Moving without motion

[PrinceMyshkin]

We try to justify ourselves
with words, as if each word
were the sun of a separate galaxy
slanting its peripheral light
on our own. Each word
is the truth of some unseen colour,
each virtue the Janus face
of a sin as yet unnamed.

We press ourselves forward
when it is only by sitting still
that we might arrive
where we were meant to be.

[Hawkman]

Hi Prince,

I'm not sure that:

"as if each word
were the sun of a separate universe"

quite works. Universes tend to have rather a lot of suns and "the sun" implies more significance than "a sun". I think your meaning would be amply conveyed if you dropped the reference to the sun altogether:

"as if each word
were a separate universe"

I think is not only more economical but more elegant as well.

Best, H

[Lumiere]

To my brain, the sun-of-separate-universes metaphor worked quite well.

There is truth in what this poem says, and says so light-footed.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Hi Prince,

I'm not sure that:

"as if each word
were the sun of a separate universe"

quite works. Universes tend to have rather a lot of suns and "the sun" implies more significance than "a sun". I think your meaning would be amply conveyed if you dropped the reference to the sun altogether:

"as if each word
were a separate universe"

I think is not only more economical but more elegant as well.

Best, H

Thanks. I've replaced universe with galaxy. I hope that works for you.

[justice4all]

I think you are getting closer, but the implication of one "sun" in a galaxy is still a stretch. I still agree with hawkman that you should just drop the sun reference. I think that changing universes to galaxies is good and the sun reference is not needed.

[AuntShecky]

Sometimes all we have are words, Prince.

The last sentence reminds me of another famous one:
"They also serve who only stand and wait."

[breathtest]

The second stanza is a sentiment that i agree with wholeheartedly. A lovely piece of poetry Prince.

[Delta40]

I love the conceit. Its true my use of words occupy a space all their own. Your galaxy is abundant Prince!

[TheEarthIsRound]

We press ourselves forward
when it is only by sitting still
that we might arrive
where we were meant to be.


These lines are very effective, I really like what they bring out.

Although now I cannot perceive a possibility for our normal brains to do thinking other than sounds and words and language, but is there anyway that our mind can experience/comprehend (therefore no need for justifications) the philosophical questions and the truth without language?

[PrinceMyshkin]

Thank you, AuntShecky, Breathtest, Justice, Delta and TheEarthisRound, Hawkman and Lumiere.

[hack]

A wonderful meditation.
...peace...

[Virgil]

We try to justify ourselves
with words, as if each word
were the sun of a separate galaxy
slanting its peripheral light
on our own. Each word
is the truth of some unseen colour,
each virtue the Janus face
of a sin as yet unnamed.

We press ourselves forward
when it is only by sitting still
that we might arrive
where we were meant to be.


Good God, this is outstanding!! I love this!

[PrinceMyshkin]

Good God, this is outstanding!! I love this!

Many thanks Virgil and Hack.

[Jerrybaldy]

I guess it would have to be ' the sun of a separate solar system' ,which is a top scorer on sibilance (top score being 666) :coolgleamA:
cheers
JB