely dull. I'd like someone who is actually being themselves and talking about what they like (even if what they like is completely foreign to me) WAAAAY before getting attached to someone who excels at discussing the weather.

[Revolte]

As cliché as it is, I'd get behind that. "Socializing well" usually means being good at small talk, which is insanely dull. I'd like someone who is actually being themselves and talking about what they like (even if what they like is completely foreign to me) WAAAAY before getting attached to someone who excels at discussing the weather.

Right? But most people don't seem to feel that way, so of course everyone just brings their personalities down a bit till they are more or less boring little drones with nothing interesting to say.

[billl]

Be careful about disagreeing with others. Of course, it is wrong to agree with things that we disagree with. However, where friends might go on and on about how the other person is wrong about something, remember that "socializing" generally involves "getting to know" someone, and that early disagreements could--if pursued with heartfelt emotion--come to define a new relationship, or even prevent a friendship from occurring at all. Some people are quite comfortable arguing about things right from the beginning, but not everyone. If someone is having trouble socializing WELL, there is a decent chance that there's been some miscalculation in this regard.

When "socializing", it is probably better to avoid issues where you sense some conflict (or an impulse to do a bit of 'lecturing'), and change the subject as necessary. Of course, one might decide to change the subject in a somewhat "pointed" manner (thereby making one's feelings about the matter at least vaguely known), but I think things would work best if all sides are allowed some dignity as the subject is retreated from.

Once some rapport (and even fondness, and some trust and respect) has been developed, it might become, for the sake of further development in the relationship, important to finally make clear some of these controversial positions. But not always...

[loe]

--and try never to give advice.
This is a very good and wise advice! :)
Unless someone asks for some help.

I am more a hermit and therefore not really good in or fond of socialising a lot.
But when I meet other people I stay friendly and polite, try to make a few jokes and if we have common interests conversation works rather intuitively.

Best regards

[Scheherazade]

Ask them questions (not too personal, of course). People usually love talking about themselves and mostly add, "What about you?"