Intruder

[Hawkman]

For the first time I saw him, today, in my flat
while sitting here writing of this and of that.
His nose from a hole in the cornice came out,
all twitching and sniffing the air with his snout.
For months now I’ve known that I wasn’t alone,
the signs unmistakable here in my home,
confetti-like debris on top of my books,
the hole in the cornice, in one of its nooks
and then as I typed with my fingers on keyboard,
the echo of scuttling feet in the freeboard.
I’d follow his progress with ears finely tuned
and knew when he stopped and his journey resumed.
But If laying a trap is by physics precluded
if he thinks he’ll escape, he’s sadly deluded.
Whether up in the ceiling or inside the wall
Death for this rodent intruder will call.

[Pryderi Agni]

WOW.

Nothing else to say. Just a resounding

WOW.

[Bar22do]

I'll comment on this more asap - for the time being - great! thanks and -
congratulations for your having been chosen and quoted for May poem (The Question) in the newsletter! bravo for all your wonderful job and for the pleasure your poetry gives us!
Bar
Best regards
(still adapting to new surrounding) Bar

[Bar22do]

Your craft and energy never deceive!

But I'd rather you let it live...

May you both live long and happy without overstepping the boundaries of each other's domains! (but if "it" does, "it" has not your awareness, so be lenient...)

Bar

[formality hater]

I like the flow of your poem and the idea is good too.

[dafydd manton]

I have to confess, I feel sad for the mouse
But you can't have a rodent at large in the house.

Nice one! Cheers.

[Hawkman]

Sweet Bar,

Thank you for letting me know that I had reached the dizzy hights of having a poem selected for the newsletter. If you hadn't mentioned it I'd never have known! I am now a subscriber :D

I'm glad also that you continue to enjoy my poems, even when the sentiments they express seem to be at varience with the serene gentleness I associate with the mysterious entity on the other side of the computer screen that is Bar22do :)

For your sake I will try to be as humane as possible in my dealings with the rodent. :devil:

I hope your period of adjustment will not take you too long to accomplish and that all is as well as it is possible to be in your new surroundings.

f h Thanks, I'm glad you like it. The idea was a real event. I was writing a short story when I heard the pitter-patter of tiny feet running behind the cornice. I followed his progress, much as described and lo, he stuck his nose out of the hole. Well, what else could I do but write a poem about it! :D

Dafydd,

A mouse is trying to eat my house
There’s a hole now in the ceiling.
I’ve heard the bugger run about
But gave it little meaning.

But I’ll not shirk this heavy task,
The beast it has to go,
Before he chews right through a wire
And electrons cease their flow.

Glad you liked it.

Live long and prosper, one and all - H

[Bar22do]

if you really were humane
you would let the mouse
eat your house

grind up bricks, the fabrics pierce
and spare for lifetime
your good rhyme!

[Hawkman]

Sweet, gentle, compassionate Bar,

http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?t=51044

I fear I may lose for ever your high opinion :D

H

[Bar22do]

hmmm, perhaps there is a salvation for you after all: in words...

but that's it, for the night's cratered deep, echoing areas of the moon.

[tailor STATELY]

I'd find out first if the mouse was a critic or an admirer (or collaborator ?) first before dispatching.

[Hawkman]

Pryderi Agni

I do apologise for overlooking your comment in my earlier responses. Rest assured I intended no slight. So thanks and I'm glad you liked it.

tailor Statley,

Whether friend or foe
he'll have to go
because of the damage he does
don't you know.

It may be sad
and I may be bad,
if he eats through a cable -
then I'll be mad.

I need the juice
to open the sluice
so my words may flow forth
to be read by youse.

The only mouse
I want in my house
is on my computer
and it don't carrouse.

:D

Live and be well. H

[PrinceMyshkin]

I'm afraid I didn't understand


"But If laying a trap is by physics precluded"


although I otherwise enjoyed the deftness of this. Failing a trap, however, if you can locate its point of entry and sprinkle a mixture of oregano and sage in that area, the mouse/mice will be deterred.

[Hawkman]

Hi Prince,

The location of the mouse's run makes it physically impossible to put down any kind of trap. I don't even know how he got there! Anyway, for the moment at least, I can't get at him without demolishing the building :D He may be deterred by the herbs, but he'll just move into another room I suspect. I'd rather he moved out altogether.

Best,

H

[Bar22do]

sorry to be interfering so impolitely, but how can you know it's "he"?

(I didn't forget I owe you an answer regardless :smile5:)

[Hawkman]

sorry to be interfering so impolitely, but how can you know it's "he"?

(I didn't forget I owe you an answer regardless :smile5:)


Sweet Bar,

I didn't respect his privacy :D

an answer to which question, though? I am intrigued, and apparently still waiting... ;)

[Delta40]

Dammit! you wrote of the fellow in the fondest sense and then you revealed the darker instinct inside of ye! hope the rodent has a thriving nest of little uns!

[Hawkman]

Ah, but that means when i catch him they'll starve, poor dears!

[hillwalker]

I liked this one Hawk (apologies for tardy response - a few days 'south of the border')

And in my experience, zap the little blighters before they chew through your water pipes (here speaks the voice of experience, unfortunately!!.

[Hawkman]

Thanks hill, Thank goodness for a sympathetic ear. I've been under seige! :D H