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mazHur
07-15-2010, 02:40 PM
Little Angels On Earth


For a Night-birdie like me
nothing is better than falling asleep early
get up early and see my little children
dressed up in clean school uniforms
looking tidier and more innocent than any angel unseen
and to drop them to their schools
where I can see more children in godly uniforms
holding school bags and backpacks loaded with books
eager to join their classes
meet their friends
study and play
Wow! My eyes have never seen a better scene
angelic birds of a feather
flocking to their alma maters on earth;
they remind me of my olden days
when I too was one of them
but,Ah! my angelic days have long past
nothing pleases me more than little children
readying for schools
I can see the faces of unseen angels
in their forms!

hillwalker
07-17-2010, 08:56 AM
A beautiful ending couplet.....

Simpler and more delicate than your usual output, a nice piece.

My only quibble (there has to be one) is line 5 -

'looking tidier and innocent than any angel unseen'

grammatically one can be 'tidier than....' something, but not 'innocent than.....' - perhaps it should be 'more innocent than.....'

H

mazHur
07-17-2010, 10:32 AM
A beautiful ending couplet.....

Simpler and more delicate than your usual output, a nice piece.

My only quibble (there has to be one) is line 5 -

'looking tidier and innocent than any angel unseen'

grammatically one can be 'tidier than....' something, but not 'innocent than.....' - perhaps it should be 'more innocent than.....'

H

thank you, Hwalker, 'more' is done!!:)

hack
07-17-2010, 10:58 AM
I like this Maz, little angels
waiting for the world to clip
their wings and set them
among the, not so innocent,
throng...peace...

formality hater
07-17-2010, 11:01 AM
It's simple and has a nice ring to it.

mazHur
07-17-2010, 11:31 AM
i like this maz, little angels
waiting for the world to clip
their wings and set them
among the, not so innocent,
throng...peace...

:) :)

mazHur
07-17-2010, 11:35 AM
It's simple and has a nice ring to it.

thank you for reading and appreciating...:)

Bar22do
07-17-2010, 01:01 PM
oh, I love it very much, its simple inspiration touches upon what's most precious in this world!!!! a very very nice poem mazHur thank you Bar

qimissung
07-17-2010, 01:56 PM
I couldn't agree more with your sentiments about children, mazHur. Their sweetness and energy are so life-affirming. :)