Prologue to a story im thinkin about writing...

[King]

I'm thinking of writing/attempting to write a sci-fi / fantasy short story/book about a man who is far older than most country's histories. I'm thinkin of calling it "Requiem" but not too sure so here i go.

Prologue

The meaning of life, it escapes most people. Many live out their monotonous lives on a daily cycle, never improving, never changing. They are content with the present, never questioning the higher authority or what anyone tells them. They are born, they grow up, get a job, start a family, and slowly fade away.
It is usually around the end of their life-span that they begin to ponder "what if?" What if they had chased their dreams? What if they had acted differently throughout their life? What if they had tried to change the world with their ideals? By this point it us usually too late to do anything of significance.They realize that her or she had wasted their time on this planet following what everyone else wanted them to do. Their actions or lack thereof had consequences, and as their lives set like the sun they began to grasp that there is no tomorrow for them. Even their religions held no comfort for them in death, and as the spark of life slipped away from their emaciated husk, it was all for naught.
I have watched everyone close to me die of old age. I saw them grow, from my childhood friends into adults, and then into elderly men and women when I have never aged a day past twenty-five...
Time, it's meaning, it's value, it the true force behind what makes the world go round. For me, it's excruciating and a constant reminder of my curse. To witness a loved one fade away into nonexistence, as they gaze upon you with so many questions and doubts, fond memories of the past replaced with fear and loathing. As they look me in the eyes I can only stare back as the spark of their soul slowly extinguishes, as they exhale one final time on Earth, as their once strong heart beats it's final fare-well. It never lessens the guild I suffer for being immortal. This is why i tend to avoid making new friends or finding loved ones, when I know I will outlive my oldest son or daughter, wife, or stepfather and all of their family.
I was born centuries ago, into a time of despair and ignorance. Long before America or Europe was born into a Nation. I have lead tribes of my people to war, robbed railroads in the wild-west, commanded armies in the revolutionary war, slaughtered bands of Native Americans because I was ordered to. The atrocities of War, I have experienced like a lover would a tight embrace. I reflect on my hand in the shaping of nations, the fall of numerous empires, and condemn my actions and wish for death regardless of the fact I know it will never come for me. The one thing I wish for the most is mortality... I often think as to what I may have been if I were mortal, able to worry about tomorrow or the day's after because I wouldn't be here forever. For a time I hated humans, but now I realize that in fact I envy them.
I have been shot, stabbed, dismembered, decapitated, blown-up, and much more yet the following day I wake in a bed somewhere, perfectly fine. I ask around as to what happened to whoever I was at the time and am told they were dead yet here I was.
I have gone by many names in my long life. Jessie James, Washington, Marx, Raspuutin, Alexander the Great, to name a few. I smile when I read the history books, as to how "brave" or "valiant" some of these characters were, knowing that at the time I was nothing more than a bloodthirsty horror or a simple family-man.
I try not to dwell on my curse, but at times alcohol seems like the only thing able to numb my pain and god there have been many alcoholic beverages invented since the initial brews.
To have watched the rise and fall of so many empires and nations, to have lived, and loved, and died to be reborn again with every memory I previously had, to drown in sorrow and still learn from my past successes and mistakes defines who and what I am. A survivor. Perverse as it sounds, being in order to be a 'survivor' one must possess the ability to stay dead when one dies. Above all else I have gathered that one must learn from the past, or we are forever doomed to repeat it. In this current day and age, you may call me Nikolai, and this is my story.


So... the question is should i pursue this story line or drop it or leave as is?
Need all feedback, positive and negative.

[kelby_lake]

You start with a lot of heavy psychology instead of a hook.

[Hawkman]

I think you need to settle on the basic idea of the nature of your narrator. You start off describing an immortal, a person with one indestructible body which endures. But this
evolves, or at least seams to evolve, into an enduring entity, a spirit which transmigrates between bodies. This is suggested when you say the character has been decapitated then woken up in a bed somewhere and been told that the person they were is dead. This is actually a nice idea and could do with developing. An eternal, transmigratory consciousness at the mercy of fate. However, This consciousness would seem to be parasitic. If it's host is destroyed it takes over another body. What happens to the personality that was in that body? Does your roving entity subsume it, take on its characteristics and memory, constantly adding to its own, or does it snuff out the life of the person whose body it subsumes?

You really need to work out your plot before you start writing and keep hold of it. Don't let it evolve and become contradictory. You can flesh out your story with incidents and interactions.

Best, H

[golden_monkey]

This is a very good start. I often write little things like this after getting inspired, and I want to keep writing, but after numerous failed attempts, I learned that after the initial inspiration, it is best to take a step back and flesh out the foundation; lay the groundwork and make sure it is stable and is not contradictory, as Hawkman said.

I also like what Hawkman said about the idea of an "eternal, transmigratory consciousness at the mercy of fate," but of course, if that is not what you were thinking of, then it might be a good idea to spend some time developing exactly what this character is, even if you do not really reveal it in the story (i.e. for your own reference).

Now, although this is a very good ditty, in my opinion, I'm not sure how it would work as a prologue, because as kelby_lake said, it starts off as sort of a philosophical discourse, rather than a hook. Personally, I found it interesting to read, but if I were picking this up as a book, I might be turned off, simply because this sort of start to a book implies that the story lacks structure and direction, even though it might present solid and interesting ideas. I recently started writing a short story that started with a short, 4 or 5 lined paragraph like this, and then dove right into a scene with dialogue. I had originally written 4 or 5 pages of "philosophical discourse," as I call it, but then I realized that it is a really boring way to start off a book. So, I decided to pick out my main ideas, made them short, concise, and visually compelling, and broke them up so they were spread throughout the story, instead of all together. It just happened that it worked nicely as the start to each new chapter. It was annoying at first, because the way I had written it flowed very nicely, and I did not want to break it up. But you also have to think from the perspective of the reader.

Anyway, I think you have a great thing going here, and the best thing to do is to flesh it out some more.