Cruelest Russia/Little Life

[Asphara]

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[breathtest]

There is definitely something about these two pieces that i find exhilirating. I can't put my foot on it, but they utterly amazing.

With Cruelest Russia, i was a little sceptical after reading the first verse. I don't know exactly what it was, the 'means business' bit i think, a bit of a cliche. But that was the only part i didn't like. 'it made me eat / my doll head' is probably the best line of poetry i've read in so long.

Life From the Intellect is just as good i think if not better. I like the way it builds so energetically and in the end is quite cynical and negative. 'This crushing intellect...this creeping death'. Is it about the curse of intelligence and knowledge? That's the way i interpreted it anyway, being able to see and understand every 'twitching mass of cells', so that we're trapped in 'a screaming little existential hell.'

Thanks for posting these, they are fantastic

[Asphara]

Thanks Breathtest! That's a really sensitive reading, and you were spot on with the interpretation. Its the way lingering on anything consciously tends to impoverish it or ossify it.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I wish you had posted these separately, as your preferred way of writing, these short stenographic lines, the plethora of images, demands a lot of the reader and so, after reading the first one goes on, a bit drained, to the second.

In any case, you appear to be new to this forum, so welcome!

[Bar22do]

It's so strange, Breath, that you find it exhilarating... while I read here tough, poignant life in a system where one is told how to think and behave... where intellect is dangerous to use and degenerates... Asphara, I'm impressed with your two pieces, strong, very contemporary-Slavic (charged with anger and revolt), belonging to a society that lost itself and wherever it's looking, it finds only void... It makes me shiver, very powerful and a protest, in a way. It brings back to my mind ghosts from the past (when I had to spend a time in a totalitarian country). Admirable. Welcome and all wishes - Bar

[qimissung]

"Curdles blackest knots of sleep/they bleed out instincts..." I think that's my favorite line, but I love them both, the images you create and the way you use language is engaging and eye-opening.

[Asphara]

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