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TheEarthIsRound
06-27-2010, 07:33 PM
This is a scientific poem:

This is the poem which
Is Created by Freud’s paradigm.
This is when Veritas
Progresses, from open theory
(well not exactly, due
To religion and other trivial things)
To a closed, confined,
Hypothesis and proof
Paradigm.
Analysis analysis and analysis--
But I long and embark Paradise.


This is a stubborn poem:
I am writing this poem
Because certain cells in
My brain function
That which creates
Emotion
That which is created
by the Theory,
The Theory,
Of atoms.
What do I see and
What do you see?

Someday we will be
Robots.
Someday when I look
Out the window
I will not see blue sky
I will not breathe clean
Air,
But I will see the composition of
Ocean
Composition of Air,
That, in its own sense,
Cannot be broken down
Into a definite quantity.

So why am I here,
Touching the ground
Of Mathematics?
Why am I here, explaining
Just the things that
JUST happen?
I’m not making sense
Here, making a valid
Argument to which
We call objective science.
To which science that the
Operators are us.
That the conclusions are from
Us.

It’s all Garbage.
But there is still time
There is always time.
To let the Garbage
Discern us the reaches of sight
And thought that
Penetrate far, far
Beyond our wet cells.

I want to breathe,
Just breathe a little bit.
I want to drink water
As water,
not as the conception of it.
Air as air,
not as the conception of it.
Life as life.
Not the conception of it.

I want to get rid of the paradigms.


I want to go to Paradise.

PrinceMyshkin
06-27-2010, 08:13 PM
Don't we all want this:


I want to breath,
Just breath a little bit.
I want to drink water
As water,
not as the conception of it.
Air as air,
not as the conception of it.
Life as life.
Not the conception of it.

Thought-provoking, but change "breath" [the noun] to breathe [the verb].

blazeofglory
06-28-2010, 05:37 AM
Do not panic you are in paradise already, the paradise you weave out of your mind's eye maybe delusive; Beyond this is a hallucination, the kind one can visualize when one is in an ethereal state. And the presence of science and the negation of it or the fusion of your emotion and scientific facts got you to write this beautiful poem. I am in a poetic mood today and that made me see more the poetry of it and less the science ingrained in this. You have conceptualized the concepts of poetry theories of science into a beautiful versification like this. At tines juxtaposed ideas, or things that are poles apart can leave striking effects and whether you like or not it is the science or the repudiation of it by you birthed this poem

TheEarthIsRound
06-30-2010, 12:42 AM
Thank you both prince and blazeofglory. I really do wish that literature can help us to go beyond words and its contexts, to exceed our paradigms =)

hack
06-30-2010, 08:40 PM
T.E.I.R.,
This is great. I like it a lot.
A couple of editing issues,
very minor actually. If I may:

Change V2L4
make "brains" "brain"

Change V3L6
make "breath" "breathe"

This is really good, I can see the paper now.
"Neurochemical Underpinnings of Poetry in H. sapiens"

...peace...

also

Change V4L13
"conclusion" to the plural "conclusions"
or follow conclusion with "is" not "are"

Sampson
06-30-2010, 08:43 PM
hmm... this is very thought provoking poem which, i think, makes a wonderful point in a skilled and concise way. cheers for posting!

Bar22do
06-30-2010, 09:11 PM
It's in the nature of man to seek understanding, to look for the beyond, into the depth of this universe that blessed or cursed (or both) man with inquisitive capacities and urges... and with the need to NAME... but - you're so right, just to breathe or to drink is experiencing life - and how important this is!... but cannot the two approaches, the reflexive and the immediate make good neighbours with us? and are we not free to choose just to enjoy water as water when we're in touch? or look into a drop's micro-worlds to admire its coherent organisation... etc... etc... literature, with its own means, can certainly contribute in various ways of experiencing life...
So you see, your poem gives much matter for thought; so thank you for your interesting verse - Bar

TheEarthIsRound
07-02-2010, 12:38 AM
@Hack- Thanks for all the correction and glad that you like it!
@Sampson- Thank you very much for your encouragement!
@Bar22do- Your comment is exactly what I wish to express- we've been blinded in so deep an assumption for so long- everything we see is based on our imposed perception one example is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJIQTf5UpRU&feature=PlayList&p=0E104ACF0798DB48&playnext_from=PL&playnext=1&index=42

Thank you all for that it is my pleasure that you guys like it!

Bar22do
07-03-2010, 09:08 PM
@Hack- Thanks for all the correction and glad that you like it!
@Sampson- Thank you very much for your encouragement!
@Bar22do- Your comment is exactly what I wish to express- we've been blinded in so deep an assumption for so long- everything we see is based on our imposed perception one example is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJIQTf5UpRU&feature=PlayList&p=0E104ACF0798DB48&playnext_from=PL&playnext=1&index=42

Thank you all for that it is my pleasure that you guys like it!

And yet, concave IS concave and if we train our brain anew, and want to be aware, our eye too will accept to see it as such! A certain Galileo refused to surrender when he stamped his feet and muttered: eppure si muove!
Thanks for youtube's example (it's like the famous psychology manuals' example of the old man face that is at the same time one of a young pretty girl) - be well, Bar