the-naturalist
07-04-2010, 12:47 PM
As stated, I would appreciate your comments on my Intro ... Likewise will do same if you have an intro ... Thank you to my literary friends.
The Oddity of Josh Gentile
Meet Josh Gentile
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In a generation wrapped around a ball of confusion and an eccentric personality to boot, he had a little chance at leading a normal existence. Meet the brilliant 16-year old schizo, Josh the-gentile-Jew. If one of the many root causes of Josh Gentile’s “being” are of any relevance, perhaps it can be attributed to the success-driven adolescent psyche of today where dreams are grandeur and anything is possible. Who can blame these wannabes raised on Fruit Loops and long-shot dreams.
*
Though he was well-educated and ambitious, members of this new breed of narcissists still shift 5 gears ahead of their drive and constantly stalling. Josh was most definitely an interesting outcome of his times. For one --- being a child prodigy who read ferociously --- and secondly, he was an eccentric genius who pushed the envelope in all of his endeavours and got in and out of trouble because of the clash between the theory in books he read and the reality of the life he challenged.
*
Josh was an only child and the offspring of Italian and Jewish parentage, Umberto Gentile and Rose Stern. Both were eccentric in their own right, with one side being bold and crazy and the other side being neurotic and brilliant. The “off” genetic inheritance*of both his parents including all his ancestors not only created the capricious Josh but also all of his relatives alike.* They were all uniquely “off” the center. Though from bourgeois beginnings, Josh came from an upper middle class background thanks to his grandfather Thomas Gentile who strived for money and security at any means.
By age 17, he had already dropped out in theoretical physics and had switched programs often since entering at age 15.* Theoretical physics was his outlet to ponder the many W5 questions about the many mysteries of life. Due to his academic accomplishments, Josh was already a celebrity of sorts in the New York area but he had no appreciation for media attention. He liked his privacy and tried to remain incognito. When he was once asked why he chose theoretical physics as his academic pursuit, he could respond with a poetic ring: “Atoms are amazing and intangible building blocks of everything and just like a mason, I want to build beautiful castles in my head with those building blocks.” That’s one segment of the work of theoretical physicists --- to study the behaviours of atoms and make great discoveries in technology to cosmology.
He never fell short of compliments and when an answer was good by responding enthusiastically: “That is ingenious”. When your answer was brilliant, he was quick to use his vast vocabulary to glorify your statement: “That is ingenious, efficacious and electric.” He would experience a high from great nucleic observations. On the other hand, when an observation was not satisfactory, he was polite and would state: “Your answer contradicts some data” or “you skipped a stage in your argument.” When an answer was totally left field and if he perceived arrogance from his challenger, he could be quite forward and spew a bunch of criticisms: “Your response is ineffectual, incalculable, and unbelievable cutting-edge bull****”. For the better part of him, Josh was a good humanitarian. In the midst of a stressful situation however, Josh could release a rainbow of negative emotions and clip the wings of the better angel that he became to be known for. He could be strong-minded, defensive, opinionated, and contradictory --- all expressed with well spoken words. On the more serious side, little did he realize that he went about his life unaware of his conditions that included obsessive-compulsive disorder, bi-polar disorder, and delusions of grandeur. *However all these conditions were not a hindrance to his many achievements.* Josh had accumulated vast amount knowledge through formal academics or autodidact in the area of science, education, health, law, medicine, business, philosophy, the arts... *With the help of his very powerful mob grandfather and his computer hacker cousin Marty Kattleman, he had managed to enrol simultaneously in two different programs from both New York and Columbia Universities. And despite this heavy load, his grades were always outstanding.*
When he was not reading, one of his hobbies of choice was quantum mechanics strangely enough. Quantum mechanics is the study of atoms and their unpredictable nature. A kindred spirit science well suited for Josh considering his own unpredictable nature. For example, in his lab he had the exhausting mental zest for experimenting with time travel by making sub-atomic particles leapfrog into the future or analyzing mathematical equations as to complete Albert Einstein’s Unified Field Theory. Of course, all were impossible tasks even for this Mensa boy. He just dwelled in the impossible and*that was his escape.
As much as he was super intelligent, he lacked a sense of experiment and creativity for lab experiments. His forte was strictly understanding theory which can be hazardous in the practical world. He would do just fine as a science popularizer for a career. The famous Albert Einstein was not overly mathematical, in fact he struggled with math, but had an unprecedented sense of creativity and intuition in understanding cosmology for which he wrote his famous theory of “General Relativity.” Smart people come at a dime a dozen, but with creative people it’s a totally different deal. There’s a saying that goes: “those you who can’t do – teach. And those who can’t teach --- teach gym. And those that can’t teach gym --- are forever taking courses in continuing education”.
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Unlike his peers, he did not aspire to become a savvy billionaire financial wiz nor to being the next media has-been. His narcissistic turn-on was “greatness” --- greatness in the intellectual fields. The who’s who of popular culture was of very little interest to him. According to him Paris Hilton is a hotel in Paris. Great intellectual minds are what he cried over, just like Caesar crying over the statue of Alexander the Great because of his accomplishments at such a young age. The greats he idolized were Neils Bohr, Albert Einstein, Stephen Hawking, Leonardo Da Vinci, Charles Darwin, Carl Sagan, Brian Greene, Jonas Salk, Jean-Paul Satre,*Bertrand Russel, Michael Moore, Ralph Nader, Aristotle, Jesus Christ, St-Francis of Assisi... He possessed a spirit of humanity, intellectualism, revolution --- and aspired to make a change in the world which he viewed as decadent. He hoped to do this through science, medicine, philosophy or whatever means necessary --- thus echoing his narcissistic greatness for an eternity.*
While most self-conscious adolescents his age concerned themselves with their position within their circle of friends, he was more concerned with his observations of particles circling atoms under the scanning tunnelling microscope that he used to conduct experiments in quantum mechanics.* His appearance was that of a dishevelled yet cool-looking intellectual kid with long wavy dark hair. He resembled a young Al Pacino with the Serpico wavy long hair look. But he was not at all handsome like Al Pacino.* Coming from Italian and Jewish ancestry, he fit the stereotypical Mediterranean look with the long face and olive skin tone.*He was average in stature and of no great threat to someone his age with a Nordic bulldog face. While everyone else dressed “à la mode”, Josh was a throwback to the beat-nick generation years with his ragged jeans, t-shirt, worn out sneakers, and leather handbags.
It would seem only likely that with superior knowledge comes superior reasoning and debate. This was hardly the case with Josh. As much as he was able to demonstrate the battle of the wits, he could demonstrate the battle of the wackiness. During a conversation or debate with someone, he could make impressive observations and but then he would turn around and make unprecedented and unbelievably dim-witted observations. There was always a 50/50 chance with Josh that he would state something that was either very deep or very dumb. Here’s a typical example. Take-one action.
While in the presence of his cousin Frank, a spiritually-minded person who dedicated his life to Jesus, Josh just loved to engage into philosophical discussions with him while they spent time together at his engraving shop.* His shop was a place of work, but also a place to hang out, shoot the breeze or get into serious heated discussions. When a striking thought came to mind, he would often drop by Frank’s place to discuss his observation. One biological matter that Josh pondered was --- is “love” and “need” a fabric of the same feeling, intertwined, or*a direct synonym for "need.”* For example, do we love*someone because we need them for our survival? Do we love Beatles music because it makes us feel good and we can’t bare not to hear the riff chords to*“Day Tripper” ever again?* Do we help someone because we are banking on receiving help from that someone in the future? Do we ever give without the expectation of never receiving? Is everything that we do for the sake of our own selfish security and survival? These thoughts disturbed Josh because he wanted to be more evolved and humanistic and not be a selfish and competitive gene. This was a very intellectual observation for an adolescent and even his cousin could relate to him and respect him for that. Change the topic and Josh can fall flat on his face by making statements that are so wacky.
Josh was secular in religion, a deist, or even an agnostic. He wasn’t quite sure because of the lack of empirical and scientific evidence for a God of prayer. However, he did believe in a God of design who created the universe and all its physical laws which he could see first-hand. In his opinion, the creation of the universe was not a one-in-a-hundred billion chance. Following the same logical pattern as a watchmaker who designs watch clocks, there is no reason why this logical pattern could not be applied in the design of the universe by a God. Frank believed in the Bible wholeheartedly. In fact, he was a real Bible thumper who was especially concerned with hell which he feared and which led him to lead a moralistic life so as to ensure his place in heaven. Josh on the other hand, and just like Einstein and all of the truly great thinkers of past and present, did not believe in a God of intervention. God understands space, time, gravity, cosmic order --- and not morality, faith, hell, salvation, and punishment. Hitler and St-Francis of Assisi are equals according to Josh’s view of God. Josh and Frank would have discussions of attrition and even heated arguments over their interpretation of God. One day, another enlightening thought hit Josh smack in the brain and thought he had Frank cornered : “Frank, when God created the laws of physics, he imposed immediate consequences if we violated them --- like jumping off a 2nd story building and becoming a quadriplegic. Or maybe smoking 4 packs a day and dying of cancer by age 40. Following that consistency, why are there no immediate consequences for breaking the laws of morality?” Frank not really paying attention to the question replied: “there are consequences ---- come judgement day.” “But I said immediate consequences, Frank”, Josh answered back. “Josh, what you don’t understand is that God must take into account all of your sins before setting his sentence.” “Following that course of action Frank, God should take into account our physical violations too for judgement day; does that mean I can jump off a bridge and pay for my injuries once I’m gone.” Josh thought this was just another lame tactic from Frank and the writers of the Christian bible to control the mass through the scare of hell fire which cannot be proven. “Frank, I ain’t buying this argument either because it’s just another claim that cannot be proven because we’ll all be dead and buried without recourse to prove you and your faith wrong.” “Josh, believe whatever you like, but all I’ve got to tell you is that God can be merciless to serious sinners and he’d just love to hang'em high”, Frank replied. “Well Frank, I may disagree with you, but I will staunchly defend your right to say whatever you believe.” Josh was now eager to state an observation that he thought was plausible: “Frank I think I know what happens in the afterlife, now just hear me out to what I believe please !: Did it ever occur to you that in the word God, the letter g is in the front of the word God... and in the word dog, the letter g is at the end of the word dog.” “Yeah and so”, Frank replied with ears wide open now because he knew something strange was coming down the pipeline. “Well doesn’t it strike you, the letter g is at the beginning of the word God implying the beginning of life, and that the letter g is at the end of the word dog implying the end of life”. “Wha…, wha…, what are driving at?” Frank replied with confusion and annoyance. “What I am saying is that once we are deceased, we are re-incarnated into dogs.” “That is the craziest thing I have ever, ever, ever heard in my life and I think I should call an ambulance!” Frank said with shock that anyone could ever propose such nonsense. “Call an ambulance, what for”, Josh replied with confusion. “Because I think you are sick in the head, my dear cousin.” “Josh, you have just outdone yourself and should quit while you’re ahead. What you are saying is quite disturbing and I am going to pop you one.” “But Frank, how’s that different and strange from your belief in internal damnation? Also why do we consider dogs as man’s best friend, did you ever think of that. Don’t you see God’s message here”, Josh explained. “This is a joke, right. Okay, good one”, Frank said while he concentrated back on his work. Josh said: “Frank, I’m being quite serious and I really thought you would find this to be enlightening.” “Oh my God, Josh I truly think you are a whack job.” Josh said: “So those who believe that a china teapot orbits the earth are crazy too. It may be crazy to you, but to them they think your hell is crazy.” Frank said: “Let me ask you something Josh, your whole God and dog observation, does that translate into the Hebrew, Greek, and Italian languages too.” “Of course not Frank, God communicates in English because that’s the International language used so that everyone can understand his message.” Frank who had a temper and who was rebellious before he was born again was so infuriated by Josh’s sacrilegious thoughts that he smashed an engraved Crystal champagne bottle. Josh now knew not to mix God with dog.
If you were driving around Manhattan and thought you saw Josh, you did.* The Apple was his center of the universe because of its culture and free-spirit. However, he lived in a ritzy part of Brooklyn called Forte Green. If it were 1969 again, he’d fit right in with the intellectuals, artists, geniuses, counter-cultures, freaks, and dreamers at Andy Warhol’s club “The Factory” notwithstanding the drugs and sex. It was not unusual for him to walk and think for hours when he had a problem to resolve despite the bustling and pollution of New York City. Other times, you would find him reading, computing, drinking coffee, and smoking in popular Village cafes. In the summer, he’d be in Central Park doing some reading and girl watching. Though he was not painfully shy, he would psyche himself up to start a conversation with a girl that caught his fancy, especially if she was reading a book such as “The Origin of Species by Charles Darwin”. He’d figure this girl has to be friendly and evolved, but almost all of the times the girls were older and they thought of him as too young and a liar because he stated that he was a university student even after showing his student ID. So he only got as far as meeting a friendly acquaintance. He had a weakness for beautiful girls with light hair and often enough would see them with ugly boyfriends. He figured that some girls have a fetish for ugly men because they look like their pet dog. One day, he was determined that he was going to meet a nice girl in Central Park. He struck out every time and was frustrated. Before he’d give up for the day, he saw again a beautiful girl with an ugly boyfriend. He approached the girl and told her that he was just as ugly as her boyfriend and if the relationship ever failed, she could always call him with the telephone number he handed to her. In times of despair, Josh could succumb to primal behaviour and competition which he tried not to be.
One day while he was prancing around town minding his own business and doing his usual thing such as reading two books and playing with his Chinese balls simultaneously, living inside himself, with no exterior focus on how strange he acted --- a developmentally disabled person in a wheelchair physically attacked him. Even a disabled person realized that you can’t do all that and make him feel even more disabled. “Hey you there, you are a crazy man”, said the disabled person.*As Josh approached the disabled person and asked: “can I help you sir”, the disabled person just sucker punched him and tried to run him over with his wheelchair. *The gentle Josh could get over small and random beatings as his focus was on bigger and better things like reading a new book on cutting edge physics or maybe getting lucky tonight, not with a girl, but with a wall that he hoped he could walk through by defying the laws of physics as prescribed by quantum mechanical probabilities. However because of this altercation, he grew weary of people in wheelchairs rather than people with expensive basketball sneakers and hip hop pants.
Wizards, hobbits, hip hop music, CJI films, ringtones --- the things that would usually interest adolescents his age --- were of very little interest to him.* Mature stuff was his gig. In particular, he had a passion for science, theoretical physics, quantum mechanics, cosmology, fabric of space-time, philosophy, medicine, history, evolution to name a few... Like Leonardo Da Vinci, he was thunderstruck by everything, but also aborted everything until the next best thing came along and this is the reason why his knowledge base was masterful in some areas and slave in others. He was infinitely curious and virtually every breathing moment of his existence was spent reading and observing. He bit his teeth in books. Of course his chronic insomnia helped to provide him with the time he needed to engage in ferocious reading, learning, and to achieve outstanding academic performance.* It was not unusual for him to go two weeks without sleep. He would read several books a week, sometimes horizontally, in his large dusty and messy room that looked more like a library with hundreds un-shelved books lying around at the end of the day.*
*Josh would be creative in devising ways to achieve maximum knowledge in the least amount of time. While driving, he would place several books on his car windshield, dashboard, and passenger seat including his laptop so that he could read while driving. He was a hazard to himself and to others on who shared the road with him, often skimming pedestrians and nearly killing them. This almost happened to a certain Mrs. Malmone, a widow who was quite injured by Josh but his crimes went unscathed.*Mrs. Malmone was a traditional Italian woman who dressed all in black and never thought of another man following her husband’s decease. With a foundation in medicine that included attending med classes at Columbia, the compassionate Josh offered personal and better care to Mrs. Malmone at the hospital and at her home despite her and her families’ objections --- but Josh and his grandfather would hear nothing of it --- Josh was going to become her caregiver. He could not live with himself if he did not offer reparation. He slept at the hospital and at her home until she was better. A typical example of his compassion and payback for his mistakes and a clear demonstration of how he got into and out of trouble. His compassion won her over and then the unimaginable happened, Mrs. Malmone ended lusting after Josh. He was devirginized by a 61 year old woman. Welcome to the oddity that is Josh Gentile.
The Burnout
After exploring the various academic programs available at both Columbia and New York Universities, Josh finally came to terms that theoretical physics was going to be his career path. He did not find the program particularly difficult. For one, he had a passion for this field of science and secondly had read many books on the subject before entering the program. Theoretical physics intrigued him because it involved quantum mechanics which is strange yet “la crème de la crème” of all physics because of its effectiveness. Briefly, it’s a field of physics that dwells in atoms, nuclease, sub-atomic particles, and electrons. The challenge behind quantum physics is to understand the unpredictability and behaviour of electrons within the atom. Electrons are the particles that orbit around an atom but its positions are never deterministic. Therefore, when making an observation of the position of electrons, your best bet is to make a probability of your outcome. To lend a fast analogy, when making a calculation or observation in classical mechanics, the outcome is deterministic, such as 2 +2 = 4. However, at the quantum scale, when you are making a typical quantum observation of a particle position for example, your outcome is random and nondeterministic. Unlike classical mechanics, in quantum mechanics your outcome can be 4 in one controlled observation. If you were to make the very same observation the next time, your outcome may be 1964, and on subsequent observations it may be 4691, 39, and so on. The math is never the same in quantum world. The best you can conclude is a range of probabilities of your observation. Unpredictability rules in quantum mechanics and so does Josh.
Josh had coined the term as “the misbehaved child” when referring to atoms because they are so small and misbehaved. And since everything in the universe is made of unpredictable atoms, theoretical physicists have concluded that the universe and life is based on a game of chance. Furthermore, if atoms are never in a solid state position that would imply that people, all energies, and the universe itself are never in the same state from one trillionth of second to another. It was considered so revolutionary that Hitler called it Jewish science because its founders were German Jews. As much as it is strange, it is now considered modern physics and has replaced classical physics. Without quantum mechanics you would not have the high-tech electronic gadgets or astrophysical discoveries.
After countless hours of observing atom particles and trying to understand its behaviour, Josh thought he made a grand discovery about particle behaviour. His theory was that particles are rebellious character and are territorial just like animals and humans. Therefore, when we invade their space and observe them under a microscope, they become irate and uncontrollable. Josh was the happiest person in the world when his theory was published not in the reputable “The Astrophysical Journal”, but rather the journal “Spooky Action at a Distance “ which had 1 subscriber. The publisher was a young cutting-edge science afficianato who operated from home. Upon reading Josh’s paper “Revenge of the Atom”, the publisher thought the paper had theoretical legitimacy, but then thought otherwise because it was too spooky for his journal and the paper was never published. Little did the publisher know that consciousness affecting the behaviour of atoms was an accepted theory.
On June 23, Josh was eagerly awaiting to attend his last exam of the semester in “Modern Physics: Quantum Mechanics”. He had studied for a week and did not sleep for 3 nights before the exam which was not unusual for him. In the morning of the exam, he decided to take a cab to the city because he was slightly dizzy and experiencing heart palpitation. He phoned his 20-year old student friend Mario who lived nearby, who was in the same program, and had the same exam that morning: “Hey Mario, I won’t be using my fancy Honda Civic this morning because I’m not feeling to good; I’ll pick you by cab”. Josh could have driven any car he wanted, such as a Volvo or a BMW which his parents would have preferred. As he once told his parents, true theoretical physicists don’t drive beamers and that he must keep up appearances. Once they were dropped off and were walking to the campus, Josh said with concern: “Mario, I feel I am going to have a heart attack; I am feeling weak in my legs and I am dizzy”. Mario who was taking the situation lightly said: “Josh, you are just experiencing anxiety about the exam, forget about it”. Josh never worried about exams despite his generalized anxiety. “No, no, Mario, I mean it, I’m not really feeling good”. Josh proposed something that would not be too wise if one were really experiencing a heart attack: “I think I’m going to take a little jog, maybe I’ll feel better”. “Josh, how is that going to help, just relax and it will probably pass, did you have breakfast this morning”, Mario replied. “No, I didn’t, but let me just take a fast job”. As he proceeded with his jog, nothing happened. As he jogged a little faster, Josh felt this tremendous weakness all over his body and stopped jogging. As he was walking back towards Mario he expressed real concern: “oh my god Mario, I don’t think I can stand and I think I’m going to die”. “Josh, what’s wrong”, Mario said. It comes to a shock to healthy adolescent when they realize they are not indestructible: “Please God, help me!” Josh said with desperation. Mario who was very concerned now reiterated: “Josh what the hell is wrong!”. “Please God help me!” he stated again. As an agnostic, Josh would never murmur those words, but in dire desperation, Josh would turn to God for help. Mario could see that Josh was walking very slowly and looked very frightened. In panic he held Josh by the arm until they got to the campus bench. Josh had to sit down because he was going to fall like a house of cards. While sitting, he was still panic stricken because of this feeling of weakness and dying. “Josh I am going to call an ambulance right now”, Mario suggested. “No, don’t do that, I’ll be alright!” Josh said even more frightened because he didn’t want to cause a commotion and miss his exam. “But are you alright Josh because if you aren’t I’m calling an ambulance right now.” “Yes, I’m okay Mario, I think I’m feeling better”. Josh and Mario both missed their exam and just sat on the bench until he had the nerve to try to stand again because he did not like this stroke type feeling he had just experienced. An hour later, Josh got up and he felt that he had the strength to walk. Josh asked Mario to haul for a cab and to drive him home.
He immediately called his mother at Davide’s, a men’s boutique which his parents owned and operated: “Mom I missed my exam today because I think I experienced a stroke”. “Stroke, Josh don’t talk like”, Mrs. Gentile replied. “I really can’t explain what happened, but I know now how it feels when someone is going to die”, Josh said. “Josh what are you saying, can you tell me what happened, darling”. Josh proceeded to tell the event that led up to his stroke type experience. Rose asked if he wanted her to come home to check up on him, but Josh said he felt relatively fine now and asked her to finish her day. Josh tried to take a nap but could feel anxiety in his stomach because of the traumatic experience that occurred that morning. When he awoke to attend to the bathroom, he noticed that he was extremely dizzy. Then he proceeded to go to his computer and noticed that he had problems viewing his screen monitor. Now he was really worried because if he experienced simply a panic attack, he would not have these physical symptoms. His medical knowledge led him to believe that this was more serious than he thought. He spent the night with his family, re-explaining the event over and over and watching TV. For the first time in a very long very time, Josh acted like a normal adolescent that evening by not touching a book.
Without informing his parent, the very next morning he headed for Dr. Singer’s office without an appointment, the family physician. The drive to Manhattan was frightening for Josh because he was still dizzy from the day before. He explained to the doctor repeatedly what happened and the doctor proceeded to conduct an ECG in the office: “Well Josh, your ECG seems kind of normal, but I will get a cardiologist to review it, maybe you are just experiencing anxiety”, Dr. Singer stated. “Kind of normal, that isn’t too encouraging”, Josh expressed with discouragement. Never did it occur to him that at his age he could have a serious medical problem.
Josh immediately called his mom following the visit. He turned to his mom for any important reportage, especially bad news, and confided in her as a therapist. Mrs. Gentile was surprised when Josh called her from Dr. Singer’s office because she thought Josh’s problem was superfluous and that Josh was experiencing just an anxiety attack of sorts that required no further attention. But Josh was taking this health incident very serious as he had problems with vision and dizziness. “You mean Dr. Singer performed an ECG on that archaic machine that belongs at the Smithsonian Institute”, Mrs. Gentile said with shock. Josh said: “Do you think I need an angiogram or something like that”. “What the hell are you talking about Josh, oh you make me so mad. This has nothing to do with an angiogram. You need a professional ECG with a professional machine first, not one that you to crank up”. Josh was experiencing confusion and anxiety and did not know what to do. He really wanted to resolve his sudden health condition and get on with his life. Mrs. Gentile proposed the following: “Josh listen clearly now and for God’s sake please understand what I’m about to say. I want you to go to the emergency center at Mount Sinai where you will get a real ECG for the rich and famous. Who does Dr. Singer think we are, a bunch of immigrants living at the turn of the century”. Realizing Josh’s and her concern as well, Mrs. Gentile proposed bribing a nurse from Mount Sinai with one thousand dollars where Josh will get immediate and professional treatment. She continued: “ Once you get there, I want you to talk to the head nurse. Lead her to a private room, tell her that you would like to donate a thousand dollars to her favourite charity and then ask her if you can see a doctor immediately. Just do as I say and she will understand that we are bribing her. But don’t make it obvious and don’t mention the word bribe in case someone is ease dropping”. Josh did not understand the art of the bribe so it seemed.
Josh proceeded to go to Mount Sinai. At the hospital, he did exactly what his mother had instructed, but Mrs. Gentile under estimated his naivete. Josh spoke privately with nurse Blouin, the nurse in charge at the emergency room of Mount Sinai Hospital, and proceeded with the bribe: “Mrs. Blouin, I have here one thousand dollars that I would like to donate to your favourite charity but I must see a doctor immediately because I am not feeling well and I really can’t wait because I feel I’m a walking heart attack”. Nurse Blouin said: “Oh dear, what is it you’re experiencing Mr. Gentile”. “Well, at the moment I am feeling dizzy with vision problem”, Josh said. “Do you suffer from panic attacks, heart disease, or other illnesses,” she continued. Josh who was getting antsy by now said: “I really don’t know, maybe I suffer from everything you just emphasized. Like I mentioned, I have a thousand dollars that I would like to donate to your favourite charity, but I need to see a doctor immediately. Nurse Blouin immediately understood she was being bribed and she was delighted because it was such a large amount. “No problem Mr. Gentile, you just stay put and I’ll get you a doctor, but I think you are just experiencing anxiety”, she replied. Josh did not appreciate nurse Blouin’s blunt assumption of his condition because she was totally unaware what happened the day before and the fact that so many diseases are misdiagnosed, but he was glad he was being taken care of immediately: “Oh great, thank you very much, this is much appreciated Mrs. Blouin. Josh mostly used his credit cards or his check book to pay for his purchases and proceeded to bribe nurse Blouin with a checkbook. Receving a bribe by check threw Nurse Blouin off: “Mrs. Blouin to whom do I make the check to”, Josh said. Nurse Blouin replied with confusion: “Oh, you want to donate directly to my charity”. Josh replied: “Mrs. Blouin, all I want to do is give you money and you can do whatever your heart desires”, “You mean, you want me to accept your check and do as I please with it personally, right”, she said. “That’s right”, Josh said. Nurse Blouin said: “Well I can’t do that if you give me a check”. “What’s wrong with a check, it’s good money”, Josh replied. “I’m very confused, is this a bribe you are offering me or not... let’s understand each other here”, she said with anger because she could have certainly use the money. For one thousand dollar, her ethics went out the window. Josh who was not feeling well did not need a stressful argument at this moment: “Mrs. Blouin, I got one thousand dollars here for you and all you have to do is go to the bank and cash the damn check. I’m quite certain I have a thousand sitting in my bank account.” Mrs. Blouin was in a spiral now because she accepted many bribes before and this was the first time where a bribe was done by check that could bounce: “You mean you might not have the money too in your account, this is too much, I can’t take this any longer. Mr. Gentile what do you want me to do for you because I just about had it”. Josh realize that his bribe was not going to be a “fait accompli”. Josh continued with a mild tone: “Mrs. Blouin, let’s start over again because maybe you misunderstood me. I want to give you one thousand dollars and for that one thousand dollars you will get me an immediate doctor, that’s all”. Nurse Blouin with her blood pressure red in the face just exploded because she was dealing with an idiot and wanted that money badly. “But I can’t accept a check Mr. Gentile and now you are saying that you might not have it. I need hard cash currency if your intention is to bribe me. I can lose my job for accepting a bribe with my name on the check, can’t you understand that. How old are you anyway”. Josh’s vision and dizziness was getting worse as he was trying to resolve this bribe ordeal. Josh said: “You want one thousand dollar cash. Who carries a thousand dollars. If my check were to bounce, don’t worry, I’ll personally deliver you a thousand dollar cash right here at the hospital”.
The Oddity of Josh Gentile
Meet Josh Gentile
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In a generation wrapped around a ball of confusion and an eccentric personality to boot, he had a little chance at leading a normal existence. Meet the brilliant 16-year old schizo, Josh the-gentile-Jew. If one of the many root causes of Josh Gentile’s “being” are of any relevance, perhaps it can be attributed to the success-driven adolescent psyche of today where dreams are grandeur and anything is possible. Who can blame these wannabes raised on Fruit Loops and long-shot dreams.
*
Though he was well-educated and ambitious, members of this new breed of narcissists still shift 5 gears ahead of their drive and constantly stalling. Josh was most definitely an interesting outcome of his times. For one --- being a child prodigy who read ferociously --- and secondly, he was an eccentric genius who pushed the envelope in all of his endeavours and got in and out of trouble because of the clash between the theory in books he read and the reality of the life he challenged.
*
Josh was an only child and the offspring of Italian and Jewish parentage, Umberto Gentile and Rose Stern. Both were eccentric in their own right, with one side being bold and crazy and the other side being neurotic and brilliant. The “off” genetic inheritance*of both his parents including all his ancestors not only created the capricious Josh but also all of his relatives alike.* They were all uniquely “off” the center. Though from bourgeois beginnings, Josh came from an upper middle class background thanks to his grandfather Thomas Gentile who strived for money and security at any means.
By age 17, he had already dropped out in theoretical physics and had switched programs often since entering at age 15.* Theoretical physics was his outlet to ponder the many W5 questions about the many mysteries of life. Due to his academic accomplishments, Josh was already a celebrity of sorts in the New York area but he had no appreciation for media attention. He liked his privacy and tried to remain incognito. When he was once asked why he chose theoretical physics as his academic pursuit, he could respond with a poetic ring: “Atoms are amazing and intangible building blocks of everything and just like a mason, I want to build beautiful castles in my head with those building blocks.” That’s one segment of the work of theoretical physicists --- to study the behaviours of atoms and make great discoveries in technology to cosmology.
He never fell short of compliments and when an answer was good by responding enthusiastically: “That is ingenious”. When your answer was brilliant, he was quick to use his vast vocabulary to glorify your statement: “That is ingenious, efficacious and electric.” He would experience a high from great nucleic observations. On the other hand, when an observation was not satisfactory, he was polite and would state: “Your answer contradicts some data” or “you skipped a stage in your argument.” When an answer was totally left field and if he perceived arrogance from his challenger, he could be quite forward and spew a bunch of criticisms: “Your response is ineffectual, incalculable, and unbelievable cutting-edge bull****”. For the better part of him, Josh was a good humanitarian. In the midst of a stressful situation however, Josh could release a rainbow of negative emotions and clip the wings of the better angel that he became to be known for. He could be strong-minded, defensive, opinionated, and contradictory --- all expressed with well spoken words. On the more serious side, little did he realize that he went about his life unaware of his conditions that included obsessive-compulsive disorder, bi-polar disorder, and delusions of grandeur. *However all these conditions were not a hindrance to his many achievements.* Josh had accumulated vast amount knowledge through formal academics or autodidact in the area of science, education, health, law, medicine, business, philosophy, the arts... *With the help of his very powerful mob grandfather and his computer hacker cousin Marty Kattleman, he had managed to enrol simultaneously in two different programs from both New York and Columbia Universities. And despite this heavy load, his grades were always outstanding.*
When he was not reading, one of his hobbies of choice was quantum mechanics strangely enough. Quantum mechanics is the study of atoms and their unpredictable nature. A kindred spirit science well suited for Josh considering his own unpredictable nature. For example, in his lab he had the exhausting mental zest for experimenting with time travel by making sub-atomic particles leapfrog into the future or analyzing mathematical equations as to complete Albert Einstein’s Unified Field Theory. Of course, all were impossible tasks even for this Mensa boy. He just dwelled in the impossible and*that was his escape.
As much as he was super intelligent, he lacked a sense of experiment and creativity for lab experiments. His forte was strictly understanding theory which can be hazardous in the practical world. He would do just fine as a science popularizer for a career. The famous Albert Einstein was not overly mathematical, in fact he struggled with math, but had an unprecedented sense of creativity and intuition in understanding cosmology for which he wrote his famous theory of “General Relativity.” Smart people come at a dime a dozen, but with creative people it’s a totally different deal. There’s a saying that goes: “those you who can’t do – teach. And those who can’t teach --- teach gym. And those that can’t teach gym --- are forever taking courses in continuing education”.
*
Unlike his peers, he did not aspire to become a savvy billionaire financial wiz nor to being the next media has-been. His narcissistic turn-on was “greatness” --- greatness in the intellectual fields. The who’s who of popular culture was of very little interest to him. According to him Paris Hilton is a hotel in Paris. Great intellectual minds are what he cried over, just like Caesar crying over the statue of Alexander the Great because of his accomplishments at such a young age. The greats he idolized were Neils Bohr, Albert Einstein, Stephen Hawking, Leonardo Da Vinci, Charles Darwin, Carl Sagan, Brian Greene, Jonas Salk, Jean-Paul Satre,*Bertrand Russel, Michael Moore, Ralph Nader, Aristotle, Jesus Christ, St-Francis of Assisi... He possessed a spirit of humanity, intellectualism, revolution --- and aspired to make a change in the world which he viewed as decadent. He hoped to do this through science, medicine, philosophy or whatever means necessary --- thus echoing his narcissistic greatness for an eternity.*
While most self-conscious adolescents his age concerned themselves with their position within their circle of friends, he was more concerned with his observations of particles circling atoms under the scanning tunnelling microscope that he used to conduct experiments in quantum mechanics.* His appearance was that of a dishevelled yet cool-looking intellectual kid with long wavy dark hair. He resembled a young Al Pacino with the Serpico wavy long hair look. But he was not at all handsome like Al Pacino.* Coming from Italian and Jewish ancestry, he fit the stereotypical Mediterranean look with the long face and olive skin tone.*He was average in stature and of no great threat to someone his age with a Nordic bulldog face. While everyone else dressed “à la mode”, Josh was a throwback to the beat-nick generation years with his ragged jeans, t-shirt, worn out sneakers, and leather handbags.
It would seem only likely that with superior knowledge comes superior reasoning and debate. This was hardly the case with Josh. As much as he was able to demonstrate the battle of the wits, he could demonstrate the battle of the wackiness. During a conversation or debate with someone, he could make impressive observations and but then he would turn around and make unprecedented and unbelievably dim-witted observations. There was always a 50/50 chance with Josh that he would state something that was either very deep or very dumb. Here’s a typical example. Take-one action.
While in the presence of his cousin Frank, a spiritually-minded person who dedicated his life to Jesus, Josh just loved to engage into philosophical discussions with him while they spent time together at his engraving shop.* His shop was a place of work, but also a place to hang out, shoot the breeze or get into serious heated discussions. When a striking thought came to mind, he would often drop by Frank’s place to discuss his observation. One biological matter that Josh pondered was --- is “love” and “need” a fabric of the same feeling, intertwined, or*a direct synonym for "need.”* For example, do we love*someone because we need them for our survival? Do we love Beatles music because it makes us feel good and we can’t bare not to hear the riff chords to*“Day Tripper” ever again?* Do we help someone because we are banking on receiving help from that someone in the future? Do we ever give without the expectation of never receiving? Is everything that we do for the sake of our own selfish security and survival? These thoughts disturbed Josh because he wanted to be more evolved and humanistic and not be a selfish and competitive gene. This was a very intellectual observation for an adolescent and even his cousin could relate to him and respect him for that. Change the topic and Josh can fall flat on his face by making statements that are so wacky.
Josh was secular in religion, a deist, or even an agnostic. He wasn’t quite sure because of the lack of empirical and scientific evidence for a God of prayer. However, he did believe in a God of design who created the universe and all its physical laws which he could see first-hand. In his opinion, the creation of the universe was not a one-in-a-hundred billion chance. Following the same logical pattern as a watchmaker who designs watch clocks, there is no reason why this logical pattern could not be applied in the design of the universe by a God. Frank believed in the Bible wholeheartedly. In fact, he was a real Bible thumper who was especially concerned with hell which he feared and which led him to lead a moralistic life so as to ensure his place in heaven. Josh on the other hand, and just like Einstein and all of the truly great thinkers of past and present, did not believe in a God of intervention. God understands space, time, gravity, cosmic order --- and not morality, faith, hell, salvation, and punishment. Hitler and St-Francis of Assisi are equals according to Josh’s view of God. Josh and Frank would have discussions of attrition and even heated arguments over their interpretation of God. One day, another enlightening thought hit Josh smack in the brain and thought he had Frank cornered : “Frank, when God created the laws of physics, he imposed immediate consequences if we violated them --- like jumping off a 2nd story building and becoming a quadriplegic. Or maybe smoking 4 packs a day and dying of cancer by age 40. Following that consistency, why are there no immediate consequences for breaking the laws of morality?” Frank not really paying attention to the question replied: “there are consequences ---- come judgement day.” “But I said immediate consequences, Frank”, Josh answered back. “Josh, what you don’t understand is that God must take into account all of your sins before setting his sentence.” “Following that course of action Frank, God should take into account our physical violations too for judgement day; does that mean I can jump off a bridge and pay for my injuries once I’m gone.” Josh thought this was just another lame tactic from Frank and the writers of the Christian bible to control the mass through the scare of hell fire which cannot be proven. “Frank, I ain’t buying this argument either because it’s just another claim that cannot be proven because we’ll all be dead and buried without recourse to prove you and your faith wrong.” “Josh, believe whatever you like, but all I’ve got to tell you is that God can be merciless to serious sinners and he’d just love to hang'em high”, Frank replied. “Well Frank, I may disagree with you, but I will staunchly defend your right to say whatever you believe.” Josh was now eager to state an observation that he thought was plausible: “Frank I think I know what happens in the afterlife, now just hear me out to what I believe please !: Did it ever occur to you that in the word God, the letter g is in the front of the word God... and in the word dog, the letter g is at the end of the word dog.” “Yeah and so”, Frank replied with ears wide open now because he knew something strange was coming down the pipeline. “Well doesn’t it strike you, the letter g is at the beginning of the word God implying the beginning of life, and that the letter g is at the end of the word dog implying the end of life”. “Wha…, wha…, what are driving at?” Frank replied with confusion and annoyance. “What I am saying is that once we are deceased, we are re-incarnated into dogs.” “That is the craziest thing I have ever, ever, ever heard in my life and I think I should call an ambulance!” Frank said with shock that anyone could ever propose such nonsense. “Call an ambulance, what for”, Josh replied with confusion. “Because I think you are sick in the head, my dear cousin.” “Josh, you have just outdone yourself and should quit while you’re ahead. What you are saying is quite disturbing and I am going to pop you one.” “But Frank, how’s that different and strange from your belief in internal damnation? Also why do we consider dogs as man’s best friend, did you ever think of that. Don’t you see God’s message here”, Josh explained. “This is a joke, right. Okay, good one”, Frank said while he concentrated back on his work. Josh said: “Frank, I’m being quite serious and I really thought you would find this to be enlightening.” “Oh my God, Josh I truly think you are a whack job.” Josh said: “So those who believe that a china teapot orbits the earth are crazy too. It may be crazy to you, but to them they think your hell is crazy.” Frank said: “Let me ask you something Josh, your whole God and dog observation, does that translate into the Hebrew, Greek, and Italian languages too.” “Of course not Frank, God communicates in English because that’s the International language used so that everyone can understand his message.” Frank who had a temper and who was rebellious before he was born again was so infuriated by Josh’s sacrilegious thoughts that he smashed an engraved Crystal champagne bottle. Josh now knew not to mix God with dog.
If you were driving around Manhattan and thought you saw Josh, you did.* The Apple was his center of the universe because of its culture and free-spirit. However, he lived in a ritzy part of Brooklyn called Forte Green. If it were 1969 again, he’d fit right in with the intellectuals, artists, geniuses, counter-cultures, freaks, and dreamers at Andy Warhol’s club “The Factory” notwithstanding the drugs and sex. It was not unusual for him to walk and think for hours when he had a problem to resolve despite the bustling and pollution of New York City. Other times, you would find him reading, computing, drinking coffee, and smoking in popular Village cafes. In the summer, he’d be in Central Park doing some reading and girl watching. Though he was not painfully shy, he would psyche himself up to start a conversation with a girl that caught his fancy, especially if she was reading a book such as “The Origin of Species by Charles Darwin”. He’d figure this girl has to be friendly and evolved, but almost all of the times the girls were older and they thought of him as too young and a liar because he stated that he was a university student even after showing his student ID. So he only got as far as meeting a friendly acquaintance. He had a weakness for beautiful girls with light hair and often enough would see them with ugly boyfriends. He figured that some girls have a fetish for ugly men because they look like their pet dog. One day, he was determined that he was going to meet a nice girl in Central Park. He struck out every time and was frustrated. Before he’d give up for the day, he saw again a beautiful girl with an ugly boyfriend. He approached the girl and told her that he was just as ugly as her boyfriend and if the relationship ever failed, she could always call him with the telephone number he handed to her. In times of despair, Josh could succumb to primal behaviour and competition which he tried not to be.
One day while he was prancing around town minding his own business and doing his usual thing such as reading two books and playing with his Chinese balls simultaneously, living inside himself, with no exterior focus on how strange he acted --- a developmentally disabled person in a wheelchair physically attacked him. Even a disabled person realized that you can’t do all that and make him feel even more disabled. “Hey you there, you are a crazy man”, said the disabled person.*As Josh approached the disabled person and asked: “can I help you sir”, the disabled person just sucker punched him and tried to run him over with his wheelchair. *The gentle Josh could get over small and random beatings as his focus was on bigger and better things like reading a new book on cutting edge physics or maybe getting lucky tonight, not with a girl, but with a wall that he hoped he could walk through by defying the laws of physics as prescribed by quantum mechanical probabilities. However because of this altercation, he grew weary of people in wheelchairs rather than people with expensive basketball sneakers and hip hop pants.
Wizards, hobbits, hip hop music, CJI films, ringtones --- the things that would usually interest adolescents his age --- were of very little interest to him.* Mature stuff was his gig. In particular, he had a passion for science, theoretical physics, quantum mechanics, cosmology, fabric of space-time, philosophy, medicine, history, evolution to name a few... Like Leonardo Da Vinci, he was thunderstruck by everything, but also aborted everything until the next best thing came along and this is the reason why his knowledge base was masterful in some areas and slave in others. He was infinitely curious and virtually every breathing moment of his existence was spent reading and observing. He bit his teeth in books. Of course his chronic insomnia helped to provide him with the time he needed to engage in ferocious reading, learning, and to achieve outstanding academic performance.* It was not unusual for him to go two weeks without sleep. He would read several books a week, sometimes horizontally, in his large dusty and messy room that looked more like a library with hundreds un-shelved books lying around at the end of the day.*
*Josh would be creative in devising ways to achieve maximum knowledge in the least amount of time. While driving, he would place several books on his car windshield, dashboard, and passenger seat including his laptop so that he could read while driving. He was a hazard to himself and to others on who shared the road with him, often skimming pedestrians and nearly killing them. This almost happened to a certain Mrs. Malmone, a widow who was quite injured by Josh but his crimes went unscathed.*Mrs. Malmone was a traditional Italian woman who dressed all in black and never thought of another man following her husband’s decease. With a foundation in medicine that included attending med classes at Columbia, the compassionate Josh offered personal and better care to Mrs. Malmone at the hospital and at her home despite her and her families’ objections --- but Josh and his grandfather would hear nothing of it --- Josh was going to become her caregiver. He could not live with himself if he did not offer reparation. He slept at the hospital and at her home until she was better. A typical example of his compassion and payback for his mistakes and a clear demonstration of how he got into and out of trouble. His compassion won her over and then the unimaginable happened, Mrs. Malmone ended lusting after Josh. He was devirginized by a 61 year old woman. Welcome to the oddity that is Josh Gentile.
The Burnout
After exploring the various academic programs available at both Columbia and New York Universities, Josh finally came to terms that theoretical physics was going to be his career path. He did not find the program particularly difficult. For one, he had a passion for this field of science and secondly had read many books on the subject before entering the program. Theoretical physics intrigued him because it involved quantum mechanics which is strange yet “la crème de la crème” of all physics because of its effectiveness. Briefly, it’s a field of physics that dwells in atoms, nuclease, sub-atomic particles, and electrons. The challenge behind quantum physics is to understand the unpredictability and behaviour of electrons within the atom. Electrons are the particles that orbit around an atom but its positions are never deterministic. Therefore, when making an observation of the position of electrons, your best bet is to make a probability of your outcome. To lend a fast analogy, when making a calculation or observation in classical mechanics, the outcome is deterministic, such as 2 +2 = 4. However, at the quantum scale, when you are making a typical quantum observation of a particle position for example, your outcome is random and nondeterministic. Unlike classical mechanics, in quantum mechanics your outcome can be 4 in one controlled observation. If you were to make the very same observation the next time, your outcome may be 1964, and on subsequent observations it may be 4691, 39, and so on. The math is never the same in quantum world. The best you can conclude is a range of probabilities of your observation. Unpredictability rules in quantum mechanics and so does Josh.
Josh had coined the term as “the misbehaved child” when referring to atoms because they are so small and misbehaved. And since everything in the universe is made of unpredictable atoms, theoretical physicists have concluded that the universe and life is based on a game of chance. Furthermore, if atoms are never in a solid state position that would imply that people, all energies, and the universe itself are never in the same state from one trillionth of second to another. It was considered so revolutionary that Hitler called it Jewish science because its founders were German Jews. As much as it is strange, it is now considered modern physics and has replaced classical physics. Without quantum mechanics you would not have the high-tech electronic gadgets or astrophysical discoveries.
After countless hours of observing atom particles and trying to understand its behaviour, Josh thought he made a grand discovery about particle behaviour. His theory was that particles are rebellious character and are territorial just like animals and humans. Therefore, when we invade their space and observe them under a microscope, they become irate and uncontrollable. Josh was the happiest person in the world when his theory was published not in the reputable “The Astrophysical Journal”, but rather the journal “Spooky Action at a Distance “ which had 1 subscriber. The publisher was a young cutting-edge science afficianato who operated from home. Upon reading Josh’s paper “Revenge of the Atom”, the publisher thought the paper had theoretical legitimacy, but then thought otherwise because it was too spooky for his journal and the paper was never published. Little did the publisher know that consciousness affecting the behaviour of atoms was an accepted theory.
On June 23, Josh was eagerly awaiting to attend his last exam of the semester in “Modern Physics: Quantum Mechanics”. He had studied for a week and did not sleep for 3 nights before the exam which was not unusual for him. In the morning of the exam, he decided to take a cab to the city because he was slightly dizzy and experiencing heart palpitation. He phoned his 20-year old student friend Mario who lived nearby, who was in the same program, and had the same exam that morning: “Hey Mario, I won’t be using my fancy Honda Civic this morning because I’m not feeling to good; I’ll pick you by cab”. Josh could have driven any car he wanted, such as a Volvo or a BMW which his parents would have preferred. As he once told his parents, true theoretical physicists don’t drive beamers and that he must keep up appearances. Once they were dropped off and were walking to the campus, Josh said with concern: “Mario, I feel I am going to have a heart attack; I am feeling weak in my legs and I am dizzy”. Mario who was taking the situation lightly said: “Josh, you are just experiencing anxiety about the exam, forget about it”. Josh never worried about exams despite his generalized anxiety. “No, no, Mario, I mean it, I’m not really feeling good”. Josh proposed something that would not be too wise if one were really experiencing a heart attack: “I think I’m going to take a little jog, maybe I’ll feel better”. “Josh, how is that going to help, just relax and it will probably pass, did you have breakfast this morning”, Mario replied. “No, I didn’t, but let me just take a fast job”. As he proceeded with his jog, nothing happened. As he jogged a little faster, Josh felt this tremendous weakness all over his body and stopped jogging. As he was walking back towards Mario he expressed real concern: “oh my god Mario, I don’t think I can stand and I think I’m going to die”. “Josh, what’s wrong”, Mario said. It comes to a shock to healthy adolescent when they realize they are not indestructible: “Please God, help me!” Josh said with desperation. Mario who was very concerned now reiterated: “Josh what the hell is wrong!”. “Please God help me!” he stated again. As an agnostic, Josh would never murmur those words, but in dire desperation, Josh would turn to God for help. Mario could see that Josh was walking very slowly and looked very frightened. In panic he held Josh by the arm until they got to the campus bench. Josh had to sit down because he was going to fall like a house of cards. While sitting, he was still panic stricken because of this feeling of weakness and dying. “Josh I am going to call an ambulance right now”, Mario suggested. “No, don’t do that, I’ll be alright!” Josh said even more frightened because he didn’t want to cause a commotion and miss his exam. “But are you alright Josh because if you aren’t I’m calling an ambulance right now.” “Yes, I’m okay Mario, I think I’m feeling better”. Josh and Mario both missed their exam and just sat on the bench until he had the nerve to try to stand again because he did not like this stroke type feeling he had just experienced. An hour later, Josh got up and he felt that he had the strength to walk. Josh asked Mario to haul for a cab and to drive him home.
He immediately called his mother at Davide’s, a men’s boutique which his parents owned and operated: “Mom I missed my exam today because I think I experienced a stroke”. “Stroke, Josh don’t talk like”, Mrs. Gentile replied. “I really can’t explain what happened, but I know now how it feels when someone is going to die”, Josh said. “Josh what are you saying, can you tell me what happened, darling”. Josh proceeded to tell the event that led up to his stroke type experience. Rose asked if he wanted her to come home to check up on him, but Josh said he felt relatively fine now and asked her to finish her day. Josh tried to take a nap but could feel anxiety in his stomach because of the traumatic experience that occurred that morning. When he awoke to attend to the bathroom, he noticed that he was extremely dizzy. Then he proceeded to go to his computer and noticed that he had problems viewing his screen monitor. Now he was really worried because if he experienced simply a panic attack, he would not have these physical symptoms. His medical knowledge led him to believe that this was more serious than he thought. He spent the night with his family, re-explaining the event over and over and watching TV. For the first time in a very long very time, Josh acted like a normal adolescent that evening by not touching a book.
Without informing his parent, the very next morning he headed for Dr. Singer’s office without an appointment, the family physician. The drive to Manhattan was frightening for Josh because he was still dizzy from the day before. He explained to the doctor repeatedly what happened and the doctor proceeded to conduct an ECG in the office: “Well Josh, your ECG seems kind of normal, but I will get a cardiologist to review it, maybe you are just experiencing anxiety”, Dr. Singer stated. “Kind of normal, that isn’t too encouraging”, Josh expressed with discouragement. Never did it occur to him that at his age he could have a serious medical problem.
Josh immediately called his mom following the visit. He turned to his mom for any important reportage, especially bad news, and confided in her as a therapist. Mrs. Gentile was surprised when Josh called her from Dr. Singer’s office because she thought Josh’s problem was superfluous and that Josh was experiencing just an anxiety attack of sorts that required no further attention. But Josh was taking this health incident very serious as he had problems with vision and dizziness. “You mean Dr. Singer performed an ECG on that archaic machine that belongs at the Smithsonian Institute”, Mrs. Gentile said with shock. Josh said: “Do you think I need an angiogram or something like that”. “What the hell are you talking about Josh, oh you make me so mad. This has nothing to do with an angiogram. You need a professional ECG with a professional machine first, not one that you to crank up”. Josh was experiencing confusion and anxiety and did not know what to do. He really wanted to resolve his sudden health condition and get on with his life. Mrs. Gentile proposed the following: “Josh listen clearly now and for God’s sake please understand what I’m about to say. I want you to go to the emergency center at Mount Sinai where you will get a real ECG for the rich and famous. Who does Dr. Singer think we are, a bunch of immigrants living at the turn of the century”. Realizing Josh’s and her concern as well, Mrs. Gentile proposed bribing a nurse from Mount Sinai with one thousand dollars where Josh will get immediate and professional treatment. She continued: “ Once you get there, I want you to talk to the head nurse. Lead her to a private room, tell her that you would like to donate a thousand dollars to her favourite charity and then ask her if you can see a doctor immediately. Just do as I say and she will understand that we are bribing her. But don’t make it obvious and don’t mention the word bribe in case someone is ease dropping”. Josh did not understand the art of the bribe so it seemed.
Josh proceeded to go to Mount Sinai. At the hospital, he did exactly what his mother had instructed, but Mrs. Gentile under estimated his naivete. Josh spoke privately with nurse Blouin, the nurse in charge at the emergency room of Mount Sinai Hospital, and proceeded with the bribe: “Mrs. Blouin, I have here one thousand dollars that I would like to donate to your favourite charity but I must see a doctor immediately because I am not feeling well and I really can’t wait because I feel I’m a walking heart attack”. Nurse Blouin said: “Oh dear, what is it you’re experiencing Mr. Gentile”. “Well, at the moment I am feeling dizzy with vision problem”, Josh said. “Do you suffer from panic attacks, heart disease, or other illnesses,” she continued. Josh who was getting antsy by now said: “I really don’t know, maybe I suffer from everything you just emphasized. Like I mentioned, I have a thousand dollars that I would like to donate to your favourite charity, but I need to see a doctor immediately. Nurse Blouin immediately understood she was being bribed and she was delighted because it was such a large amount. “No problem Mr. Gentile, you just stay put and I’ll get you a doctor, but I think you are just experiencing anxiety”, she replied. Josh did not appreciate nurse Blouin’s blunt assumption of his condition because she was totally unaware what happened the day before and the fact that so many diseases are misdiagnosed, but he was glad he was being taken care of immediately: “Oh great, thank you very much, this is much appreciated Mrs. Blouin. Josh mostly used his credit cards or his check book to pay for his purchases and proceeded to bribe nurse Blouin with a checkbook. Receving a bribe by check threw Nurse Blouin off: “Mrs. Blouin to whom do I make the check to”, Josh said. Nurse Blouin replied with confusion: “Oh, you want to donate directly to my charity”. Josh replied: “Mrs. Blouin, all I want to do is give you money and you can do whatever your heart desires”, “You mean, you want me to accept your check and do as I please with it personally, right”, she said. “That’s right”, Josh said. Nurse Blouin said: “Well I can’t do that if you give me a check”. “What’s wrong with a check, it’s good money”, Josh replied. “I’m very confused, is this a bribe you are offering me or not... let’s understand each other here”, she said with anger because she could have certainly use the money. For one thousand dollar, her ethics went out the window. Josh who was not feeling well did not need a stressful argument at this moment: “Mrs. Blouin, I got one thousand dollars here for you and all you have to do is go to the bank and cash the damn check. I’m quite certain I have a thousand sitting in my bank account.” Mrs. Blouin was in a spiral now because she accepted many bribes before and this was the first time where a bribe was done by check that could bounce: “You mean you might not have the money too in your account, this is too much, I can’t take this any longer. Mr. Gentile what do you want me to do for you because I just about had it”. Josh realize that his bribe was not going to be a “fait accompli”. Josh continued with a mild tone: “Mrs. Blouin, let’s start over again because maybe you misunderstood me. I want to give you one thousand dollars and for that one thousand dollars you will get me an immediate doctor, that’s all”. Nurse Blouin with her blood pressure red in the face just exploded because she was dealing with an idiot and wanted that money badly. “But I can’t accept a check Mr. Gentile and now you are saying that you might not have it. I need hard cash currency if your intention is to bribe me. I can lose my job for accepting a bribe with my name on the check, can’t you understand that. How old are you anyway”. Josh’s vision and dizziness was getting worse as he was trying to resolve this bribe ordeal. Josh said: “You want one thousand dollar cash. Who carries a thousand dollars. If my check were to bounce, don’t worry, I’ll personally deliver you a thousand dollar cash right here at the hospital”.