Fluxinator
07-23-2010, 10:04 PM
So, I'm currently doing my GCSE's and will be in my last year of high-school next year and we've been analysing poetry (the most boring thing in the world to me). However it inspired me to create some poems of my own. I admit that I rushed them a little and I just wrote what came to my mind. I felt that I just wanted to express my opinions in a more creative way than just stating them on a forum somewhere. So here are the 2:
Sun-Grown Chocolate
Your opinions flow over every consecutive viewpoint,
a view in diversity in which diversity is the only view,
and so I call it out as hypocritical, but to you it is not.
Contrasting opinions can never hold sway because for you,
it's nothing at either side, no black or white but grey,
So I ask you, how do you decide?
You don't, your analytical mind analyses the muddled,
fuddled and cross-dressed multicultural opinions
through which you know nobody dislikes.
And so your decisions are formed through skewed perceptions,
which is why to you mine are not formed at all.
There's no fact, no fiction and all you offer is pointless repitition.
And so you claim opinionation is a crime whilst you do the same from self-righteous leather seats,
servents offering you sun-grown chocolate from fountains of everything.
Now for this I say that there is a fact and there is a fiction.
Your arrogant ideals are incorrect throughout the scale of black to white.
And that. Is. A. Fact.
An Everlasting Dream
The grass is greener on the other side,
or so you claim, but this world is one-sided.
Repetition indoctrinates false hopes and dreams,
and nobody sees that's all that it is.
It is just a dream.
We float through melancholy happiness and claim,
oh we claim, we are free to cross over,
to the other side.
The other side after death and so we live,
in preparation for the best and dreading the worst.
But is the worst so bad?
Perhaps if we stopped arranging the pre-arranged
and subtly enjoyed the only one side,
we would have no need for the grass,
on the other side.
Now, I might be wrong on this but I have always thought there was no such thing as bad grammar in poetry, as you write it how you intend it to be read. I may be wrong on this, and if so please correct me.
Also I would like realistic criticism please :P I can take it.
Sun-Grown Chocolate
Your opinions flow over every consecutive viewpoint,
a view in diversity in which diversity is the only view,
and so I call it out as hypocritical, but to you it is not.
Contrasting opinions can never hold sway because for you,
it's nothing at either side, no black or white but grey,
So I ask you, how do you decide?
You don't, your analytical mind analyses the muddled,
fuddled and cross-dressed multicultural opinions
through which you know nobody dislikes.
And so your decisions are formed through skewed perceptions,
which is why to you mine are not formed at all.
There's no fact, no fiction and all you offer is pointless repitition.
And so you claim opinionation is a crime whilst you do the same from self-righteous leather seats,
servents offering you sun-grown chocolate from fountains of everything.
Now for this I say that there is a fact and there is a fiction.
Your arrogant ideals are incorrect throughout the scale of black to white.
And that. Is. A. Fact.
An Everlasting Dream
The grass is greener on the other side,
or so you claim, but this world is one-sided.
Repetition indoctrinates false hopes and dreams,
and nobody sees that's all that it is.
It is just a dream.
We float through melancholy happiness and claim,
oh we claim, we are free to cross over,
to the other side.
The other side after death and so we live,
in preparation for the best and dreading the worst.
But is the worst so bad?
Perhaps if we stopped arranging the pre-arranged
and subtly enjoyed the only one side,
we would have no need for the grass,
on the other side.
Now, I might be wrong on this but I have always thought there was no such thing as bad grammar in poetry, as you write it how you intend it to be read. I may be wrong on this, and if so please correct me.
Also I would like realistic criticism please :P I can take it.