Do you think you would like your internet friends in real life?

[SilentMute]

My mom and I often joke, "Internet relationships--friendships with people you probably wouldn't have anything to do with in real life."

Okay, I know it sounds rude. However, there may be some truth in it.

For one thing, some of the people you befriend just may not travel in the same circles as you--so you wouldn't have the opportunity to meet them anyway. Many of my friends are in different countries. Even if they live in Florida, we might travel in different social circles. One of my friends is in his sixties--and generally a 35 year old woman does not hang out with people in their sixties unless they are a relation.

However, I do think it is easier to sometimes appreciate people more when they are online than when you meet them in real life. What annoys you in real life may not be as irritating when you have the space of the online world. For instance, I often have at least one online friend that likes to ruffle people's feathers and says shocking things. In real life, I often avoid people like that because I don't like being in socially awkward situations. When you have social anxiety already, you don't like troublemakers. However, many of my troublemaking friends are very intelligent and very witty--and I enjoy them...online.

So what about you?

[dafydd manton]

You mean this isn't real life? In truth, I suspect I would like most of them, because what goes on in somebody's mind is a sight more important to me than any other quality, such as looks. Frankly, at 55, you can't afford to be picky! It's also pretty obvious who those with a sense of humour are, these being the people I would probably be most attracted to. Conversely, the more pompous types are the ones I'd avoid both on the computer and in reality. I can think of one or two I'd dearly love to meet, but that'd be telling........................

[Paulclem]

I find myself, by habit, projecting personalities onto the people online, which is probably far from the truth. When you see or meet someone in real life there is a tendency to do that before you get to know them. It's the same when you anticipate what a place will be like before you go there and it is always completely different.

The avatars make an impression on me, and then I look at the Litnet photoalbum and am surprised by how different the people appear - duh. It's interesting because in real time you take in cues such as clothes, attitude, looks and looks as in like someone else etc. Onine there are fewer, different cues - avatar, photo, attitude in posts, etc.

I think people talk to the ones they get on with, and would probably get on with them in real life.

As Silent has pointed out, it is good to mix online with people you would never meet in your social circles.

[Kyriakos]

In my view the internet shouldnt be used for socialising. Each time i met a person from the internet i was dissapointed. You really cannot form a complete view of someone just from reading their lines :)

[Paulclem]

In my view the internet shouldnt be used for socialising. Each time i met a person from the internet i was dissapointed. You really cannot form a complete view of someone just from reading their lines :)

There must be an interesting story there Kyriakos...:wink5:

[Kyriakos]

A couple of horror stories in fact! :D

[Virgil]

I would say yes for my close friends and I don't know about the others. I've met a few and I have enjoyed the company. I haven't been disappointed yet.

[Basil]

I must say that I am intrigued by this concept of "Internet friends." Is there a particular website that offers them? Are they like Webkinz (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Webkinz?wasRedirected=true)? What sort of fees are involved?

[Maryd.]

Oh, I would definitely like to meet some on line friends. But only the special ones. I am very fussy in that sense. Like Daffyd, I would like to meet those, that make me laugh and the people who are genuinely concerned. You know the type. The type that leave you a pm every now and then, drop in on your visitors page and leave a message. The one's who are sweet and wonderful. Their are a few here.

[Scheherazade]

I must say that I am intrigued by this concept of "Internet friends." Is there a particular website that offers them? Are they like Webkinz (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Webkinz?wasRedirected=true)? What sort of fees are involved?Oh, that's where you hide when you are not posting on here!

[OrphanPip]

I've met a couple people I know online. It's mostly gone over well, but it's easy when they're just passing through, eh?

The thing that doesn't work, I think, is online dating. Online friendships work easier, because people are less emotionally involved.

[soundofmusic]

I have sometimes wished I could meet people in my everyday life like the ones on lit net.

But really, I kind of like to project different physical and mental features on my litnet friends; make them beautiful and handsome, forever young and always brilliant...like a wonderful movie with an always happy ending...

[Shalot]

I think the original question is kind of funny..."Do you think you would like your internet friends in real life." I am in a real life...In my real life, I am on the internet and I talk to friends on the internet. They are my internet friends. I met some people at work (in my real life), and we get off from work and get on the internet and interact internet style. I knew a couple of guys from high school and now we're on facebook. They're from my real life, and now they're part of my internet life. I guess the point of this post is to say that the internet is real life.

In my real life, I would not likely have a conversation with a white supremacist for example, and I don't do it on the internet either. But I get the point...the internet seems unreal maybe because you're sitting alone and you're typing. But the reality is that the internet is your real life - at least it is for me. I have to pay for internet service and I think everything I do online is traceable to my home computer via the internet service I pay for. So, I guess we're all real life here.

[L.M. The Third]

Interesting thread, with interesting responses. My initial reaction was to say yes. Sometimes it's just easier to find people who share your interests on the internet, because it is so vast. I dearly love my "in-the-flesh" friends and family, who have certainly influenced my tastes and interests. However, I still have some interests and thoughts that I find easier to discuss online. Sometimes one's family doesn't have the same interests that one longs to discuss.

But the discussion is different online, which can lend itself to a somewhat unreal picture of the people. Personally, I'm quite certain that I come across differently online, because it's a setting in which I can discuss topics which interest me, to the exclusion of the shyness of not knowing what to say about other things.

On a certain forum, hint SM, everyone is always so kind that I think, "I'd love to meet every person". And they probably are all lovely people, but I don't necessarily share many interests with all of them.

There are a number of people that I've gotten to know well enough online that I think we could have a lot in common in "real life".

[bhamtya]

i wud love to meet a few of my like minded internet friends.....its kinda fun to see sum1 in real life wid whm u hav been in contact wid thru d virtual world......

[Helga]

I'm not sure about this. I'm rather shy and if I would meet them in real life I would probably just babble and say the wrong words. Also I tend to drift off when people talk and I really need to listen when they speak in English or other languages...I like the writing letters and chatting, that way I feel like I'm not alone but when I want to be alone I just turn of my computer...

I think people use the internet way to much to meet people. a friend of mine told me to get facebook so I can meet some guys 'find love on facebook' like she put it but that just makes me less interested in that thing than before.

although there are one or two I would like to meet someday but most of them are just internet friends.

[toni]

The thing that doesn't work, I think, is online dating. Online friendships work easier, because people are less emotionally involved.

Likewise. I think there isn't anything wrong with building friendships but people should be more wary about starting relationships online.They should at least wait to meet him/her personally before committing to anything.

I wholeheartedly agree with Shalot's post. The internet is also real life. Connection is connection, you can't disregard that. And unless you're befriending a poser, that's a real person you're in contact with and it makes no difference with the people you meet in person.

[SilentMute]

Wow! This is cool--I'm hearing from people I usually don't on this post.

I didn't know a better term than "real life." What I meant by that is your life away from the online world--the people you socialize with in the flesh. I don't know if people always intend to distort themselves, but I often find people do online. Of course, they do it in "real life" too--but it is harder perhaps. I tend to be more open online than I am in real life. I might give an opinion on a forum that I never would give in "real life". In "real life" I obey the "safe conversations" rule--stay away from sex, religion, and politics--and generally avoid giving advice. Admittedly, conversation is limited and I prefer to listen to people than talk. People don't seem to mind.

@Paulclem--I find it interesting that avatars make such a big impression on you since your avatar is Frankenstein. Mind you, I like your avatar...and I always thought the monster was rather sympathetic.

It is easy sometimes to fall in love with people online, but I really do think that online dating is a bad idea. I voted yes on my poll, because by and large I think I would like most of my friends. However, I do have a few I would prefer to keep online only. As I've said, they are my wonderfully funny and intelligent rather inappropriate friends. I only have one sometimes inappropriate, witty, intelligent person in real life--and that is my mother. One such person in my life is more than enough.:lol:

[ClaesGefvenberg]

I have met a few of my internet friends irl. No problems thus far. They did not always look exactly like I imagined, but their personalities were no different from what I had seen on the web.

/Claes

[soundofmusic]

I only have one sometimes inappropriate, witty, intelligent person in real life--and that is my mother. One such person in my life is more than enough.:lol:

Aw, gosh..:blush2::iagree:

[SilentMute]

Aw, gosh..:blush2::iagree:

Yeah, mom...I'm really looking forward to when I have to put you in a nursing home. I'll have to visit daily just to make sure the nurses don't hogtie you to the bed and gag you with a chuck.

Of course, I guess if you get too unruly where they won't keep you...I guess I'll just have to take you out to grandpa's killing rock.:smilewinkgrin:I better not joke about this...considering some people might think I'm serious.

[dafydd manton]

Yeah, mom...I'm really looking forward to when I have to put you in a nursing home. I'll have to visit daily just to make sure the nurses don't hogtie you to the bed and gag you with a chuck.

Of course, I guess if you get too unruly where they won't keep you...I guess I'll just have to take you out to grandpa's killing rock.:smilewinkgrin:I better not joke about this...considering some people might think I'm serious.

"Be Nice to your kids - it's them who get to choose your retirement home!"

[MarkBastable]

I've met several people whom I've known for some time on the Web - and not all of them friends. I've never been very surprised, either way. I think people tend to come over in a forum like this much as they come over in person.

[soundofmusic]

Yeah, mom...I'm really looking forward to when I have to put you in a nursing home. I'll have to visit daily just to make sure the nurses don't hogtie you to the bed and gag you with a chuck.

Of course, I guess if you get too unruly where they won't keep you...I guess I'll just have to take you out to grandpa's killing rock.:smilewinkgrin:I better not joke about this...considering some people might think I'm serious.

:prrr: Control 'til the last is my matto; I intend to keep my ziploc bag of "freedom pills" wherever I go....
Oh, by the way, my safety deposit number is....ah...:ack2::confused:

[qimissung]

I think when you've been on a forum n for awhile you do reveal yourself and if you do become friends with people they tend to be like-minded.

[Niamh]

I've met a few people i've befriended online and they were exactly what i expected. I now class one as a best friend in my real life and another is my boyfriend. Chatting online is a part of my everyday life and although i'm typing to people rather than voicing face to face, they are still real in my life.

[OrphanPip]

Oh geez, I don't even think about mentioning it, but so often now I've at least spoken face to face with online friends on skype a few times. It's so easy to speak with people over the internet by voice and video these days.

[Niamh]

Skype! Doh! Yes i use skype also to chat to people i've met online. Helped me get to know them better. :)

[MANICHAEAN]

Looks like you struck a vein of gold SilentMute.

Keep digging & panning!

[TurquoiseSunset]

What's nice about internet friends is that they are people that you wouldn't necessarily have met. Even at conferences and similar events I always see people, who are strangers to each other, of the same age or race or gender naturally group together. Here it's not like that. People of all ages, races, genders are friends. It's sometimes only after a really nice chat with someone when you find out how different, demographically speaking, they are to you. So there's very little prejudice in that sense.

While I'm thinking about all of that, what I like about litnet is that I can say what I like or I can lurk if I don't want to partake of a discussion. I also don't have to be good friends with anyone here in order to belong, because litnet's not a clique. I have a lot of 'real-life' friends (for an introvert at least) whom I'm quite close with, but normally I find it fairly difficult to open up to people and become friends with them. However, on litnet I don't feel any pressure... The only thing I don't like, ironically, is that I have to write responses. I express myself better when I can verbalise what I'm thinking. Otherwise I'm hunky dory with the system :D

[Paulclem]

What's nice about internet friends is that they are people that you wouldn't necessarily have met. Even at conferences and similar events I always see people, who are strangers to each other, of the same age or race or gender naturally group together. Here it's not like that. People of all ages, races, genders are friends. It's sometimes only after a really nice chat with someone when you find out how different, demographically speaking, they are to you. So there's very little prejudice in that sense.

While I'm thinking about all of that, what I like about litnet is that I can say what I like or I can lurk if I don't want to partake of a discussion. I also don't have to be good friends with anyone here in order to belong, because litnet's not a clique. I have a lot of 'real-life' friends (for an introvert at least) whom I'm quite close with, but normally I find it fairly difficult to open up to people and become friends with them. However, on litnet I don't feel any pressure... The only thing I don't like, ironically, is that I have to write responses. I express myself better when I can verbalise what I'm thinking. Otherwise I'm hunky dory with the system :D

Aha! So you're the lurker! :biggrin5:

[TurquoiseSunset]

Aha! So you're the lurker! :biggrin5:

Heh, busted! :D
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