Teen Pregnancy Poem.

[Blood]

You knew this would happen
You just didn’t know when
Some call it a blessing
Some say you’ve sinned

The first time you saw him
He got you in bed
You couldn’t say no
Ignored everything your conscience said

Now you look in the mirror
And call yourself a hoe
You should’ve thought first
You should’ve said no

But now you’re havin his kid
Don’t know where to go
Getting so big
Startin to show

I wrote this a couple months back. It's one of my favorites. Tell me what you guys think. Criticism is greatly appreciated.

[Pensive]

Not bad! :)


Ignored everything your conscious said
But you probably are talking about conscience here? :) Interesting...

[Blood]

Not bad! :)


But you probably are talking about conscience here? :) Interesting...

Thank you. And yes, I misspelled. My mistake. Fixed.

[tailor STATELY]

Makes for a nice simple rap until you hit line 4 in the second verse

Maybe turn that line into a refrain and rework line 4:

You knew this would happen
You just didn’t know when
Some call it a blessing
Some say you’ve sinned

Ignored everything your conscience said

The first time you saw him
He got you in bed
You couldn’t say no
Now you wishin you was dead

Ignored everything your conscience said

Now you look in the mirror
And call yourself a hoe
You should’ve thought first
You should’ve said no

Ignored everything your conscience said

But now you’re havin his kid
Don’t know where to go
Getting so big
Startin to show

Listen to what your conscience says
Listen to what your conscience says
Listen to what your conscience says
Listen to what your conscience says

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[Delta40]

I like it and the untimeliness of the rhythm suits the theme of the poem - untimed pregnancy. Its truth is brutal and the awkwardness of the flow complement each other

family and friends (at least, some!) are a great support at a time like this :-)

[tailor STATELY]

family and friends (at least, some!) are a great support at a time like this :-)

I'll add an 'amen' to that.

[Blood]

Makes for a nice simple rap until you hit line 4 in the second verse

Maybe turn that line into a refrain and rework line 4:

You knew this would happen
You just didn’t know when
Some call it a blessing
Some say you’ve sinned

Ignored everything your conscience said

The first time you saw him
He got you in bed
You couldn’t say no
Now you wishin you was dead

Ignored everything your conscience said

Now you look in the mirror
And call yourself a hoe
You should’ve thought first
You should’ve said no

Ignored everything your conscience said

But now you’re havin his kid
Don’t know where to go
Getting so big
Startin to show

Listen to what your conscience says
Listen to what your conscience says
Listen to what your conscience says
Listen to what your conscience says

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

Actually, I've thought of making it rap before. But, as you can tell from above, it would be too repetitive.