Dear Life

[D.P.Trottier]

Dear Life,
Throughout times of reminiscing, I recall the best hours that we've spent together. I try to figure out why you would have left me to exist without feeling your motivation. Why would you abandon me when I am me because of you, I am here because you invested in putting me here. Today I realized that it isn't your fault, and I'm sorry. I realized that I abandoned you. When I should have been seizing the moment, and being whole, I chose to be in a constant state of retrospect. Living in the past, neglecting your talent for persistently creating the present. You deserve someone who would be more appreciative of your intimate gift.

[D.P.Trottier]

this is a "suicide letter/Dear John" letter that I'm toying with for a conclusion to a short story, opionions, positive or negative, would be great.

[Hawkman]

I'm afraid that I have no experience of suicide notes so can not really decide whether this ranks as one or not. I would not interpret it as such but then I'm not suicidal. However, it does seem to be very well reasoned by someone who isn't blaming anyone else for their predicament. Such realistic self-knowledge would indicate to me that the writer would be capable of addressing the issues that disturb him.

As a dear John it is more believable. It reads as acceptance of a failed relationship but completely without recrimination against the other party.

Just my impression though. H

[hillwalker]

I agree with H on this one.
I tend to think a suicide letter would be far less balanced and forgiving - although I have no first-hand knowledge I feel a potential suicide would tend to focus on the immediate reason for choosing such an escape route than reminisce on a failed relationship in such detail.

[PrinceMyshkin]

So far the comments have evaded my expectation that there's be debate as to whether this belonged in the poetry forum, whether it was a prose poem, etc., but as it is, in terms of its intended context, it is hard to evaluate. It does evoke a certain amount of skepticism in me: if indeed this is your protagonist's suicide note, why is it so self-blaming? If the essence of the short story is that the protagonist was stuck in some eternally self-defeating attempt to be a 'good' boy, brother, son, lover... and in that way had never realized himself, then this might fit... as a gentle (?) condemnation of him.

[D.P.Trottier]

I appreciate the criticism. The way I looked at it, addressing the speculation of it's suicidal inclinations, is that first off: why wouldnt it be self-blaming? If it was meant to blame someone else than he would probably be killing them and not himself. It lacks high-energy and immediate reasonings for suicide in place of slow, reflection. I have no suicidal experience either, so maybe my representation is a poor one. I imagined that right before bringing on the end, one would accept it that it is the end and naturally think back in retrospect.

I'm not sure how I'll carry it out yet, but thanks for the opinions