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qimissung
07-20-2010, 04:51 PM
Hey guys, it's summer, it's hot, it's boring. Maybe you'd like to enter a contest? I'm currently moderating the Subject Poetry Contest. The subject: an epiphany, and the poem should include the line"...and then fell I under friendly fire." Here is an example (mine); for another, Dark Muse has set the bar with a fantastic first entry.

Anywho, thanks for reading, and commenting.

Q


Don't forget to laugh

The tin man sat by my side, smoking,
Thin and empty-eyed and hollow;
“for years I stood in the enchanted forest,
Rusting, I ain’t joking,
My ax held above my head and my shoulders aching.”

Slivers of smoke drifted round his head,
And the absent-minded music,
Which we blew out our nostrils
In one long blue stream.
I might as well be dead
For all the buried treasure here.

“I thought they were my friends,” he mused,
Lighting another from the first.
“We wandered all over that damn place, looking for something…
I never thought…
And then we all dispersed.”

“My posse grew up,” I whispered
I picked up my drink and sipped.
“I could have used some ruby slippers,
And a friend.
I thought, I really thought there’d be flying monkeys,” I added,
Tight-lipped.

“Look at this,” he swiveled round
To show me. A wicked tear rose
Like a mountain range across his chest.
“The witch,” he said.
“One of her later salvos,” he added, with a grin.

“Oh, I’ve got one for you.”
I slapped down my drink and showed him mine,
Flecks of gore still decorated the suppurating flesh.
“It was then I fell under friendly fire.”
There isn’t any more. I finished my drink and left.

“Ain’t it a b*****,” said the tin man, putting out his cigarette.
“Bartender, give me another.”

Qimissung

dafydd manton
07-20-2010, 04:59 PM
Now THAT I like! Immensely!

Bar22do
07-20-2010, 05:05 PM
This is absolutely outstanding qim! adorable! vigorous! spontaneous! great fun! great wit! and a thought behind it all, as well! What can I add... perhaps only that I wouldn't even dream of contesting you! But I love my position of a genuine admirer!

A very low bow to your lovely mind, qim!

And long live Summer...

Bar

PrinceMyshkin
07-21-2010, 11:38 AM
How did I miss this? Probably because I'm not subscribed to that contest but, indeed, like Bar, I'd be intimidated to enter after reading your inspired, goofy, very funny and yet intriguing example.

I do have in mind to enter one of the other contests but by and large I stay away from them, being such a sore loser!

qimissung
07-21-2010, 11:59 AM
Thank you, Daffyd, Bar and Prince.I probably shouldn't have mentioned the contest. I thought people wold be able to separate the two things a little better. This poem isn't in that thread because I am not entered in that contest. As for me, when I do enter them, it's because I'm inspired to write first. It's like golf for me. I write because that's what I like doing.

But thank you, guys, for stopping by to read.

Hawkman
07-21-2010, 12:02 PM
I hadn't seen this either. It works on so many levels. Good one qim.

Best, H

qimissung
07-21-2010, 02:21 PM
Thank you, H. :)

hack
07-21-2010, 05:16 PM
Good work Qim. This is
wonderful. By the way,
I thought there would
be flying monkeys, too.
...peace...

qimissung
07-21-2010, 05:32 PM
:D Thank you, Hack.

Bar22do
07-22-2010, 08:24 AM
I hadn't seen this either. It works on so many levels. Good one qim.

Best, H

I agree with Hawk, and read again your poem, to better savour its dimensions, its storyteller's wonderfu tone, and to catch its winks... Bar

angliholic
07-22-2010, 10:50 AM
How poor Doris is

In the real world!

But take heart, my friend.

I'll never let you fall under my fire

As long as you keep far away from me!

qimissung
07-23-2010, 01:09 AM
Thanks, Bar, for rereading, AND saying it has dimension! I liked it; I'm glad you did, too.

Thanks for reading my humble poem, angliholic.

qimissung
07-27-2010, 08:46 PM
YES, I am shamelessly bumping, this time it is with the specific intent of encouraging people to write something for the Subject Poetry Contest. I won't go so far as to say I'm begging...but so much talent...Anyway, give it a thought, and thanks. :)