This is the the intro to an Untitled story that I am writting

[blacksmith]

To understand where i'm at in my life now, you need to know where iv'e been. Honestly I don't feel like telling you everything because that would mean reliving a year that I didn't exactly like, but I can give you a basic sumarry. I failed to make the soccer team, I plan to try out again this year and I will make it. I didn't have the balls to tell Brooke how i felt about her, but seriously wasn't it obvious, well you wouldnt know, trust me it was. I'm a sophmore in college if I didn't say so already, I know not being able to talk to a girl is something you grow out of in high school, not me I guess. Im realy bad at this, my name is Kyle by the way, my best freind who Iv'e known since freshman year of high school, transfered to eldridge community last semester, which is where i go to school. We did not end the year on the best note, we barebly spoke all summer, I wonder howthings are going to be. Well if you realy have to know, I think he slept with Brooke, so what if she wasn't my girlfreind still he knew she was of limits. Clair was my other realy close freind, people asumed we where dating because we where so close, but thats's just how we where, at times I thought she may like me but she couldn't, could she? Clair and Bryan met last semester through me, before Bryan and I had our falling out, all three of us where like the insepreable trio. There realy isn't much else to tell and if there is well to bad. I said I don't like talking abiout last year, it was not a great year so I try and let the past be the past.

(Feed Back Please )

[adityasam]

Hello there, first of all i am well impressed that you used the first-person narrative. Honestly, i found it a bit difficult to understand the story, with the main reason being faulty english. You have made basic english mistakes. In some cases instead of 'were' you used 'where' and the spelling is 'really'. The story will surely have a lot of goin because it deals with the life of a very serious person (because i felt it like that)
You can do a lot better.

[the-naturalist]

To understand where i'm at in my life now, you need to know where iv'e been. Honestly I don't feel like telling you everything because that would mean reliving a year that I didn't exactly like, but I can give you a basic sumarry. I failed to make the soccer team, I plan to try out again this year and I will make it. I didn't have the balls to tell Brooke how i felt about her, but seriously wasn't it obvious, well you wouldnt know, trust me it was. I'm a sophmore in college if I didn't say so already, I know not being able to talk to a girl is something you grow out of in high school, not me I guess. Im realy bad at this, my name is Kyle by the way, my best freind who Iv'e known since freshman year of high school, transfered to eldridge community last semester, which is where i go to school. We did not end the year on the best note, we barebly spoke all summer, I wonder howthings are going to be. Well if you realy have to know, I think he slept with Brooke, so what if she wasn't my girlfreind still he knew she was of limits. Clair was my other realy close freind, people asumed we where dating because we where so close, but thats's just how we where, at times I thought she may like me but she couldn't, could she? Clair and Bryan met last semester through me, before Bryan and I had our falling out, all three of us where like the insepreable trio. There realy isn't much else to tell and if there is well to bad. I said I don't like talking abiout last year, it was not a great year so I try and let the past be the past.

(Feed Back Please )

Sorry, very awful