Unbelievable

[kittypaws]

Unbelievable
Make believe
Fantasy
An image
A dream created
Unrealistic
impractical idea
creation of
exaggerated mental images
in response to an ungratified need
daydream
flight of the imagination
reality
caprice.

~~~~**~~~~

The evening wears on
Late night, late night..
The drizzle falls.
The headlights strike.

My eyes are tired
Too much to see.
My mind unwinds
Wondering how these things
came to be.

How foolish I have become.
idiotic me.
No matter how hard I try
I can’t seem to run,
From the fact that I have
fallen in love.

I know this is wrong.
And I wish you didn’t love me.
I wish I could escape.
Stop the burning inside
Come back to the real world
Not the one where I hide.

I believe in you
Who is not real
It’s unbelievable.
What I feel.

Kittypaws

[Hawkman]

This has some lovely touches kittypaws. Thanks for sharing.

I like the economy of this:

"My eyes are tired
Too much to see.
My mind unwinds
Wondering how these things
came to be."

but Can I suggest:

Wondering how this
came to be.

as it makes the pace in keeping with the preceeding lines.


Grammar note: final stanza l2 should read, "Who are not real"

Best, H

[Bar22do]

Kittypaws, so here you're back again, thanks for your new poem, telling nicely of a love dream as opposed to a disappointing reality?
I don't like
"How foolish I have become.
idiotic me."
and think this stanza could start with "No matter how hard I try" and thus become stronger.

Otherwise I enjoyed to read your dreaming voice as to refresh for myself the experience of falling-in-love (conflicting) feelings...!

Be very well - are you on vacation for a while? Bar

[hillwalker]

An enjoyable piece, rather morose - but perhaps with a touch of irony also.

I like the opening verse (after the thesaurus list) - setting the scene in a very simple but telling fashion (for me it reads as if the narrator is sitting in her car, the wipers repeating 'late night' / 'late night' - a very effective device)

and I'm with Bar on the 'idiotic me' section - there is no need to reveal yourself to the reader so directly, the poem does that well enough and much more subtly.....

H

[PrinceMyshkin]

I know this is wrong.
And I wish you didn’t love me.


is the brutal heart of this heart-broken poem.