Desolation

[Alexander III]

Mix and match of the real and the truth

[Jerrybaldy]

I have no idea what you are talking about. But that may not be a bad thing.
BW
JB

[Alexander III]

You don't need to get it, just the sensation of reading it :)

[Buh4Bee]

You brought in the sense of sound, especially in the first stanza.

Pan's ecstatic flute.
A trail of giggling stars

I just love the idea of stars giggling. The cigar smoking cherubs are quite funny. The poem is sweet like a child's lullaby, but than it changes to psychedelic dream.


A3, if your intent is to give the reader a fantastic sensory experience while reading the poem, than I think you did a good job. For me, this is a favorite.

I wish you could get rid of the idea of a needle, but I know you won't do that. I hate the idea of needles and drugs.
Your imagination is vast. It is apparent by the incredible images and scenarios you create.

[Alexander III]

Honestly what I was trying to do with this poem, is to answer the question of, what life is for me, its purpose, it's everything, I think I may have failed in the communication bit...

[PrinceMyshkin]

Whether this communicates or not (and on what level), it's an astounding flow of poetic imagery.

[Buh4Bee]

Well, no, it is a personal piece than it should be understood from that place. I can understand what you mean.

"Would you rather live in an illusion
Of sanity, or in the truth of pure madness ?"

This, for me, is the heart wrenching part of the poem that got me emotionally hooked. I think many "poets" as well as everyday people struggle with this.

I don't know how many times I can say it, but well done.

[Alexander III]

you can legally say it precisely 341.7 times :D

[blank|verse]

This is astonishingly hallucinatory - have you been watching 'Midsummer Night's Dream' on lsd?? :smilewinkgrin:

The opening metaphor is brilliant and there are many fantastic, fantastical moments.

It all sounds like it's taking place on the banks of the Lethe - the title; the fact the narrator is 'nude except for ennui', (although still has the energy to be bothered to give chase); and the 'dark end of the stream' is suggestive of one of the rivers of hell.

Crazy. But in a very good way.

[Alexander III]

This is astonishingly hallucinatory - have you been watching 'Midsummer Night's Dream' on lsd?? :smilewinkgrin:

The opening metaphor is brilliant and there are many fantastic, fantastical moments.

It all sounds like it's taking place on the banks of the Lethe - the title; the fact the narrator is 'nude except for ennui', (although still has the energy to be bothered to give chase); and the 'dark end of the stream' is suggestive of one of the rivers of hell.

Crazy. But in a very good way.


I dont thin LSD can make a midsummer nights dream any trippier, but wow im astonished you picked up on the Lethe thing.

Before writing the poem I had been reading lost's of Baudelaire, and the Lethe river is a recurring image in his poems. So when I wrote this poem I had the Lethe in mind.

You are a very careful reader with a keen eye I see